Young people

Im lost.

replies: 1

Im 23 years old,recently finished my university degree and now working full time in a multinational company. Sounds great right? But recently I've been taking days off quite often and I havent even been in the job for a long time. However I've been d... View more

Im 23 years old,recently finished my university degree and now working full time in a multinational company. Sounds great right? But recently I've been taking days off quite often and I havent even been in the job for a long time. However I've been diagnosed with anxiety/depression and there are days when its really bad, that I just wouldnt want to go to work, but also Ive been diagnosed with vertigo so it comes and it goes. Im worried about what my colleagues think of me, but I know they see how hard I work especially when Im feeling great and my mood is good. Today and yesterday I didnt go to work because Ive been feeling dizzy and vommiting, and it is apparently really busy at work due to unannounced audit and I feel 10x worse. Right now Im feeling so lost, I dont know if Im using my health conditions as an excuse or I dont want this work. All I know is I want a break from everything, I dont enjoy my life, I dont know where to start to change how it is, to live my life how I want it to be. I guess I let people around me control my life. That is another story to tell. Please help me get a different perspective on this. Please help

Feeling Lonely, is it normal to have two close friends?

replies: 3

Recently I've been thinking quite a bit about my social circle, and how it seems depressing to think about. In high school I used to have a abundance of friends, people I'd see all the time and close groups to hang out with. I started University and ... View more

Recently I've been thinking quite a bit about my social circle, and how it seems depressing to think about. In high school I used to have a abundance of friends, people I'd see all the time and close groups to hang out with. I started University and naturally drifted from a few of those friends, but maintained a solid 5 or so friends I saw regularly. I wasn't too concerned though because I made tonnes of new friends at uni, but as of late have drifted from them too. I'm not left with what feels like 2 friends and I can't help but think that's all a bit sad and tragic, as I look around and most people have tonnes of friends and group chats I can't help but feel lonely and like my social life is "sad". I still go out frequently but in terms of catching up with people, it's those two friends that I have. Not really sure why i'm posting, just hoping someone else is in the same boat because it's all I think about which is quite sad

Bullied at work and suffering badly. Help.

replies: 1

Hi all, first time poster. Basically I was bullied at work by a fellow employee for 1.5 years. She is about 20+ years older than me and the bullying started from the day I stepped foot in that workplace. She has always spoken to me like I am smaller ... View more

Hi all, first time poster. Basically I was bullied at work by a fellow employee for 1.5 years. She is about 20+ years older than me and the bullying started from the day I stepped foot in that workplace. She has always spoken to me like I am smaller than her and dumb. She has sprayed me with Glen20 when I was sick, micromanaged me when she isnt my manger and SO much more. The bullying got so bad I spoke up for myself in October last year and she was spoken to. It progressively got worse but then one day she went to management and said she was going on stress leave because of me because I, "don't say hello to her nicely" I "leave the lunch room when she walks in" and more lies. Management called me in to address it with me and I had a meltdown, hysterically, said I would quit and left. I decided to be the bigger person and came back the next day. She was chuffed, over the moon with herself. Not at all someone who was "about to go on stress leave" whch mind you, she never did. ANYWAY, my employer spoke to everyone privatey who all said they witnessed me being bullied and they gave her a formal warning but kept her emoloyed. Now I am expected to continue to work with her? I cry everyday about going into work. I am desperately trying to find a new job but I cannot believe how damaged I am from it all. Will I recover?

Brother Needs Help

replies: 4

Hey Guys, I'm 18 and my brother is 15. Recently his personality and behaviour has really changed. He used to be going to school all the time, but then he fell into a habit of staying up late and usually only making it to school for less than half the... View more

Hey Guys, I'm 18 and my brother is 15. Recently his personality and behaviour has really changed. He used to be going to school all the time, but then he fell into a habit of staying up late and usually only making it to school for less than half the day. Recently his behaviour has got worse, he usually goes to bed very late (2,3,5 am), wakes up late and then doesn't go to school. He also often stays up all night so that he can go to school the next day, as if he goes to sleep, he cannot wake up the next day. When he doesn't go to school I ask him why and he usually responds with silence - and if I insist then he ends up saying he doesn't know or that he doesn't think about it. All he does is use electronics such as staring at an iPad all day. He is always very irritated, and rarely seems happy. He used to at least try and get to school but recently he has turned into a zombie, not responding to me and his sleep-wake cycles getting worse and worse. I am not sure how to help him, or what step I should take next?

I'm in need of suport

replies: 2

Hi there I'm currently 20years old and 5 years ago I was diagnosed with server depression and i have been battling on and off with it since then. My depression started when my nana past away, I am also now a new mum my baby is 6 weeks old and I love ... View more

Hi there I'm currently 20years old and 5 years ago I was diagnosed with server depression and i have been battling on and off with it since then. My depression started when my nana past away, I am also now a new mum my baby is 6 weeks old and I love him to pieces but I'm not sure what I can do anymore apart from seeking the help from others and beyond blue, I have been on a four wheel driving trip with beyond blue a few years ago now and it made me feel amazing inside, I'm in need of some assistance to help me feel amazing again thank you I already feel a little better for taking this step

I don't feel anything anymore

replies: 4

Hi, i'm 18 years old and I am the first to admit that I have a good life. Up until now i've felt the normal teenage emotions of heartbreak and all the rest of it but now i don't feel anything. No matter what happens i feel like i'm numb. I'm never ov... View more

Hi, i'm 18 years old and I am the first to admit that I have a good life. Up until now i've felt the normal teenage emotions of heartbreak and all the rest of it but now i don't feel anything. No matter what happens i feel like i'm numb. I'm never overly happy but i'm never overly sad either. I'm not the type of person who worries about things, i am very laid back. But a lot of the time at uni, the gym or at home, i'm there physically but mentally i am not. It's almost like my body is there but my mind isn't. Sometimes i feel like my body is moving without me even controlling it. I just go through the motions every day and my body has become so used to it that i'm in auto pilot mode. I struggle to find motivation to go anywhere other than the gym. I used to go out with my friends regularly however they stopped talking to me because i "brought the mood down". In my opinion this is a load of rubbish because out of all my friends i have always been the most laid back. But even when they stopped talking to me i didn't even get sad about it. As i said i don't feel any sort of emotion in any situation, not happy, not sad, not anything. I do not dislike my life, i have never thought about harming myself, i just miss the feeling of being excited and happy, and to be honest i miss feeling sad because it made me feel alive. Does anyone else feel the same way or is it just me?

anxiety? depression?

replies: 2

For the past year and a half Ive been having trouble breathing. At first it was only occasionally, and felt like a jump in my throat or chest. But last 8-6 months its been so much worse, to the point where i'm struggling to breathe for long periods (... View more

For the past year and a half Ive been having trouble breathing. At first it was only occasionally, and felt like a jump in my throat or chest. But last 8-6 months its been so much worse, to the point where i'm struggling to breathe for long periods (one lasted around 5 hours) of time, and feeling dizzy, faint. periodically, during this time food has either been my savior or my worst enemy, where it makes me feel sick even if its dinner and i haven't eaten all day. Recently I have confided in one of my teachers at school about everything, and she suggested i see the school psych, i went but it made me feel worse. i didnt mention the above, she asked about my family and i related how my Uncle had past away (i didnt know him that well but it effected my Grandparents and my dad badly), how my grandmothers best friend (very close to when i was little) past away and how my gran has cancer, but due to complications can't have full rounds of chemo. my brother is away, working overseas and my mums side of the family is a bit dysfunctional. i told the psych, i didnt like how she kept repeating what i was saying which made me feel stupid, frustrated and annoyed. i cant bring myself to do things i enjoy, i avoid social situations, especially loud groups of people, its been a struggle for me to get up to see my boyfriend (who i love dearly and would generally do anything for at any time), i find myself lying on the floor for hours doing nothing, and getting homework done is an increasing struggle. ive always been good at hiding my emotions from anyone, but yesterday in class after i saw the psych, my teacher came over and asked where i had been and i froze and couldnt think about anything but 1.i couldnt lie to my teacher 2.people were watching and listening to my answer. so i ended up standing up running to the corner of the room sort of crying and not able breathe. ive been doing the brain quiz every so often on this site since at least year 8 or 9 (now about to start yr 12), to monitor my mood, i used to get 25-36, but since the start of this year i havent gotten below a 45. im scared to go to a doctor, and i havent told my parents, as i believe the same thing will happen as when i told the psych that ill end up annoyed and angry. and my parents not knowing is usually the only reason i get up, as i have to pretend everything is okay for their sake, which is usually useful i feel. any suggestions on what to do now? ive been waiting for it to go away but its not.

Scared to go to school?

replies: 1

Hey my name is Zoe and I'm really terrified to go to school when I know for certain a minor inconvenience will be in the way. For example if it's raining I'll begin to think "Oh god, I'll have to ask where my wet weather class room is and then I'll h... View more

Hey my name is Zoe and I'm really terrified to go to school when I know for certain a minor inconvenience will be in the way. For example if it's raining I'll begin to think "Oh god, I'll have to ask where my wet weather class room is and then I'll have to sit inside the hall, what if I can't find my friends?" Etc. It's getting to the point where I'll cry for an hour and I'll have to turn my alarm off so I don't wake up in the morning. Mum thinks I'm just another moody teenager who just doesn't want to go to school because it's lame or something. But she doesn't realize that the thought of surrounding myself with people I don't know makes me panic and cry. I honestly don't know what to do. Should I ask my mum to see a doctor? And what should I do if I'm too terrified to go to school again?

I hate myself

replies: 25

I'm semi-new to beyondblue. I visited a few months back but found it difficult to read other people's stories because it made me feel pathetic about myself, which I 100% know is the wrong way to think... but it isn't as simple as knowing that it's th... View more

I'm semi-new to beyondblue. I visited a few months back but found it difficult to read other people's stories because it made me feel pathetic about myself, which I 100% know is the wrong way to think... but it isn't as simple as knowing that it's the wrong way to think because I don't feel like I can control how I think. I finish year 12 in two days. I genuinely would rather gauge my eyes out with spoons than finish. It scares me. I've never dreaded anything so much in my entire life. School is my social life and the only place other than home I can feel relatively comfortable. I get nervous crossing main roads. I get nervous going out, and while I really want to go to parties I get so nervous and awkward while I'm there that I just really want to go home. How am I supposed to live life outside of school? I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I feel that way about so many little things that it's just overwhelming. I don't even know anymore what's wrong and it's ruining my relationships with people. I keep saying I'll see someone but I finish school and there's no longer anyone to see, and I'm too socially inept to take myself somewhere like a doctor or whoever I see about this kind of thing. I let my nerves get the best of me and even though I know how to 'fix' it I just don't think I can. I've lost so many friendships because of it that it hurts me to see these people and think anything but "that's your fault, you could still be their friend." I can't talk to anyone or see anyone about this. If feeling this way was a physical body part I would cut it off. I don't even know what to say here. I just hate myself. I don't want to be like me because people like me don't get to live a life they want to. I feel like smashing my head against a wall sometimes I just can't stop thinking. I make scenarios in my head and dread everything and cry at night when I can't sleep and I wake up every day and cry sometimes still and question which one of my friends will be next to leave because I don't make an effort with them, all because I'm too afraid. Not sure what I can really do about feeling this way anymore. These fears have been there since year 7 but in light of certain events in the past few months, and especially leading up to end of school, I just don't think I can continue to hate myself like I do but I just wholeheartedly do. I know it isn't okay if I want to maintain friendships after school's out. - constantthinker

Failing University, Anxiety holding me back, Feel like it's too late

replies: 3

Hey, I'm a student. Earlier this year, due to me mishandling a situation at home, my single parent mum had to leave the home due to an AVO. I currently live with my younger sibling. I'm on good terms with my mother, but these past several months with... View more

Hey, I'm a student. Earlier this year, due to me mishandling a situation at home, my single parent mum had to leave the home due to an AVO. I currently live with my younger sibling. I'm on good terms with my mother, but these past several months with me suddenly losing a parent in the household and being alone with my sibling, I lost focus of my life and delved into online games which took a significant toll on my University studies. Internally, I know I'm just blaming my situation on the AVO, but I know if I was more focused and had more mental fortitude, I would have been able to succeed in University as well. Last semester of University, I had two final exams which I did poorly on because when I read the date, I thought it was 13th, but when I double checked later on, it was on the 3rd, and I only had a single day to prepare for 2 exams. I failed both courses. I'm a year behind in Uni and on probation. After I realised what had happened, I identified the issue : games. I spent so much time playing games, because it was an escape from real life. When I'm playing, all the failing marks, being behind in studies, my situation; none of it exists. Thankfully, I've managed to go cold turkey on games and haven't played in a month. For reference on how much I was playing, in 2 months, I played 700 Hours (average 12 hours a day). I've also started going to the gym and that also makes me feel like I'm doing something positive with my life. I'm also focusing more on uni now. The issue is whenever I let my thoughts roam, I feel like its too late, and I've already messed up. I've been lying to my father (has his own family, lives separately) whenever he calls about my marks because I can't handle to tell him the truth. Right now my goals in life: >get fit >get a job that isn't fast food >get my P licence >Do better in Uni All my friends from highschool have already attained these goals, but my anxiety is holding me back. When I think about getting a job, I tell myself I will do it after I can drive to work. I used to work at McDonalds but I hated it to the stage where I dreaded every morning I had to wake up for work so I quit right after the AVO incident. I can get my P's as I visit my mother and drive in her car with her but when I do I feel so much anxiety about such little things, like 'what if there's no parking', 'what if something goes wrong', 'what if she asks me about university'. Anyways, just needed to share, thanks for reading.

Pinned discussions

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

All discussions

Im lost.

replies: 1

Feeling Lonely, is it normal to have two close friends?

replies: 3

Bullied at work and suffering badly. Help.

replies: 1

Brother Needs Help

replies: 4

I'm in need of suport

replies: 2

I don't feel anything anymore

replies: 4

anxiety? depression?

replies: 2

Scared to go to school?

replies: 1

I hate myself

replies: 25

Failing University, Anxiety holding me back, Feel like it's too late

replies: 3

Young people

New to this Forum? Please read this first! replies: 0

Im lost. replies: 1

Feeling Lonely, is it normal to have two close friends? replies: 3

Bullied at work and suffering badly. Help. replies: 1

Brother Needs Help replies: 4

I'm in need of suport replies: 2

I don't feel anything anymore replies: 4

anxiety? depression? replies: 2

Scared to go to school? replies: 1

I hate myself replies: 25

Failing University, Anxiety holding me back, Feel like it's too late replies: 3

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

Im lost.

replies: 1

Feeling Lonely, is it normal to have two close friends?

replies: 3

Bullied at work and suffering badly. Help.

replies: 1

Brother Needs Help

replies: 4

I'm in need of suport

replies: 2

I don't feel anything anymore

replies: 4

anxiety? depression?

replies: 2

Scared to go to school?

replies: 1

I hate myself

replies: 25

Failing University, Anxiety holding me back, Feel like it's too late

replies: 3