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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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Jess2311 New to this…my first post
  • replies: 3

Hi, I don't really know how to begin. I am new to this online forum. The last few months have been basically terrible. My therapist believes my depression has been "hiding" or not as prominent over the last couple of years, until the last few months.... View more

Hi, I don't really know how to begin. I am new to this online forum. The last few months have been basically terrible. My therapist believes my depression has been "hiding" or not as prominent over the last couple of years, until the last few months. All i know is i think back to when i was a young teen (i'm now 24), and i was so happy, full of life, bubbly, outgoing, confident, and just loved life in general. Now i think - who the hell am i anymore? I don't even recognise myself. I went from being 60 something kilos to 120 kilos, then back down to 85kg, and now back up to 120kg in the space of 2 years. I feel like this post itself makes no sense. I am lying in bed just feeling alone and like i want to talk to someone, but i also just want to go to sleep. I've been on antidepressants for about 3 months now, and see a psychologist every 2 weeks. I've only seen her three times so far as my doctor put me on a "mental health care plan". I have days where i feel positive (and by positive i mean, i can pull myself out of bed and put a smile on at work for most of the day), but i have been mostly having days where i just feel numb and despite not crying constantly like i did before the antidepressants, i still feel empty. I have no motivation to exercise. I've begun hibernating, and just want to stay at home, watch movies, sleep and eat. I go to work yet i feel no energy, and i don't want to talk to anyone. My anxiety has been bad lately too. I avoid going out in public unless i'm with someone i'm comfortable with like my mum or my dad or brother or a close friend. If i have to stop in somewhere on the way home from work, i calculate in my head which shop will be the most quiet, to avoid as many people as possible. I just don't understand it. I want to find the light at the end of the tunnel. I just don't know how long that'll take. I want to start my career, lose weight, meet someone, have a family, get a house, i want to do all of these things. Yet i think to myself - when will i get through this? When will my life begin again and when will i be happy? I'm so scared i'm not making enough progress. I don't know where i should be after 3 months of medication. I don't know what to expect. When people find out i'm on antidepressants, people that have known me for years, they laugh at me. They think i'm kidding. Yet they have no clue how i feel on the inside every day. Like i want to run away and start over. They have no clue.

aidjm How do you know that you're doing enough?
  • replies: 2

I'm always struggling with this question. I never quite feel like I've done enough during the day, or to help myself in general. I'm living at home with my parents again, so I'm not doing as much as previously (I got through a single semester of univ... View more

I'm always struggling with this question. I never quite feel like I've done enough during the day, or to help myself in general. I'm living at home with my parents again, so I'm not doing as much as previously (I got through a single semester of university a few months ago). I've been doing things like looking for jobs, regular exercise, driving in order to get my license, etc., but these things never quite feel like enough. I discovered with my therapist yesterday that I'm a bit of a black and white thinker. I feel heavily guilty and ashamed if I make a mistake, or get sidetracked from my to-do list, and I start berating myself. On top of that, I feel like I'm not doing enough to heal my depression/anxiety: I keep thinking that I "should be getting somewhere by now," or I "should know that," or "be working on that," etc. There's always steps that I feel I need to be taking, and I become afraid that I'm slacking off. Sometimes I wonder how much of my worries are just me being a black-and-white perfectionist and how much are telling me that I actually do need to do more. How would I know for sure when I genuinely need to move forward or when I'm just being hard on myself? Does anyone else feel similar? Do you guys have any ways of knowing that you're doing enough?

tk22 personal feelingss.
  • replies: 2

hey, so um. i dont really know what to do anymore, with school. I just cant learn and focus, i dont know why but its really getting to me. and i just feel like all of the teachers hate me and every time i walk through the school gates i feel so alone... View more

hey, so um. i dont really know what to do anymore, with school. I just cant learn and focus, i dont know why but its really getting to me. and i just feel like all of the teachers hate me and every time i walk through the school gates i feel so alone. and to top it off im losing like all of my friends and oh my gosh. it hurts and it sucks.

Jackson93 Hey
  • replies: 2

Hey Everyone, My name is Jackson and i am currently 20. I am finding that i am starting to struggle more and more with day to day events. I seem to think negatively about most situations, I feel guilty/sad for no reason and recently out of the blue f... View more

Hey Everyone, My name is Jackson and i am currently 20. I am finding that i am starting to struggle more and more with day to day events. I seem to think negatively about most situations, I feel guilty/sad for no reason and recently out of the blue felt like collapsing to the floor and just bursting into tears. I find my biggest issue is that i feel empty inside, I hold no emotion and feel like most of my actions are forced/acted. I often feel my actions are impulsive and i regret a lot of my decisions and think very negatively about myself because of this. I had a pretty rough childhood and feel that is where a lot of my issues originate from. I have been in a relationship for close to 15 months and have reached a point where i struggle to return "I love you's". It feels stupid to say so, I am just struggling and feel nothing. She has a beautiful heart and I am finding that i am beginning to have no patience for her and most my thoughts are just negative. I have started to consider it might be time to move on, at the same time i know that i am struggling more and more with these sensations. I assume it is Depression and I don't want to make the wrong decisions, it's apart of life and I understand that... The point of this thread is... I don't know what to do or where to go. I am unsure of the right/wrong choice and where to begin. This is my first time reaching out for help, i am just over struggling. If anybody could recommend the right choices and where to take the first step forward, your help would be more than appreciated. Thank you for your time.

Mollyleah Going through this alone
  • replies: 8

Hello, I'm new to this so I'm not sure how to start this. Around 9 months ago I was sexually assaulted, and I didn't tell anyone around me what happened. I still have no idea what to do, I try my hardest to go to work and pretend to be happy at home.... View more

Hello, I'm new to this so I'm not sure how to start this. Around 9 months ago I was sexually assaulted, and I didn't tell anyone around me what happened. I still have no idea what to do, I try my hardest to go to work and pretend to be happy at home. But its really exhausting. I havent been sleeping much because I have nightmares when i do. They are really horrifying i wake up and i cant move. When I'm awake I feel nervous, and try to stay away from everyone. I hate feeling alone but I don't want to be around anyone. I'm to scared to talk about what happened because it's so embarrassing and horrible to talk about and I hate admitting that it happened. I was angry for so long, but now I'm just sad and confused and tired. I don't want to go to work any more or do anything with friends or family. I really don't want to feel scared any more, I have changed so much and i hate myself so much. I want to be happy again, but I have no idea how to start. So does anyone have any tips on dealing with these types of things on your own?

Little_Rascal Physical
  • replies: 5

Does anyone know why depression hurts so much physically? It hurts to smile in front of customers, my body aches and in conjunction my IBS is much worse and now I have developed a food phobia for the second time

Does anyone know why depression hurts so much physically? It hurts to smile in front of customers, my body aches and in conjunction my IBS is much worse and now I have developed a food phobia for the second time

Cassie_Ellen Empty inside
  • replies: 3

Hey everyone, Im 17 years old and currently studying year 12 at school. I have suffered from depression and anxiety since i was 8. I have been on medication and had therapy. Lately i feel like everything is starting to consume me again, i can hardly ... View more

Hey everyone, Im 17 years old and currently studying year 12 at school. I have suffered from depression and anxiety since i was 8. I have been on medication and had therapy. Lately i feel like everything is starting to consume me again, i can hardly get through a day without my depression getting the better of me. I used to self harm and i am trying my hardest not to come to this again. I feel like i have no one to support me, none of my friends or my boyfriend understands. Im really just after some support, friends, or just some words to help get me through the day. Thankyou all.

tsubasa is it me?
  • replies: 2

being raised by my sister since i was 8. in time i also live with the others big brothers and sis since i'm the youngest. and every times i felt i am a burden to them. i don't speak much. i don't cry much. people always say that i'm a heartless perso... View more

being raised by my sister since i was 8. in time i also live with the others big brothers and sis since i'm the youngest. and every times i felt i am a burden to them. i don't speak much. i don't cry much. people always say that i'm a heartless person, spoil. my mother died when i was 8 and my dad died when i was 19. after my mom died i felt like nothing left of me. even I've been raised with my sister, i don't feel like i should be here. my sis married and have 2 daughters and 2 sons, her eldest daughter is the same age with me. we're not that closed. where ever i go even it is my others bro and sis's house, they never like a home to me. for me to complain and to ask something always make me think that stop being ungrateful. then i kept everything inside me. and yet,hearing their laughing make me lonely and leftout. i have a boyfriend but myself keep rejecting everything..i feel there's a hole inside me that won't fill in no matter how much i want it. sometimes i'm tired of being alone even there are people around. i hate family gathering because it makes me feel more alone and my family keeps praising and talking about my same age niece. she such a family jewel, pride. i felt so much jealousy inside. but i thought i don't care. then again i said to my self well i'm nobody. sometimes i want to give up and go away. i tried to talk but it's no use, nothing change. i'm getting worse. is it me again? make myself suffering? well i hope someday, i can get out from this cage...........

freemefrommydemons Weekends
  • replies: 2

I lasted almost the whole weekend without a drink! I am slowly getting there. Crashing hard tonight, I just need to see my psych on Tuesday. Hopefully I can force myself to go to uni tomorrow. *Sigh

I lasted almost the whole weekend without a drink! I am slowly getting there. Crashing hard tonight, I just need to see my psych on Tuesday. Hopefully I can force myself to go to uni tomorrow. *Sigh

Sora Depression and anorexia
  • replies: 2

Hi there to anyone who reads this I myself have had anorexia for 6 years and depression for 5 years I have received treatment for my ED before but my BMI is currently under 14 and so I am not able to return to the only free ED program in my area. I d... View more

Hi there to anyone who reads this I myself have had anorexia for 6 years and depression for 5 years I have received treatment for my ED before but my BMI is currently under 14 and so I am not able to return to the only free ED program in my area. I do not have private health insurance either. My day is often struggled because I want to stay in bed or do nothing but because of the ED I force myself up and to continually pace all day which makes me feel incredibly misrable. I live with my mother in a small unit which I HATE because there is no space for myself to be alone which I actually enjoy and worst of all I have no garden, we recently had to downsize from a house with large yard and garden which I loved to be in everyday and now we are here with a tiny patch of dirt that receives no sunlight and even if it did I couldn't plant more then 4 things :(. my mother also sufferers from mental illness including depression herself. Too weak to work even though I would love too. My main hobby besides gardening is lego but with no income it's not something I can really afford to do often. I just wanted to share my story somewhere. Thank you

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