Young people

I need help!

replies: 7

I self harmed for the first time last night. I've never done that before no matter how severe I get. I've been thinking of ways to end my life and I just need some help but I can't afford a shrink what do I do?

New and struggling

replies: 5

Hiya, So after 8 months of trying to sort out my anxiety and depression in other non medical ways, I had to admit that I not doing ok. I've been back on medication for a week now, and today is not a good day, I have no motivation, physically sick, ov... View more

Hiya, So after 8 months of trying to sort out my anxiety and depression in other non medical ways, I had to admit that I not doing ok. I've been back on medication for a week now, and today is not a good day, I have no motivation, physically sick, overwhelmed and I have no interest in anything that makes/made me happy or excited. I see a counselor once a week and shes great, I saw her yesterday. Yesterday was a great day, so productive and positive. Today ... I want to go home and curl up on the couch. Me and my partner have our own business and today is a very busy day so i'm too anxious to ask him if I can go home, i'm also to anxious to drive. The anxiety along with IBS and some other illnesses has brought on some pretty gnarly depression. What does everyone else do to cope on days like today???

Its so hard

replies: 6

I feel like my heart is broken. I never thought it would hurt this much to lose a friend, and by lose I mean she just stopped talking to me. She was my absolute best friend, she meant the world to me and she knew that. Now she is ignoring my messages... View more

I feel like my heart is broken. I never thought it would hurt this much to lose a friend, and by lose I mean she just stopped talking to me. She was my absolute best friend, she meant the world to me and she knew that. Now she is ignoring my messages and wont respond to me, im trying so hard to hold on but I never thought it would be this hard. I havent stopped crying for a week, I never cry but the tears wont stop. How do you hold on when the person who means so much to you wont talk to you? Why did this happen? Im so overly confused and hurt. The depression has snuck back in so bad that I feel like my body is heavy and I can't move, like I am paralysed lying on my bed unable to move or speak. It hurts. Im seeing my psych tomorrow, and I hope she can help me understand this. Im finding it harder to hold on, and I feel selfish and inconsiderate that my other very best and close friends are trying to get me through it but I cant listen to them, or its as if I cant hear what they are saying because all I want to do is escape. I either sleep too much, or dont sleep at all. Shower twice a day or dont shower for a week and there is no inbetween. I thought I was mostly on top of these mental illnesses, but I guess its not that simple. Does anyone have any kind words?

Anxiety & Panic

replies: 3

Hey guys I'm new here.I have never had a problem with anxiety in my life until a few months ago. I was really enjoying the last 2 years of my life as i was studying what i wanted to study and just having fun in general.It started a few months ago, i ... View more

Hey guys I'm new here.I have never had a problem with anxiety in my life until a few months ago. I was really enjoying the last 2 years of my life as i was studying what i wanted to study and just having fun in general.It started a few months ago, i was just on the computer and i had some neck pain that traveled down to my sternum and spread across my chest, then all of a sudden i began to get really hot and sweaty, heart was racing, couldn't breathe and i felt like i was passing out without actually passing out. I went to hospital that night because i really thought something wasn't right. All the tests i had came back fine.Since then i have had reoccurring symptoms, it started with not being able to breathe sometimes then it just progressed to full blown panic attacks. I went to my doctor and he said he thought it was anxiety, so he put me on medication. Well i was on it for a week and it was the worst week i have ever experienced. Severe depersonalisation/derealisation, felt like i couldn't move, strange thoughts and fear off losing control and hurting someone. I stopped it after a week and I've been off it for about 2-3 weeks. I felt great when i stopped it, didn't have any panic attacks and didn't feel very anxious at all for about 2 weeks, suddenly its slowly making its way back in.My symptoms now are only difficulties breathing, every now and again, but last night i had reoccurring thoughts that i was losing control and was going to hurt someone. Now obviously at the time it was distressing but i know i would never do something like that and its just the anxiety making me fear losing control of myself. I know i have anxiety and i know that nothing is going to happen to me, I'm not going to die or go crazy but its so hard to keep all these symptoms at bay. Nothing triggers off the symptoms, there is no pattern it just happens randomly.I just find it so stressful that all this started from that one night when i was on my computer. I don't know what happened then or what caused me to panic (because I've never done it in my life) so its really irritating that i feel like my life is now being controlled by this anxiety. Trying to go and see a psychologist but the earliest time to make an appointment was in two months (have a month left now).At the moment I'm not taking any medication because i feel like it will just mask the symptoms and not fix the root of the problem. beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Destructive effects of depression and dependency

replies: 2

Beyond Blue claim that the most common reasons for a person developing depression are: Loneliness (tick), Bullying (tick), Low self esteem(tick), and many more. Although many things have caused me to develop this mental illness, the effects of it hav... View more

Beyond Blue claim that the most common reasons for a person developing depression are: Loneliness (tick), Bullying (tick), Low self esteem(tick), and many more. Although many things have caused me to develop this mental illness, the effects of it have been far more destructive. Despite the constant suicidal thoughts and the constant self harm that has been going on for a large portion of my life, the most heart breaking thing to come of my life is the damage that has been done to my boyfriend's heart, mind and soul. We began our relationship in May 2012, and although I had already been experiencing the signs of depression, he made me feel liberate of the loneliness and pain, until then I began to act so free that I did not control how I acted towards him and how my actions affected him. For 2 years I constantly invaded his life with my issues, my problems, and made his life non-existent of his hobbies, his passions and his interests. Being diagnosed with Dysthmia made me have more of an excuse to allow my behaviour to be acceptable. As time went on, I developed an obsession with the attention that he gave me, that I did not experience at home with my family. I forced him to put his life on hold as he was constantly worrying about my state of mind, but most of all, my safety and wellbeing. By the time I realised my effect on him, it was too late. I had caused him to start failing his uni course subjects and not experience freedom from negativity for months on end. After one night of me calling him at midnight due to my breakdowns, we had to let each other go. We are currently on a break which will last about 3 and a half months (until his uni semester is over). We are not allowed to text and we can only meet up once a week for dinner. It has only been a week but it has been excruciating for me. This dependency that I have developed for him has taken over my life and I am feeling anxious, distraught and alone. Despite the amazing support my parents provide, I feel it is insufficient because I need the feeling of someone who is inlove with me, not just loves me. It has caused me to over think and led to me wondering: Will this time without me cause him to realise he doesn't need me? How does he expect us to just go back to normal once uni semester is over? How am I suppose to act like I'm okay when in order for me to be okay I need to be with him? How do you let someone you love go to allow them to heal and find them self again and enable yourself to heal?

Barely staying afloat

replies: 3

I have been doing great for the past few years. Then I found out that someone I knew from high school was on MH17. I was never particularly close to him, I don't know if I could even call him a friend - but we smiled at each other when passing by, an... View more

I have been doing great for the past few years. Then I found out that someone I knew from high school was on MH17. I was never particularly close to him, I don't know if I could even call him a friend - but we smiled at each other when passing by, and occasionally share jokes with mutual friends were around. He was so kind. The student environment in that school was awful, and when you're the social pariah you tend to greatly appreciate every kindness. But ever since I accidentally caught the graphic pictures of the scene on the news, I can't help but picture what it must have been like, over and over again, his body, maybe parts of, falling through the sky and scattering in the most horrific manner. He was so young too, younger than me, and the realisation that life can end so abruptly was shattering. I've since developed a fear of being in close proximity to speeding objects somewhat. I have to be at least 2m away from the train platform and I have to hold on to the traffic light pole at crossings, just in case I might accidentally walk into it. I just realised this today, and it made me feel so much more pathetic. My parents were open to me about financial matters at what I now think was maybe a too-young age; now that I'm studying in this country, my parents paying three times as much as the local tuition fees, I can't even think about the postgraduate they are telling me to take. My siblings don't seem as privy, and I nearly cried when one of them wasted an unthinkable amount of non-refundable money. My parents don't even know about the one person who is so selflessly and unconditionally helping me through this. Such a beautiful man, and I owe him so, so much, but he isn't the correct religion for someone they can accept my spending the rest of my life with. I wish I could introduce him to them, I wish they could see just how wonderful a human being he is, helping me through the stress-induced, extremely vivid nightmares I have often now, and through the realer ones, without a single thought. Maybe worst of all, I don't feel like my feelings are justified, and I feel guilty for being so self-centred about it. I will never consider suicide, because to me that is the most self-centred action of all. But it's horrible. And it hurts so much. I'm sinking into familiar murky waters, but now it feels much more like quicksand. In the past two times, the days never ended, but now the world is spinning too fast and I can't keep up. I feel so hopeless.

finding it hard

replies: 2

Hello, I have posted once before about dealing with something that happened around 9 months ago, on my own. I have been having nightmares a lot, I haven't really been getting any sleep, so it's started to stress me out and I am now being sick during ... View more

Hello, I have posted once before about dealing with something that happened around 9 months ago, on my own. I have been having nightmares a lot, I haven't really been getting any sleep, so it's started to stress me out and I am now being sick during the day making things even worse. The people around me are starting to notice a little more and it's really worrying me. I have been thinking about ending my life. It's really horrible thinking about ending my own life. I am 17 at the moment so I'm living at home and I'm finding it really hard to be around my family. There are other issues going on so they are little distracted which makes it easier, I feel bad though because I've been getting really short and angry with them for no reason. I honestly hate myself so much and i don't see a future for myself at all. I just can' t cope with these thoughts and not sleeping or eating properly anymore, and I'm worried I might do something I will regret. But I' m too scared and nervous to get help and tell my doctor or anyone about what's been going on. Does anyone have any tips on how they have dealt with talking about something for the first time, or even just doing something you really don't want to do?beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

I need some advice

replies: 22

Okay, so I don't know where to start but I'm just going to get straight to the point.. I've been struggling for about 6 months now and it's getting to the point where I know this isn't just a phase. Everything has gotten so much worse lately and I ho... View more

Okay, so I don't know where to start but I'm just going to get straight to the point.. I've been struggling for about 6 months now and it's getting to the point where I know this isn't just a phase. Everything has gotten so much worse lately and I honestly think I have depression. My grades have dropped tremendously, I've shut off from everyone and pushed them away, I've lost so much weight, I keep waking up at around 2-3am every morning, I do have thoughts about serious things. My birthdate isn't real and I am under 18. I'm not attention seeking. I really, really need help. But I don't think anyone will take me seriously if my birthdate was real. I honestly think I have depression. I know what I'm feeling and this isn't right and this isn't just a phase. I cannot tell my parents, I'm not saying this because I don't want to. It's because I CANT. I've tried explaining it to my mum and she gets really angry and says "I'm going to shut down your world if you continue with this silly behavior." I NEED HELP. My grandmother died 10 months ago and we had a really close bond, I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it. And my dad has had depression for 7 years now. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with genetics either but I REALLY NEED SOME ADVICE. I can't keep doing this, I think I have depression and I don't want to do this anymore, please, I'm begging for advice.beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Help, Am I Depressed?

replies: 5

Hi, um just to get started I'm amber and I'm 17 and I'm not sure if I'm depressed or not. So in my life I've gone through quite a bit when I was young my mum used to hit me well abuse i guess, it wasn't constant but yeah then my mum ended up going to... View more

Hi, um just to get started I'm amber and I'm 17 and I'm not sure if I'm depressed or not. So in my life I've gone through quite a bit when I was young my mum used to hit me well abuse i guess, it wasn't constant but yeah then my mum ended up going to rehab because she was an alcoholic and I now live with my dad and a lot of other stuff happened etc. When I was around 15 I started feeling sad quite a lot, like crying myself to sleep almost every night etc a big thing did happen at that time though, me and my best-friend of 9 years broke off our friendship which was really devastating, then it went away for awhile and I thought I was okay, then when I was 16 I became very sad to the point where I started self-harming and I've had suicidal thoughts and things, but it comes and goes, like one week I'll be fine and the next I'm an emotional wreck. Currently at the moment I am 3 months free of self-harm but I'm really struggling. I get thoughts that none of my friends like me, that no one cares about me, that I'm a failure and I won't succeed in life, I'm very negative towards myself, I feel very angry and irritated and I lash out at people, I'm finding it very hard to want to put effort into my school work and haven't had a great sleeping pattern but I haven't lost interest in stuff I like to do, well I have a little and I still like to hang out with my friends. I just constantly never feel properly happy. It may be partially because I'm in year 12 and school is very stressful and that isn't helpful but yeah. I'm tired all the time and sometimes I feel really empty like I just don't feel like crying or anything even when I'm really sad, and I feel like I can't tell anyone. 2 of my friends and my boyfriend know I have self-harmed but I really don't want to put my problems on them. I did the test before and got in the high zone and I wasn't over the top with my answers. Would anyone please just be able to tell me if they think I have depression, your opinions would be appreciated greatly

New to this…my first post

replies: 3

Hi, I don't really know how to begin. I am new to this online forum. The last few months have been basically terrible. My therapist believes my depression has been "hiding" or not as prominent over the last couple of years, until the last few months.... View more

Hi, I don't really know how to begin. I am new to this online forum. The last few months have been basically terrible. My therapist believes my depression has been "hiding" or not as prominent over the last couple of years, until the last few months. All i know is i think back to when i was a young teen (i'm now 24), and i was so happy, full of life, bubbly, outgoing, confident, and just loved life in general. Now i think - who the hell am i anymore? I don't even recognise myself. I went from being 60 something kilos to 120 kilos, then back down to 85kg, and now back up to 120kg in the space of 2 years. I feel like this post itself makes no sense. I am lying in bed just feeling alone and like i want to talk to someone, but i also just want to go to sleep. I've been on antidepressants for about 3 months now, and see a psychologist every 2 weeks. I've only seen her three times so far as my doctor put me on a "mental health care plan". I have days where i feel positive (and by positive i mean, i can pull myself out of bed and put a smile on at work for most of the day), but i have been mostly having days where i just feel numb and despite not crying constantly like i did before the antidepressants, i still feel empty. I have no motivation to exercise. I've begun hibernating, and just want to stay at home, watch movies, sleep and eat. I go to work yet i feel no energy, and i don't want to talk to anyone. My anxiety has been bad lately too. I avoid going out in public unless i'm with someone i'm comfortable with like my mum or my dad or brother or a close friend. If i have to stop in somewhere on the way home from work, i calculate in my head which shop will be the most quiet, to avoid as many people as possible. I just don't understand it. I want to find the light at the end of the tunnel. I just don't know how long that'll take. I want to start my career, lose weight, meet someone, have a family, get a house, i want to do all of these things. Yet i think to myself - when will i get through this? When will my life begin again and when will i be happy? I'm so scared i'm not making enough progress. I don't know where i should be after 3 months of medication. I don't know what to expect. When people find out i'm on antidepressants, people that have known me for years, they laugh at me. They think i'm kidding. Yet they have no clue how i feel on the inside every day. Like i want to run away and start over. They have no clue.

Pinned discussions

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

All discussions

I need help!

replies: 7

New and struggling

replies: 5

Its so hard

replies: 6

Anxiety & Panic

replies: 3

Destructive effects of depression and dependency

replies: 2

Barely staying afloat

replies: 3

finding it hard

replies: 2

I need some advice

replies: 22

Help, Am I Depressed?

replies: 5

New to this…my first post

replies: 3

Young people

New to this Forum? Please read this first! replies: 0

I need help! replies: 7

New and struggling replies: 5

Its so hard replies: 6

Anxiety & Panic replies: 3

Destructive effects of depression and dependency replies: 2

Barely staying afloat replies: 3

finding it hard replies: 2

I need some advice replies: 22

Help, Am I Depressed? replies: 5

New to this…my first post replies: 3

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

I need help!

replies: 7

New and struggling

replies: 5

Its so hard

replies: 6

Anxiety & Panic

replies: 3

Destructive effects of depression and dependency

replies: 2

Barely staying afloat

replies: 3

finding it hard

replies: 2

I need some advice

replies: 22

Help, Am I Depressed?

replies: 5

New to this…my first post

replies: 3