attraction issues

[the_macadam_nut]

I have "attraction issues"

I used to be attracted to girls but an incident occurred

It involved in appropriate touching towards me and ever since then I didnt think of myself as normal as I didnt feel attracted to good looking girls

I want to be attracted to girls again (I dont see myself as homosexual).

I have tried to search of appropiate methods to be attracted to girls but I tried and none of them worked

One of them was watching videos of "a nature of some sort" that didnt work. I tried to exercise a lot, eat healthy and obviously I dont smoke or take drugs but that didnt help me to feel attracted to girls again

I found a method which I think can make me attracted to girls but that would involve a large sum of money (its a massage of some sort) and I prefer to use cost efficient methods

Please help me, this has been occuring for about 3 years and I wanted to have this issue resolved quickly so I can live a "normal" life again

[white knight]

hi macca,

this is a tough ine to answer but I hope I can help.

I take a lot of interest in fashion. I like admiring women who dress nicely, their hair colour and maybe a bright scarf. My wife knows this, I'm 100% dedicated to her and she knows its just my interest and observations.

Another thing is how a female does female thing like flirting, twisting their hair, getting them laughing or embarrassed in a nice way. All these things, mainly observations is a way of finding out if you really like someone. But in my experience with similar issues like anxiety with dating it isnt something to worry about because it serves no purpose. Let things flow.

The following thread might help with that.

If the issue gets worse or even now a therapisr would be really beneficial

Use google

Topic:worry worry worry- beyondblue

Tony WK

[Guest_9809]

Hello macadam nut, and welcome to the BB Forums. You have made a courageous decision to come here and talk about what is bothering you, so well done to you. This space is a non-judgemental and very caring place for people to discuss their mental health issues in a safe and secure environment. So I hope you feel confident to talk about whatever you wish to discuss here. You will be met with kind understanding and caring support.

When it comes to sexuality, it is can be a fairly fluid thing for some, and can change during the course of your life. Sexual attraction and apetite can be affected by hormones, past experiences, religious beliefs, mental health issues and some medications.

Remember that attraction for another person (either male or female) is a mental thing as well as physical. So you may need some emotional involvement before the physical attraction kicks in?

You say this has been going on for 3 years already. If you are seriously concerned about this, I would advise that you see your GP and discuss all of this with them. You dont say how old you are, and your age could definitely have a bearing on all this. It could be some sort of hormonal imbalance, or some other physical issue that you may not be aware of. Your GP may suggest a range of blood tests.

Another option would be to refer you to a counsellor to psychologist where you can discuss in greater detail the issues which are bothering you. I accept that you dont see yourself as homosexual, but perhaps there are things still to explore in that regard? A counsellor or psychologist would be able to guide you through that. They are also likely to delve deeper into the issue you briefly mentioned about some inappropriate touching in the past. It is certainly possible that this has had a lasting affect on you, and needs to be addressed.

I understand your impatience to get back to a normal life again. But meanwhile, try to continue doing all the things that you normally enjoy. Dont let life stagnate or leave you behind.

I'm really pleased to hear that you do not smoke or do drugs! (-:

Perhaps some further details about you would enable other people to respond with further advice and support. Knowing your age for example, would be a big help.

I hope I have been of some help Macadam Nut, and I would really love to hear back from you.

Taurus

[the_macadam_nut]

Ok I'll be more specific on this attraction so hopefully people would understand me better-it's sexual attraction

i am 18 years old

regular exercise doesn't help me boost that attraction. I don't take medication regularly at all and haven't much within the past 3 years (I believe I have only taken medication once within the past 3 years). I am maintaining a healthy lifestyle and am exercising regularly

the only method that I have research (which is a type of massage which has to be done by a female) is quite costly

i was attracted to girls in the past but now I can't get a sense of beauty/attractiveness from them

I feel this incident of inappropriate touching made me less "desirable" and attracted to the opposite gender (please note the people who conducted the inappropriate touching to me were both males)

thanks for any help/advice

[geoff]

hello Macadam nut, yes it is an interesting comment which is great, more for us to think about.
I want to ask you a question and only answer if you want to, but to me it seems as though you're forcing yourself to be attracted to girls, because that's the way you feel you should be feeling, but there is no embarrassment if you want to be on the other side, you're been struggling for 3 years now, and you can't have what you're been pushing yourself to believe in, only because it doesn't seem to be working.
Let go and stop punishing yourself. Geoff.

[solabear]

Hi there macadam nut, thank you for sharing your story with us.

Have you heard of "Asexual" or "Demisexual" as sexual orientation. I'm a demisexual and I can relate to your post. I don't feel sexual attraction towards anybody unless I am emotionally connected to them.

I think it's best if you google it, because you will have a better explanation than me trying to explain it.

You could be demisexual or asexual, and that's why you don't feel sexual attraction to people you are not in love with. Google it and read about it.

I'd love to hear from you again

Sola

[james1]

Hey macadam nut,

It must be frustrating for you to have this happen, but I'm wondering if there's something more that is leftover from the inappropriate touching that occurred. That can leave mental scars sometimes and a GP or counsellor can often help uncover and sort through the leftover mess it can leave.

Otherwise, it's not uncommon to be constantly discovering your sexual identity as you go along and forcing the issue can not only be distressing, as it seems to be now, but also detrimental. Perhaps while this is going on, it might be better to stay away from massages and things which could end up confusing you more, and instead look at the other aspects of life. For example, friendships and the exercise you mentioned are a good way to discover the other aspects of your identity.

James

[the_macadam_nut]

Hey everyone

Thanks for your replies

I think I will wait for a few months (when I have a lot of money) and then I will try to get a "sensual massage" in order to cure my "erectile dysfunction" (well even if it doesn't "cure" it, it will help based on research)

I think living a normal life may not help (although I do not intend to have children as I plan to work more than 40 hours a week in the future)

I believe this continuous inappropriate touching blocked my bloodstream somewhere (where I do not know) hence making it harder for me to feel attracted to the opposite gender