confusing emotions

[TWLOHA_4_LIFE]

Hey guys

So the past few months I've been on a. Rollercoaster ride with my emotions and to be honest sometimes I have no idea why 😕

Its hard because some days its just I wake up and feel like its not worth getting up, some nights I cry myself to sleep and some days I just want them to and because I've had enough.

I guess some of it stems from seeing families that are happy and see each other a lot where as I see mine once every 6 months if I am lucky 😞

I also have struggled to find work since moving to a new place and many people say I'm just lazy or unwilling to work when to be honest I'd love to have a job just 90% of the places are only after juniors because they are cheaper to hire as I turn 21 this year.

 I guess it all just builds up and hits at times. Sometimes I'm fine other days I don't wanna speak to anyone let alone do anything at all. I talk to my partner about it but he finds some parts hard to understand like the missing my family as he says (it's not like its been years and you speak on the phone)

I guess its easy for him to see it that way as he has all of his family around him.

Thanks for reading and if anyone has anyways to help I guess cope that would be great 

[Polka_Dots]

Hi,

Thank you for being brave and sharing with us. Loneliness is a difficult thing to go through. Do not in any way feel bad about the job situation. Everyone is cutting back funding and spending and it is really hard to get a job. Have you considered trying volunteering? It may lead to other work or even connections to get you other work. But even if it doesn’t you’ll feel like you’ve been useful with yourself and might make new connections while doing it so you feel less lonely.

When you are calm and not upset I would suggest letting your partner know that it is difficult for you and it does hurt when he brushes it off. He might not have been as strongly attached to his family as you are or have been away for them for very long. Perhaps also consider skyping your family on a regular basis. Arrange a time every second day or even every day so you can speak to them. Or even schedule a visit sometime, even if it’s short, so you can have a definite date when know you will see them again and something to look forward to.

Beyond Blue also has free counselling online and telephone services that you can find out about on the website. Or you can also speak to your GP about getting some formal counselling- intimidating but worth it.

Best of luck and let us know how you go 🙂 

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi TWLOHA 4 LIFE,

Thanks for reaching out to BB.

I agree that it might be worth having a chat to someone about what's going for you.  Sometimes it can be really hard for people to understand unless they've really walked in your shoes - and seeing a GP or a therapist is really non-judgemental and can help a lot (I see one too). 

I know how hard it is too feel lonely and how difficult it is when people say you're lazy when in fact your not - but you need to remind yourself that you are doing all the right things.  Sometimes when people aren't working they find that it helps them to keep busy in other ways; like volunteering, doing a short course or some study or spending time networking with people (on Twitter/LinkedIn).  I definately agree that volunteering would be useful as it can really help with feeling lonely as well as boosting your CV = win win.

Sometimes counsellors can give good advice about communicating with your partner too.  He might not understand because he has a different relationship with his family.  I know one thing that helped me was being really direct about what helped and what I needed - like "Hey, I just need a hug right now," or "I just want some space for a few hours and then later we can do something"  Sometimes understanding what you are going through can be hard but that doesn't mean he can't support you and be there for you.

Good luck 🙂

[Narniakid]

Hi TWLOHA 4 LIFE!

Thank you for sharing. I don't really have much else to add, as I think the other comments really sum everything up, however do consider seeking professional help. I suggest keeping a diary or a mood chart, trying something new, and using distractions like reading and watching tv when you're feeling anxious. 

I also suggest sitting down with your partner and going through the resources for anxiety and depression here on the website, and the different treatments, and also have a look at the advice for carers. He wouldn't be brushing things off intentionally, it is more likely because he doesn't know how to react or make you feel better.

I hope you feel better soon! Remember that negative thoughts are just reactions to fear and anxiety thrives on avoidance.

Crystal

[Lori]

Hi TWLOHA 4 LIFE,

 Love your name  🙂 

I am sorry to hear that you are having a hard time with your emotions. It can be so hard sometimes to understand how your feeling and how to cope with tough times, Maybe try to explain to your partner that everyone deals with their emotions differently and you are finding it hard to cope with. 

When it all feels to much maybe try going for a walk to clear your head or something that you enjoy doing that helps take your mind off things. 

With the job hunting, it can be extremely hard to find a job these days and as you have just said, people do prefer the younger people as it is cheaper it really sucks for others though. But don't give up keep applying and hopefully something comes up soon.

I'm sorry that i don't have much to add, but i do hope that you find something that works for you and really helps you. Good luck with the job hunting fingers crossed you hear back from someone soon, but also good luck with the rest i wish you all the best. Stay strong!

- Lori 

[morgs29]

Hi TWLOHA 4 LIFE,

Loneliness can be one of the hardest things we experience, if not the hardest! It sounds like there are lots of emotions you are experiencing right now, and talking about them is perhaps something that is helpful for you.

I would strongly recommend visiting your GP and speaking about some formal counselling, or the online chat function on the BeyondBlue website here is also really helpful. Remember, you are not alone in these feelings you are experiencing. 

Although people around us want to support us and be helpful, they will never completely understand how we feel simply because they are not us - and that's okay. You might also want to check out some of Centrelink's services for finding work if that's something you're interested in.

It takes a lot of courage to reach out, well done.

Take care,