i can't cope anymore

[cpater01]

I have been abused at home and due to that I have been having a lot of trouble at school at home. I think have depressionI have been abused at home a lot and have been screamed at, sworn at. Hit a couple of times, teased and told I am worthless. Hen this happens I get

very upset and depressed and cry and scream at myself and blame everything

on myself. At school since I am so depressed, I have been wagging or

missing classes and have been failing all test and have gotten bad grades

because of what's happening at home. When I wag I go to my secret hide out

where I feel safe and calm. I haven't got caught yet but I think I will

get caught one day. Sometimes during class I go to the toilet to calm down

instead of staying in class and take it out on other people or teachers. A

couple of nights ago I tried self harm and found relief. I have done

it twice but am trying not to do it again since every time I am sad and

depressed that's all I think about. My home group teacher only knows about

the screaming and the swearing and hitting. She doesn't know about the self harm the wagging and bad grades and how I don't do my work in

class all I think about is self harm how do I tell her. I can't copeanymore. I'm not sure I want to commit suicide but all I know is I think I have depression. I don't know whether self harming is right or wrong

beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

[--Danny--]

Hey mate, do u wanna have a chat with me? I might be able to cheer u up 

[cpater01]

Sure

[--Danny--]

Please don't harm yourself, it wont do u anygood..I will be here for u...tell me what ever u want to..

[geoff]

dear Cpater, I'm not sure whether your a male or a female, but yes you do have depression and it seems as though it's been in you for a long time.

I presume that you are an adolescent and to be abused is always a disgusting act, and unfortunately there are a lot of people on this site who have encountered this terrible and gutless act by someone who thinks they are entitled to do what ever they want, so what this means is that it has to stop to not only you but to anyone else who is reading this.

By doing any self harm is only going to leave you with scars, and this will be an awful sight for yourself later on in your life, and you will be asked many questions, especially when you do find a boy/girlfriend.

I do know that scars do disappear but that's over time.

What I would suggest you do is to write down on a piece of paper and tell your teacher not everything at the moment, because that can be discussed later on, when you feel comfortable talking to your her/him, but it is a good idea to do this, because at the moment you really need some help.

Hopefully then they will be able to assist you and direct you to a professional psych, although they may need your parents thoughts on this, but if they have been abusing you then they will be able to bypass your parents and maybe contact an auntie/uncle or some other family member.

I hope that you can reply back to us. Geoff.

[Neil_1]

Hi cpater

Welcome to Beyond Blue – and thank you so much for providing your post.  It’s filled with intense messages of concern and big issues for you.

Just to help a number of us on here, to better assist you, I would really like to ask a few questions – just so we can be better informed, so we can hopefully provide you with some useful advice for you.

Firstly, how old are you AND when you say you’re experiencing this kind of trouble at home – is that still happening and is it by your parents?

As you can imagine, this is NOT good and if we can, we’ll try our best to help you out with this.  And as a result of this, I am not surprised in the least that you are finding school very difficult.

But the self-harming, while it can be a release of sorts, is not the way to go.  But we can address that a bit later – I’m very concerned about what’s happening to you at home in this first instance.

Now, you mentioned that your home group teacher knows of the screaming, swearing and “hitting” (you’re also being physically abused at home??). 

Cpater, I don’t know what your home group teacher has suggested for you to do – but something needs to happen here and fast.  I mean, NOW.  You can’t keep experiencing these kinds of treatments in your home. 

Do you have a friend, where you could possibly go to and stay;   or another relative?

I’m sorry, I have asked a lot of questions.

Please please write back soon.

Kind regards

Neil

But I'm very concerned about where you're currently at - and what you're experiencing.  This is a very positive and courageous step you've taken to post here.

[cpater01]

Hi I am 14 and yes it is still happening right now

I could possibly stay with a friend too

[cpater01]

Just letting you know I am a 14yr old female

[Neil_1]

Hi cpater

Again, thank you so much for coming here and reaching out.

I'm really concerned for you.   Can you possibly think of someone (adult) who you trust enough to talk too?    Or possibly, how you said you could possibly stay at a friend's place?

Although if you were to do that, would that cause you to be 'in trouble' at home?  I sure wouldn't want that to happen.

Do you have any older brothers or sisters?

I hope that others will come on with advice soon - but cpater, if you're as worried and concerned about this as I am, how would you feel about possibly going to the police??  

I'm sorry if I've asked a few questions there - but I do hope you can get back to us here.

Kind regards

Neil

[DaneSaysYay]

hey, im sendin you good vibes. sounds like things r tough and hard at the moment..

you know what i think ,  you have your whole life in front of you, from what i can tell

you r at school, jeez school and your age, theese are tough times for a lot of people.

i had a bad time at school, but school doesnt last forever and this thing called life can throw you some curveballs, it may just get better..

as far as families and the conflict and swearing, these things are common place these days, while not excusing it, stress of modern day life as well as family breakdown relationship problems and other crap make it real hard. happy john and jane over the road say, maty look happy as but really what is going on..

 you need support, yay for rockin up here!  surround yourself with awesome people trained ppl and get support, its way cool to ask for help it means your a winner, that you want to survive that you are making steps to get through this.

i bet you feel real crap frustrated and sad, but hey just focus on the end game! like a tunnel has an ending, in time youll get through it, and youll be stronger.

hey but please look after yrself and in time things will get better ey, it may take time butif you get there you will be a true champ and have something a lot of people dont have, focus compassion for others and the inner strength to do some amazing things..