Changing for the better I think

[Shahnny]

Hey guys I am new to this forum but I needed to sign up because I needed some advice from people who may have gone through the same thing as me.

During school I was bullied by my best friends and so for me that sent me into very deep depression and gave me anxiety from then on. That was about 4 years ago and I have only really been better for about a year now and things are really look up. 

I am now in my first ever relationship but this is worrying me a lot. My mum is very worried that this may make me relapse because in her mind I never got better because I didn't go on medication I just sort of fixed myself which was what I always wanted to do. So the other day she came into my room out of the blue and started yelling saying that I am going to fall back into it because of this new relationship and so on and now I am starting to feel she maybe right. I don't feel anything like I did during those four years but she has gotten into my head and now I am worried. I have also just started a new job that is very stressful but does anyone know anything I can do to make sure I am not falling back into bad depression and aniety?

thank you 

[Ellie05]

Shahnny,

I sounds like things are going really well for you with the new relationship and job, however these things can be stressful also. I think it's great that you've managed your anxiety on your own so far. Your mum's actions sound a little unusual but I suppose she is just worried for you and ended up lashing out. I think a great option would be to speak to a psychologist. They can teach you strategies for coping with anxiety such as breathing techniques, muscle relaxation and CBT. Exercise is also a great way to combat depression and anxiety. 

[Neil_1]

Hi Shahnny

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for coming here and providing your post.

I tell you what – I reckon you have been doing bloody excellently.  Just sit down and have a think about where you were a few years ago;  or even, this time last year?   And now have a squiz at what you’ve achieved – you got through your depression and anxiety under your own steam;  and that is some huge achievement.

You’ve now got your first ever relationship happening and you’ve scored yourself a job.  Shahnny, these are massive achievements and I hope are feeling heaps proud of yourself, because you have every right too.

It doesn’t make sense to me why your Mum came at you the other day.  I would try to explain to her, perhaps a little of the above;  about what you’ve been able to achieve.

The big thing I think here is that you are now not in that toxic environment where you were bullied.  That would cause anyone anxiety and stress and depression as a result.  I’d be reminding your Mum that your low feelings were largely linked with the bullying and now that that is no longer an issue, she should be able to see how much you’ve advanced.

The last thing I’d like to say here is that YOU, Shahnny are the one who hopefully knows how much you’ve moved forward, progressed and achieved.  Keep doing what you’ve been doing.

Would also love to hear back from you.

Neil