Coming Out

[theslayer101]

Hello everyone,

I'm an 18 year old guy. I'm bisexual (like both guys and girls) and atheist (don't believe in god), but live with pretty religious parents, who don't support LGBT people. I'm planning on coming out later this year, maybe in November. The last year and half has been mentally tough, because it's pretty difficult to live with people who believe completely different things than you do. I'm nervous and a little scared about telling my parents everything, because I don't really know what their reaction will be. They might kick me out, or let me stay but not support me.  I've talked to a school counselor, and am going to go to Headspace and Centrelink too.

I was wondering if anyone here has any advice, that would be welcome 🙂  

 Thanks. 

[white knight]

Hi welcome

Get in place an exit strategy so the "kicking out of you" isn't more painful than just that. eg you don't want to then start searching for a room to rent.

I'm 59yo, married, hetro, etc. If I had  a son/daughter that announced their sexuality to me, whatever that be, I'd embrace them and still love them as I always had.

But, religious people often go the other way.

Whatever you do and how you do it be proud. In your time on this planet walk your walk and talk your talk. Live it how you will to find happiness. And remember, your parents have lived their lives with their beliefs that they have wanted to live by. They have made their choices for themselves. It's your turn now.

If, you are rejected then go through life seeking out friends that will comfort you. Also you can comfort them. That will be a caring supportive life to others and that IMO is just as important than a life of adopting others values.

Good luck.   Tony WK

[_NaturalTalent_]

Hey Slayer,

First of all, don't let yourself feel alone, your not, no matter your beliefs and preferences there are always many people around who will accept it, especially if your not the type to push yourself onto others. Im not saying hide it, obviously, but treat it like something that does NOT matter. Who cares which gender someone is attracted to, seriously, who cares what faith or beliefs someone has?

HATERS! Sorry couldn't help it lol

Real people and people who care about you are never going to tell you your wrong about how you feel... Everybody is different are they not? Isnt it a magical thing that you haven't let anybody oppress you yet? Your being who you want to be and I don't even know you but am proud of you for that!

If your worried about your parents rejecting you, as religious people tend to love their 'god' more than their blood, Get yourself prepared, do some research, everybody knows 'God' never said "Don't be gay or you'll go to hell" So get ready to prove it to them..

If they accept you, even with hesitation, things will only get better for you. If they reject you, and try to kick you out, well then throw the info in front of them, shatter their illusions, tell them to ask their 'god' if what they are doing is right and just, and walk away for awhile. They will come to the realisation that THEY have failed YOU not the other way around.

Confronting someone's beliefs with your own is a difficult task and not only takes but shows true strength! We were all 'put here' to follow our own paths, make our own decisions and lead life as we see fit. Not dedicate ourselves to someone else's wants, needs and beliefs on what is right, all the while being miserable ourselves...

Yeah its a magical thing to make someone else happy but as long as it makes you happy too, its pretty sad that most of us don't see ourselves being hurt over it. Its like being used with no acknowledgement as to what your doing.

I agree with Tony, try to set up a contingency plan, if possible, arrange somewhere to go if all else fails. But do not let yourself feel it is inevitable, hopefully your parents will accept you and come through for you with support. They may not agree with your choices and that may occasionally slip out, but if they truly love you they will accept you for who you are and support you too.

Being gay or bi is not 'evil' and it will not hold you back in life either, remind them of this. You are their son, that's what matters.

[_NaturalTalent_]

Hey Slayer,

I wrote before but it seems to have been lost in cyberspace... Ill go again but it wont be as good...

Firstly, I want you to do a little research on your parents religion, by research I mean find some FACTS that do not line up with your parents BELIEFS... Such as the fact that 'God' never said "If your gay ill send you to hell"... All animal species have same gender situations, even those considered the closest to humans, such as dolphins and monkeys... It IS natural its just that the majority are not as open minded or they deny & bury the truth.

This is best saved for if your parents turn against you, you can throw it in their face and tell them to ask their 'God' if what they are doing to you is right and just and loving, then walk away for awhile, they will come to their senses.

More often than not the love of 'blood' out ways the love of 'religious beliefs'.

Hopefully they will accept you and your opinions and feelings, they may not agree and this will lead to it occasionally slipping out, but if they are truly good people they will accept you AND support you.

Tony is right, its a good idea to get a contingency plan in place asap, as in somewhere else to go as a last resort if they try to kick you out, but I hope for your sake your parents are better people than you fear.

Religions purpose is to teach love and acceptance, even though so many use it for oppression or ARE oppressed, they believe its for the greater good, so when they are shown the heartlessness of their actions, they begin to question themselves, especially when combined with truth.

The most import thing is you don't let others oppress you... Which I can tell is effecting you right now, even if its subconsciously. You have to follow your own beliefs and feelings and loves in life. Don't let others control you.

OH and if it would help, try having someone with you for support when you talk to your parents.. This person can put an end to the conversation if it appears to be effecting you too much, they can mediate misunderstandings and call unfair or hurtful things said.

Most importantly, stay true to yourself, if your parents don't accept you for who you are that does not mean anything is wrong with you, but they obviously raised you better than their parents raised them..

Don't give up mate, I don't know you but im proud of you for not denying who you are!