Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Emotional dilemma

replies: 3

Hi everyone. I'm in a bit of an emotional dilemma right now regarding this guy that I'm friends with. We met about seven months ago last year at uni, and it was very obvious right from the get-go that we had feelings for each other. After a couple of weeks we both told each other that we liked each other and we spent more time hanging out at uni together, lots of hugging and kissing, very romantic kinda stuff. However I started to get anxious because it felt like it wasn't really going anywhere beyond that or wasn't gonna turn into an actual relationship, so I asked him where he thought this was progressing and where it would go in the future. His response was that he was actually emotionally confused and in all honesty saw me as a friend, which came as a massive shock to both myself and my friends who had been around the two of us because of everything he'd said to me and the way he'd acted around me up until that point. For the rest of the uni semester I didn't talk to him, but when the four month break started I messaged him and asked if he still wanted to be friends, which he said yes to. Over the uni break we would text pretty much every day, but it made it difficult for me to actually work through my feelings and get over him, but spending time not seeing him in person was definitely beneficial and I was nearly over him. About four weeks ago, we went back to uni and now I have to see him twice a week in lectures. Most of the time he comes and sits with me. My issue used to be wondering if he ever even did have real feelings for me and wasn't just confused like he said, but even my counsellor who I see told me she believes he did have real romantic feelings for me. The issue now is that he's giving me mixed signals- he doesn't really talk to me much outside of uni at all, but in lectures when he sits with me he'll find lots of accidental ways to touch me and leans right up against me when he talks to me, like he's trying to grab my attention. I've also heard from some other girls I met at uni that he's not a super awesome person, but I don't want to probe about what happened between them because it's none of my concern. None of my friends are happy with the mixed signals he's giving me right now, and I'm torn because for the most part I'm over him, but being around him still hurts a little bit sometimes. Should I keep being casual friends with him, or should I cut him off?

Terrified of approaching women in public

replies: 1

Hello all, It's been a while since I've posted on these forums. This would probably also suit the anxiety forum but I decided to post in the youth section since I thought people of my generation might understand my concerns more.Basically, the subject says it all, I'm 22 and have never had a date, I get no traction on dating apps and so my only method is IRL. However, thanks to my studies in criminology, I am hyper-aware that the majority of women don't go out to meet people or anything like that. It's bad enough that I am basically terrified to approach women in public (even in bars or clubs) as I don't want to ruin their night or just be another dude who interrupts them. However, I also know that the majority are not there to hook up or find a date which doesn't help. I have no idea what to do, I should mention I'm 6'3 with a broad intimidating build which doesn't help. I also have basically no self-esteem and don't believe I hold any attractive traits. Kind Regards, Deltius.

Being Ignored / cut off

replies: 8

I have a new group of friends and every time I talk or answer someone’s question I always get cut off or get talked over by someone else and when I try and tell/ show anyone anything everyone ignores me or changes the topic.. they always say to me that they care about me and there not bad people.. but it’s happened all my life.. from Family and Friends doing it and even my partner does it to me and I have no idea how to stop it happening or prevent it.. I keep telling myself that I must be a really non interesting and such a boring person but I need to know is there anything I can do about it?? Or is there any solutions??

a decision on leaving highschool

replies: 1

I haven’t really thought too much about this but I wanted to see if anyone had any advice or opinions It’s quite a privileged problem but I thought this might be helpful. I’m in my final year of year 12, and just a little bit under halfway through but I’m seriously considering leaving (possibly recommending travelling or starting tafe or restarting my final year next year as I skipped a grade earlier on). at the end of yr 10 I got a depression diagnosis with a fun side of panic disorder and for the remainder of that year and all throughout year eleven I began to struggle with school work for the first time. I was pretty irresponsible with my meds and other self medicating, and even though this year I should be in a much better place, having moved away from that situation, it’s sort of worse than ever. I still get good grades and my teachers are constantly begging me to try - but I do, in deadline sense periods I feel like I barely sleep let alone rest. the last few exams I did where abysmal and I keep missing assignment deadlines (the last two were almost by a week). this morning I missed another one and my motivation and focus and frankly ability is going totally down the drain. maybe the system just isn’t compatible for whatever is going on in my brain. At the same time, I really care about education and I love learning. I am lucky enough to go to a pretty academically rigorous priv school, and so I would also be wasting my parents struggle to pay for those fees (but I guess getting worse than I already am + flunking even more would be wasting it too). I guess it might be stupid to give up now, but everything feels insurmountable and I feel like I don’t have care left to do the reading and writing and creating that is actually where I learn most. My diagnosis and meds are all still in the air and iv been constantly switching concoctions, but still no real effect apart from constant fatigue and nausea. Mood-wise I only get those small iotas of serotonin when I’m ignoring school but then it puts me more behind = more freak out! Sorry for the all about me rambling! Hope you all have a nice day!!!

overbooked, preoccupied, burnt out

replies: 2

Hi there, I hope you're all doing well and looking after yourselves Just need a vent, but I welcome advice, and thank you in advance for the time you've given to reading this. I'm turning 20 this year. I work 2 great jobs, I study my passion at uni, I have a little but wonderful social circle including my loving boyfriend, and I'm going on exchange to study in Japan next semester. I have a loving family however complex, I don't pay rent, I bought my own car, and I'm hopefully getting my Ps this week. I'm extremely grateful for all these things. The only thing I lack is time. But I am so exhausted and overworked. Between job 1, job 2, uni, working through the exchange process, preparing for practical placement for my education course, working towards my Ps, and maintaining all my friendships/relationship... A few days a week I wake up for work at 7am, work from 8:30 to 5, then go home to work my second job 6-8. By the time I eat dinner and shower, I am so tired and have no energy to do anything productive, such as my overflowing uni work that I simply cannot keep up with. I know the simple solutions is just "do less" – but I can't afford to. I can't work less hours because I have to fund my exchange, and everything else is simply mandatory. Another simple solution is to stay up later, but I feel like I've reached the age where I cannot physically or mentally function if I'm tired, so I can't help but go to sleep at my usual bedtime every night (11:30pm). It's gotten to a point where I'm just looking for escapes; skipping class to sleep, reading instead of studying, procrastinating with music or browsing or online shopping, always saying yes to social outings to get away from the constant grind, etc. I know people have it way worse than me, and I'm grateful for all these opportunities. The funny thing is, I've struggled with depression since my early teens, but for the first time I haven't felt depressed in a while despite how much I'm struggling. So there's that! I know this post is a big sob story about how privileged I am, but this isn't sustainable and I can't do it and I don't know what to do to fix this. I wish I could just float away to a little cabin in the woods, and read and paint and bake and write.

How can I get into a realtionship?

replies: 2

Hello, I'm a teenager who's currently in grade 11 and I've recently have mixed feelings about my life. last year was a terrible year for me and my family and by the end of the year, I felt depressed and lonely but then I girl came into my life and that all disappeared and for months I had a crush on her but yet didn't know a clue about relationship. I'd never been in a relationship before, and I really felt that she was going be my first, but then, that had changed when I started to get depressed and was only happy when I saw or was with her and was getting worse. So I had confessed my love to her and asked her out, she said that she didn't have the same feeling towards me. Its been two weeks since then, the first week I felt great, It felt like all of my feeling towards this girl had disappeared and suddenly was a lot happier and i realised that not to be rude but she made me so happy that all my happiness and love went to her and made all the things that made me happy just sad and depressing. The second week and now, all I've been seeing is relationship type things and it just made me feel empty, so I talked to a friend who has been through similar to this but it wasn't helpful. And I've been thinking about a lot more, how I would like to be in one but I don't have the knowledge and the experience of relationships.

Should I move back to my old school?

replies: 1

Hi, I'm a Year 9 student who's not too fond of my new schoolSo I recently moved to a private school that was about 30 minutes away by car. Meaning I would wake up really early in order to get ready for school, which was one reason I didn't like it.The second reason was that the school as it turns out was quite racist. I didn't fit in anywhere because a case came up recently where I was called the N-word. I, of course, reported it to the teachers and they gave punishment the student. But now almost everyone in my grade thinks I'm a snitch.The people I do hang out with are as bad because they vape and get into trouble multiple times a day, even trying to invite me into some of their shenanigans.The reason I joined the new school was that my old school had a terrible reputation and there were students in my class that didn't let me work. So when my parents decided on transferring me to a better school jumped at the opportunity.I complained to my mum about the new school to the point where she asked the office if we could switch campuses or get a refund on the schoolNote that this is a very expensive private school with two campusesSo they put on me on a waiting list to switch campuses and gave us a card if we wanted to get a refund.During this stage, she was sick of all my issues so she finally asked me if I wanted to go back to my old school, now that we could possibly get a refund.I didn't want to rush into a decision as I did with the new school so I thought it through with old friends. And as it turned out, the bad people in my old school class had been expelledI don't want to wait to switch campuses because I definitely won't get a spot in the other campus this year and I can't risk going through the same thing I did with this campus. It's safer if I just went back to my old school. It is very cheap, very close to my house, and I know I will be fine with friends because I was friends with almost everyone in my grade. And there are few really good teachers if I needed help with anythingThe reason I don't know if I should go back is that my dad and siblings are not on-board with me going back. They want me to learn to survive in this school and have a good education. But what's the point of a good education if you don't want to go to school every day?

How to have an identity.

replies: 4

So I’m 20 and in all honesty I don’t even know where to start when it comes to being the author of my own story so I suppose I’m looking for advice. For a bit of context I’ve tried all sorts of past times from quite literally being in a circus to attending basket weaving classes. From playing violin to climbing mountains. If you’ve ever heard the song ‘when will my life begin’ from the Disney movie Tangled, that’s pretty much me in a nutshell. All that is good and well, but I haven’t made anything of value out of my experiences. The current situation is: I live alone, I have a carte blanche for a social calendar, I’m ok at my uni course but certainly no deans scholar, I’ve saved a bit of money and I own my car. That’s about it. Of course I’m incredibly privileged to have experienced what I have experienced and to have what I have. I spend a lot of time thinking about how I didn’t deserve any of it because there are people that if they’d had my opportunity would have used it to enrich the world and I’ve sort of just let my experiences be useless. I have no idea who I am or what I’m doing and so would appreciate some guidance if you feel you could impart some wisdom. Sincerely,A scrawny, tired, 20 year old who feels like they’re running out of time to find who they are.

Am I good enough?

replies: 2

So I have struggled with my mental health for years now, i am medicated and seek help from professionals when i can afford it. For the past couple of years i have been struggling with my confidence and whether or not i am good enough. I feel like a fraud, I feel like i always start things and never complete them because i actually know nothing. I know that i have completed somethings but in my head it just doesn't count. I feel like i always prevent myself from doing my best because, i don't know, i am scared of what others will think when i fail? I used to be alright at guitar, but i never gave myself the time because the others were better than i ever was so i didn't play as much, I dropped out of high school in year 11 because i couldn't see myself being capable of finishing, I got halfway through a TAFE course and then stopped because i felt like i was never going to remember anything and that everything i had done up until that point had been fake. I am doing another TAFE course at the moment, mostly to try prove to myself that maybe i can do it, but i get SO much help from my Mum and others around me that i feel like i actually don't know what i am doing and i'm very much unable to complete it without the help of others. (I know help is great, but i hate relying on it). All i want is to be able to believe in myself. i want a career that i love and i want to be/feel capable. I want to feel like the others around me, they are so amazing and confident in their work and life. I want to feel like i have a purpose in life, at the moment i just feel like i don't. Everyone else around me has plans and are working towards their career goals. While i am here going job to job, with no idea what i want to do and no belief that i'll ever be able to achieve anything. I am just not sure what to do at this point. All I think about is this and if I will ever be good enough.

socially dissatisfied and struggling to balance university life

replies: 1

I'm a 20 y/o male and have my whole life ahead of me. Im studying what will lead me to my dream job. I have an amazing and supportive girlfriend. I work 3 jobs, volunteer and am generally active in the community. Yet most days i feel pretty lonely. Im so caught up worrying about the things i have to be doing currently to ensure a successful and happy future, yet I'm not feeling happy in the present. My girlfriend is busy (like me) so we don't get to spend much time together. My best friends live in another city and are not good at texting. Where i currently am, i feel as if i don't have any good friends. Everyone i've met, although they are nice, i don't have a connection with. Most people i meet don't have the same priorities as me. I exercise, drink rarely and am usually focusing on work. The people that are like minded to me, feel like competition. Am i really making good choices if I'm constantly feeling socially dissatisfied? If I'm not then what do i sacrifice? i don't want to lose any opportunities as thats what ive been working so hard for.

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Emotional dilemma replies: 3

Terrified of approaching women in public replies: 1

Being Ignored / cut off replies: 8

a decision on leaving highschool replies: 1

overbooked, preoccupied, burnt out replies: 2

How can I get into a realtionship? replies: 2

Should I move back to my old school? replies: 1

How to have an identity. replies: 4

Am I good enough? replies: 2

socially dissatisfied and struggling to balance university life replies: 1