Depressive thoughts triggered after starting back at Uni

[talklp]

I need to get this off my chest before going about my day.

My gf (20) and I (21) broke up at the end of last year (3 year relationship). Although not being the 'cause' of my depression, it certainly didn't help me get out of the rut I was currently in. Through posting on here and some time off and away, the thoughts and need for her, as well as my overall mental health, seemed to be better. I still think about her everyday, but there isn't as much contact between us and I was beginning to come to terms with it all. There is a lot more to all of this 'story' in my life but I will skim over it to where I am today.

I go to the same Uni has her still, and last semester we had no classes together so I did not see her much, which helped keep her out of my mind enough to do work and be okay in general. However, I am in class with her this semester. It does not seem like a big deal on the surface level, because we are generally on good terms and still chat as friends etc.
But today it really got at me and has all these previous emotions resurfacing. We were talking before the lecture, and it just got me thinking about how much things have changed, and how she is sort of the only person in my course that I am comfortable enough to talk to. She has a lot of friends at uni, so when they came in I was sort of brushed aside. She does not do this intentionally, and she is more supportive than most. But I know she feels weird about it all.
It's sad because she used to be a big part of my life during uni time. Lunches. staying over after classes etc.
I'm sort of just interested to see how this semester will play out. I managed last semester well not having her there or seeing each other because I never saw her. But this semester, having her there is just a constant reminder that things are not the same. It is only first class, but I think I just needed to collect my thoughts before I dwell on it too much and it tears me up.

[white knight]

Hi

Its uncomfortable to have your mind in an indecisive place semi uncontrollable. In such situations of emotional tug of war I tend to go with logic. In your case are you ignoring why you both split last year?

Love lingers on. Sometimes that love only drifts when we find love elsewhere. But if she hasnt shown any interest of reuniting I'd say its over. You could ask her so its off your chest if you prefer.

The nostalgia of a past love hurts. In class with her wont be easy. But life is like that all your life where difficult situations need to be tackled and we have to overcome.

Good luck.

Tony WK

[geoff]

hello Talklp, it can never be easy being in the same class as she is in, because all your memories and thoughts will be rushing through your mind on a constant basis, and feeling very uncomfortable when she starts talking with other guys, so this is going to make you become disinterested in wanting to attend that particular class as well as that subject.
I wonder whether there is another class at a different time where you won't be able to see her, because if you still keep going to the one where she is in, isn't going to easy for you, because all your thoughts are going to be about her.
If possible you need to change to maybe to a night time class or perhaps you may decide to defer and pick up a casual job, because the odds of you losing interest in what you are studying could be quite high because of her, and that's very possible, however these are other options to consider.
I somehow feel as though she still has a spot for you as 'she is more supportive than most other people' and also feels weird about it all happening, so to make certain do you want to discuss this with her again and does she know that you are suffering from depression.
There is more to be discussed between us, but I'd like to hear back from you. Geoff.