Choice: give in to fear or accept the request?

[Guest_1478]

Hi,

I am in year 11 at school and our Senior Head of Learning asked if I would consider speaking at a parent night for the year 10 parents about year 11 life. The teacher would ask a group of us (about 5 or 6 from my class) some questions on stage that we would answer. There would be no more than 30 parents there, by my estimate from past years. However, I have terrible social anxiety and stage fright is one of my greatest problems. I am honoured to have been considered and I would love to help out the teacher by doing it but I don't know if I can. I feel so awful after doing anything in front of people and I don't know if I can make the decision to voluntarily feel that way. Does anyone have any advice or an opinion on what I should do?

[geoff]

Hello EllaGranger, and a warm welcome to you and it might have been difficult to post your comment, editing, cancelling and deleting it until finally, you posted it, that takes courage so well done.

It's not easy to stand up in front of a group of people and talk to a group of parents, but you don't necessarily have to if you feel it would be too much for you.

The other option is if you do want to talk to them then you don't have to prove yourself to anybody, you will only be answering questions to what year 11 was like, and you won't be alone, there will be a group of you, 5 or 6 and perhaps they might be feeling the same.

What you can do is ask the teacher what sort of questions they are going to ask, then you can do your homework, that will make it easier for you.

Perhaps the 6 of you could practice as a group, but sitting down would be less confronting and only have short answers.

It's common for regular people to feel nervous before they go on stage, even though they're been doing it for years.

Please let us know the outcome.

Geoff.

[Lost4eva]

Dear EllaGranger_1478,

Welcome to the forums! Thank you for joining.

Firstly, congratulations on being selected for this role. Your teacher must think highly of you to invite you to participate.

It seems as it you have evaluated the situation in terms of participants, parents etc. - well done. That is a good first step.

You don't like speaking publicly and that is something many people have difficulty with. But I'm wondering if this situation would be slightly different, in that you are in a group and I'm assuming the teacher will have you all seated, like on a panel?

Perhaps the group scenario will assist you? Because in a group situation, you actually don't have to say anything if you don't want to! You can let the others pick up the questions from the audience and answer them!!!

If you feel able to, perhaps you could discuss with your teacher, your thoughts and worries? I am sure that he/she will understand.

Another avenue is to chat to the school counsellor. I'm sure they have strategies to employ for events such as these.

I get the feeling you want to do this event, but you don't have to! I am sure your teacher would understand if you felt you had to decline. You have put a lot of thought and effort into your decision, so tell them that and they will appreciate your decision.

I hope this is a little helpful?! Please let us know how you go.

[quirkywords]

Ella,

Congratulations on being asked to be part of the group or speak to parents.

Well done for your first post and welcome to,the forum.

Lost4eva has written a supportive post with helpful suggestions.

I agree being part of a group is a good start to public speaking. I was in Toastmasters a group for public speaking and Ipalso know about feeling nervous before a speech. Even well known speakers feel nervous at times.

The next main thing is to be prepared. you know about your subject well as you are living it now.

Maybe get some small index cards and wire down a few topics, that are important and jot down some points.

Can you talk to the the other girls in the group and maybe work together so you can take turns in answering and preparing topics. I am sure the other girls will help you be confident.

Once I you know you are prepared and what is expected of you will feel better.

Maybe you could talk to a girl in Year 12 who did the same talk last year.

Of ocourse , you have to feel comfortable about doing it but maybe try a few of the suggestions and see how you feel.

Well done for even thinking about something that makes you nervous.

Feel free to keep posting and let us know how you go.

Quirky

[Guest_1478]

Thank you, Lost4eva, for your encouragement in my being selected and your advice. I am very grateful and needed the help. Thanks.

[Guest_1478]

Hi everyone,

I just thought I would update you on the situation. I decided to accept the offer but the teacher told me later that day not to worry about it because they decided not to have a panel after all. I am quite relieved by this news but still excited for a new opportunity: the teacher explained that although they are no longer having a panel at the parent's night, they would like some students to talk to just the students in their form period. This is a much more relaxing situation for me as I know many of the students well and there would obviously be fewer people to talk in front of.

Thank you all for your support anyway!

Ella 🙂