Brother Needs Help

[Dennis_R]

Hey Guys,

I'm 18 and my brother is 15. Recently his personality and behaviour has really changed. He used to be going to school all the time, but then he fell into a habit of staying up late and usually only making it to school for less than half the day. Recently his behaviour has got worse, he usually goes to bed very late (2,3,5 am), wakes up late and then doesn't go to school. He also often stays up all night so that he can go to school the next day, as if he goes to sleep, he cannot wake up the next day.

When he doesn't go to school I ask him why and he usually responds with silence - and if I insist then he ends up saying he doesn't know or that he doesn't think about it. All he does is use electronics such as staring at an iPad all day. He is always very irritated, and rarely seems happy. He used to at least try and get to school but recently he has turned into a zombie, not responding to me and his sleep-wake cycles getting worse and worse.

I am not sure how to help him, or what step I should take next?

[geoff]

hi Denni, it's great you are concerned about your 15 year old brother, and thanks for coming to the site.
I'm interested in whether his parents have any idea of what's going on as you have only mentioned yourself, but your brother seems as though he's suffering from depression.
As you're 18 you can take him to the doctors for a diagnosis, as I'm not qualified to make any diagnosis, however suffering from depression for so long, we can normally feel what's going on, and it's no different than if he was my brother, because that's what I would be telling him.
Reachout and/or Headspace are also a couple of places for you to contact, these people just dress like me or you, and therefore don't pose a great authoritarian personality.
I believe that he definitely needs to see a doctor, so please try and convince him to go with you, but I would definitely like to to hear back from you. Geoff.

[demonblaster]

Hi Dennis

What a lovely big brother you are being so caring towards him.

As Geoff mentioned it would be a good idea to get him to a GP cause the sooner the reason is found the quicker he can get the help he needs. Hard ages you're both going through, so much going on in the head.

It's good you're trying to find out what's pulling him down, possibly if he's how I was then he may not know himself specifically but sounding like schools causing some sort of grief for him but I don't know for sure.

I guess trying to find a way to get him to open up, maybe tell him how much you clearly love him and want to help him could help. Being a big brother and how you are towards him he I imagine looks up to you so you might be able to get him opening up and could help if he doesn't talk with the doctor.

This would be upsetting for you if you want to talk about how you're feeling go for it 🙂

Like to hear how you go
Tc

[Doolhof]

Hi Dennis,

Welcome tot he forums. It is wonderful you want to help your brother. I too am a little curious as to where your parents are in all of this? Maybe they work, you have moved out of home, live overseas away from parents, there could be a whole lot of reasons why you are trying to care for your brother.

A few suggestions have been made for you here. Trying to find out the issues involved would be helpful, but you may not be able to get that information out of your brother.

A Dr or counsellor could help. Is there someone at the school you can ask where you get immediate help from?

Try making phone calls to places like Headspace, LifeLine here at Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. These people will be able to help point you in the right direction.

Trying to discover what has caused your brother to behave like this is important to sort out where to go from here.

Like Geoff and DB have mentioned, we hope to hear back from you, please know this is a supportive place where people try to help each other out the best we can.

If it helps you to write and share more here, then please, do so. You can be supported here and also in the real world where you are living.

Wish I had a brother like you when I was young! Cheers to you from Mrs. Dools

[demonblaster]

Dennis hey & all

Not sure if you're still around, just wanted you to know apart from checking through my threads I've wondered how your getti g on.

It's warming to see your love & deep concern for your brother

I do hope your brother gets the help he needs & having you by his side he's got a good chance

How are you feeling?