Cost of Living + Mental Health + Why Even Bother

[MaddyK22]

I am 23 trying to move out of home. I was pretty content living with my dad and brother until dad had too much to drink and put me in a position where I felt I would be physically harmed(verbally threatening it). Since then I have looked into how much it would be for me to move out and I'm feeling so defeated.
I work tues-fri (childcare). I also study but I also take mondays off because I feel like it has been the most beneficial thing I've done for my mental health in years.  I used to be a chef so I know what long hours/days are like and I don't know if I could go back to it, it almost did me in(could have been the environment as well but the hours didn't help). After adding all my main bills together eg, phone, car Rego/insurance, fuel, storage unit fees, Zip Repayments and ideal rent, I don't have much left. I haven't even calculated food into my cost! Not to mention the only rentals that seem to be available are share house rooms which is not cheap as well! I know beggars cant be chooses but is this really what life is now? I am unable to have my own space? I have to live paycheck to paycheck, barely making enough to even think about having a savings? 
I already struggle with finding reasons to keep pushing but if my whole adult life I have to also continue to struggle to make it by, I really can not see a point to it all. I just wanted to be hopeful for my future for once but I generally just cannot even afford to live. 

[Sophie_M]

Hey Guest_75348719,

Thank you for sharing this here. It sounds like it’s a really difficult time for you, mentally and financially. 

We’re sorry to hear you’ve been dealing with abuse at home. No one should speak to you like this, or make you feel this way. It’s not ok, and you deserve so much better than that. We've checked in with you privately. If you'd like to have a chat with one of the lovely people at 1800Respect to discuss this, they're on 1800 737 732, or you can reach them on online chat, here: https://chat.1800respect.org.au/#/welcome

You can also reach out to the lovely Beyond Blue counsellors any time, on 1300 22 4636, available 24/7, or you can speak to them on webchat as well.  Thanks again for sharing here. We’re sure you’ll hear from some other community members soon. We hope you can be as kind to yourself during this difficult time as you have been in opening up and sharing with the community here, today. Kind regards,  Sophie M