Bored and lonely due to unemployment

[bubblybunny]

Hello, I am not too sure how to start this but I hope that somebody may be able to help me feel a little bit better. I was diagnosed with depression about five years ago now, I used to see a psychiatrist from time to time when my depression would worsen but for now I am only taking medicine. I have been unemployed for a little over a year now, jobs which I am interested in typically are difficult to get to even if they are not necessarily far away. I know that for some I could catch public transport but I get very anxious about doing this, I decided it was not feasible for me and started working hard to try to get my P's so that I would be able to drive myself to and from work. I have about 18 hours to go before I can go for my driving test which I am not too worried about but I do not get much time to practice my driving only about two to three hours a week, there is still a long time to go before I can go for my test with this in perspective. My biggest problem right now is that I feel bored and lonely, in the day time it is not so bad, I can think of things to do, I have been learning how to cook and clean, I exercise each day for about an hour and I do other things that I like. I live at home with my parents who are home at night time but when they go to bed I feel very depressed, I do not understand why, they are not here in the day time and I am okay then. I see my boyfriend twice a week and sometimes see friends too but I still feel that I cannot shake this feeling of loneliness, I think it is because the majority of my time is spent alone and I am not doing much. Does anybody know what I could do to fill in my time or maybe what I could do to help myself feel better? 

[_NaturalTalent_]

Hey bunny,

What your going through is quite normal, im going to refer to it as a transition phase right now.. You have a big change coming with getting your licence , I didn't get mine until about 24yo because of my issues.

Oh I went for the tests and everything at 16, but the let down of not achieving it was too much for my depression & anxiety, which has since gotten easier by the way.

Do you have any pets? And if not is it an option you can consider?

If possible, see your boyfriend more often, if you can, take away the scheduled visit and just see each other when its possible..

Honestly, night time is always the hardest, it brings out the inner you. You get stuck in your thoughts, there isn't much to do or many people to see. Have you tried going to bed when you parents do? Maybe take a book with you and read for a little while before trying to sleep.

It sounds like your keeping occupied during the day, which keeps your mind of everything. But at night time, during wind down, you are limited. Try to rise and fall with your parents each day, get a routine in place.

Alternatively get online and chat with some people, call your boyfriend for a 10 15 min chat or something just cause you miss him. Texting is a poor replacement for the face and voice of someone you love, especially when your feeling lonely.... You never know he might say something like, 'what are you doing up' 'do you want me to come pick you up' (if he has a licence) or 'come over for a little while'.

Find something you feel passionate about and get online and study it.

Mix up the music you listen to.

Make some new friends online in games or something.

Also, I want you to look into 'Expressive/Creative therapy'. Don't look at it as a therapy, look at is as something to do, many people don't realise passions are therapeutic..

If you want to, get back to me, ill keep an eye out. Id be interested to hear how you go and what you choose to do.

Hope this helped anyway

NT

[Narniakid]

Hey bubblybunny, welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing with us.

I totally hear where you're coming from - I put off getting my P's for almost a year because I was too nervous, and then I really struggled to get the hours up in time. The driving lessons with professional instructors are worth the money, because they take 3 or 4 hours off in a one hour lesson, so they are something you should consider looking into.

Keep applying for those jobs, someone will give you a shot. I spent about a year and a half applying for jobs before I even got an interview, and I am employed now in an industry I never would have picked for myself, but I quite enjoy it. You really never know what is around the corner.

It is really good to hear that you've been keeping busy learning to cook and clean. I also recommend taking some online courses, there are great free courses available on Open2Study, which I've been keeping myself busy with lately, not to mention they'll spice up your resume. Also I strongly suggest you find yourself a creative outlet - writing, painting, drawing, sewing - whatever you like; my partner writes rap songs in his spare time to keep himself grounded. 

Remember that YOU are responsible for your own happiness; family and friends are always there to support you and enhance your life, but at the end of the day, self care and time to yourself are so important to your mental health, and nobody else can give you that.

Crystal