I don't feel anything anymore

[big45]

Hi, i'm 18 years old and I am the first to admit that I have a good life. Up until now i've felt the normal teenage emotions of heartbreak and all the rest of it but now i don't feel anything. No matter what happens i feel like i'm numb. I'm never overly happy but i'm never overly sad either. I'm not the type of person who worries about things, i am very laid back. But a lot of the time at uni, the gym or at home, i'm there physically but mentally i am not. It's almost like my body is there but my mind isn't. Sometimes i feel like my body is moving without me even controlling it. I just go through the motions every day and my body has become so used to it that i'm in auto pilot mode. I struggle to find motivation to go anywhere other than the gym. I used to go out with my friends regularly however they stopped talking to me because i "brought the mood down". In my opinion this is a load of rubbish because out of all my friends i have always been the most laid back. But even when they stopped talking to me i didn't even get sad about it. As i said i don't feel any sort of emotion in any situation, not happy, not sad, not anything. I do not dislike my life, i have never thought about harming myself, i just miss the feeling of being excited and happy, and to be honest i miss feeling sad because it made me feel alive. Does anyone else feel the same way or is it just me?

[james1]

Hello big45,

Welcome to the forums! I'm sad to hear you are struggling a fair bit at the moment with this numbness. It sounds like your mind has just checked out for whatever reason.

It's a very normal feeling to, well, not feel. But just because many of us have experienced it before doesn't make it any less difficult, because it is very hard.

Do you have any thoughts about how this started and have you talked to anyone apart from us about it?

I still get it from time to time in serious waves, but at the moment it's mostly just in the back like a switch that's just been turned off.

James

[redmanna]

I feel the same way, at first I thought It would pass but its been 2 weeks and I still don't know whats wrong with me.

[big45]

Hi James,

thanks for the response, i'm not too sure how it started but i would've thought it would have something to do with my friends basically dropping me as if i never existed (among other things). However recently i've been talking to a girl and we'd stay up really late to talk to each other and we've hung out and it went really well and she said she wanted to do it again but ever since we caught up our conversations online have really dried up and she seems as if all of a sudden she doesn't want to talk to me (even though she was the one who said she wanted to see me again). So currently my life is consumed by overthinking and worrying about her... at least it's not numbness anymore i guess, but i think i prefer not feeling anything rather than being sad all day about a girl.

[LuLu_]

Hi there

I related to you 100%.

i lost the ability to care about anything after my dad was diagnosed with cancer and had been in treatment for two years. There was a time I remember vividly. It was Christmas Day. I sat at the end of the table and thought about how I could be anywhere with anyone and wouldn’t care one bit. Christmas didn’t matter. The celebration of family and friends didn’t matter. I just didn’t care.

the summer holidays came and I felt nothing. No joy. Just numb. I didn’t talk to my friends because I didn’t see the point. Nothing mattered. I didn’t matter.

I relate to your feelings of numbness and nothingness. I feel numb mostly everyday. It’s hard because it makes me feel less human. It makes me feel invisible. It’s like i am shrugging my shoulders towards be world.

For me it became so bad I had to reach out. I did reach out and now I have support. I am better off than I was for sure. Hang on in there.

i hope to hear from you soon

lulu