Difficulty with empathy and sympathy

[Artastic55]

Hello again. I came to make another post here in wonders of what others suffer the same as I do in which refers to the title. I should point out that I'm diagnosed with ADD and OCD in case this has something to do with those.

I find it extremely difficult to feel bad or upset for someone. I could watch my friend cry and all I could really feel is "oh okay" and I'll still try to help them, even though I just don't feel bad for them or anything. It's the same on most things with empathy; it's just too hard to feel anything for others.

A good example of this is that my friend with depression and PTSD went on about some things that we were talking about in her life; I just couldn't feel anything towards it other than "oh okay"

I want to feel empathy and sympathy for others but I really just can't. I should also point out that I can't I'm not alike sociopath or psychopath.

I also might bring this up but I can't make eye contact with people. I just can't look and I have to look away, it just gets weird and awkward if I do and I really think I should be looking at people.

What do you think might be the reason and do you suffer through the same fate as I?

Have a nice day!

[MsPurple]

HI Artastic55 and thanks for sharing your story on the forums. It can be hard opening up on the forums and asking for advice.

I just want to let you know I am not a professional, I am a peer, so I can not diagnose or say what it maybe. The best way to figure out is to discuss it with your dr. I had all these feelings and emotions and I didn't know what they were and I found out by asking my dr (who referred me to a psych who diagnosed me with GAD. I was having vivid dreams and intrusive thoughts and I didn't know what it was). Although some people don't like diagnosis, it can be good to understand what is happening. Once I found out what an intrusive thought was then I could finally understand what was happening.

I also want to let you know the whole struggling with eye contact thing can be a sign of anxiety. I discussed this with my doctor and he said when someone is anxious it can be harder to look someone in the eye as well as concentrate and other signs like fidgeting. Also if it feels you feel any better I don't think a sociopath wants to feel empathy, and you have the desire to feel it.

Hope this helps. Trust me you are not alone with not feeling empathy and I know a lot of other forum users struggle with this as well.

MP

[Artastic55]

It's good to know some people feel the same as I. Your reply really sums up most of my social interactions with the lack of eye contact and fidgeting. I often end up grinding up so much paper in my pockets.

Thank you so much for your reply.

[geoff]

hello Artastic, an excellent reply from MP and she is so correct especially with lack of eye contact.
It may not be so much as 'extremely difficult to feel bad or upset for someone' but it could be that something in past that happened where you tried to be sympathetic to someone close but what you said made no difference to how they felt, so now you just block yourself off, and by having OCD then this is possibly going to continue until you are trained otherwise.
Remember with this illness it's something we have to keep doing unless it can be replaced by another habit, and this has happened with me over the years I've had it.
By looking away disassociates you from the other person, it breaks any connection you have with them because no eye contact means they are just like talking to a wall, but also means that you don't want to pay any attention to them because of a previous event.
This is all it takes when you have OCD to begin a certain pattern which you have to keep up, because if you break it then you'll become more anxious. Geoff.