anxiety? depression?

[snowy13]

For the past year and a half Ive been having trouble breathing. At first it was only occasionally, and felt like a jump in my throat or chest. But last 8-6 months its been so much worse, to the point where i'm struggling to breathe for long periods (one lasted around 5 hours) of time, and feeling dizzy, faint. periodically, during this time food has either been my savior or my worst enemy, where it makes me feel sick even if its dinner and i haven't eaten all day.

Recently I have confided in one of my teachers at school about everything, and she suggested i see the school psych, i went but it made me feel worse. i didnt mention the above, she asked about my family and i related how my Uncle had past away (i didnt know him that well but it effected my Grandparents and my dad badly), how my grandmothers best friend (very close to when i was little) past away and how my gran has cancer, but due to complications can't have full rounds of chemo. my brother is away, working overseas and my mums side of the family is a bit dysfunctional. i told the psych, i didnt like how she kept repeating what i was saying which made me feel stupid, frustrated and annoyed.

i cant bring myself to do things i enjoy, i avoid social situations, especially loud groups of people, its been a struggle for me to get up to see my boyfriend (who i love dearly and would generally do anything for at any time), i find myself lying on the floor for hours doing nothing, and getting homework done is an increasing struggle.

ive always been good at hiding my emotions from anyone, but yesterday in class after i saw the psych, my teacher came over and asked where i had been and i froze and couldnt think about anything but 1.i couldnt lie to my teacher 2.people were watching and listening to my answer. so i ended up standing up running to the corner of the room sort of crying and not able breathe.

ive been doing the brain quiz every so often on this site since at least year 8 or 9 (now about to start yr 12), to monitor my mood, i used to get 25-36, but since the start of this year i havent gotten below a 45.

im scared to go to a doctor, and i havent told my parents, as i believe the same thing will happen as when i told the psych that ill end up annoyed and angry. and my parents not knowing is usually the only reason i get up, as i have to pretend everything is okay for their sake, which is usually useful i feel.

any suggestions on what to do now? ive been waiting for it to go away but its not.

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi Snowy , your post was very well written and explained ..The good thing is you understand and know whats happening to you .. the big question is why ... You don't want this breathing problem to continue , you reaching out to the psych at school and telling your story hear is a great first step ...Could you talk to your mum ? If your mum could go with you to the Doctor with you ..you could find a professional to talk with...make sure you feel comfortable with the person you find (The Professional) ...Remember this is about you getting stronger ...so don't hesitate to tell your mum if that person is not right for you ... it might take a few ...you will find someone ...

If you cant talk with your mum then find someone you trust ... Keep talking hear ...just write about how you feel ..

I hope this has helped Snowy13... Find that support and get strong ...start tomorrow :]

[demonblaster]

Hi Snowy well done reaching out & Hi Simon 🙂

Sorry you're going through this hun, that's rough and the breathing would be quite scary no doubt

Agree with Simon going to GP and talking to your parent/s, alternatively some one that you're comfy with.
Not sure but Psych repeating could be to put it in perspective for you or maybe making sure they've got it right and giving you a chance to talk more about it.

You have a lot going on in your life with family illness & seeing your Dad & Grandparents sick & hurting it's understandable to be having anxiety. Psychs can help you through all this, first starting point is GP. Once you get the ball rolling it'll all become easier the more often you see someone

It's ok not to feel comfy opening up but it is necessary and you can't get help unless they know exactly what's going on. Even if you print this out or write more which also is good for release.

The sooner you see GP the quicker you can get help and have a better life.

I think the anger's frustration becuase we feel out of control and finding it all too hard to get through which you can but we do need help doing it. Too much to tackle alone.

Like to know how you get on, the more you talk the more release

Also if you want to have a look at other threads here too, there's a lot of good stuff around, nice people too

I think the main thing is to be open to wanting to get help, when we feel like this our minds tend to shut down with the pain and stress. Be honest darl with them.


If you reply keep checking here for various reasons we might be longer getting back & sometimes posts can take a while to go through because of great moderation here, the nasties don't land which is fantastic for us to be able to be free without judgement

Best