Anyone else struggling with Grief?

[rosie2]

Firstly i want to say im here for you. My best mates little sister was killed in a car accident when the ute they were in hit a tree. Her Dad suffered injury to his neck but we lost her instantly. I will never understand it. Why she only got 11 years and some paedophile gets to live to 100 years old.

Im here for you all!

5 Months and it still hurts just as much as it did that day. :'(

[Elizabeth CP]

Sorry to hear of your loss. Unfortunately there is no good answer to why does one person live and another die in this situation. Grief will ease over time but it never fully goes away but it will become easier to manage. 

After my dad died I focused on remembering the positives: He was at peace and no longer in pain, He had enjoyed most of his life until his death and we found treats in his bag he had bought for mum on the way home before he died so I like to think of him enjoying himself picking out the treats for mum. These thoughts didn't stop me missing him but they helped me deal with the grief and stopped it being so painful. In contrast asking why did it happen to her doesn't help the grief even though it is normal.

I hope you can find some things to cheer you up to help you deal with the grief and allow yourself time to cry as that is also important. 

[white knight]

Hi  Rosie

How can we makes any sense of death and why some pass and others don't. This is an imperfect life and humans are intelligent as a species which means we analyse things. Animals grieve also but likely don't analyse.

Gradually the immediate pain will subside and life will return to some normality. Then people will cope better. We need to move on eventually so we can support and comfort those battling to keep afloat.

This should be our quest as compassionate  humans.

Tony WK

[geoff]

dear Rosie, I am so sorry but I don't have an answer to what you have said, because life can be so unfair, so unpredictable and so devastating, and no matter how hard we try to protect not only ourselves but the people we love, because we never know what's around the corner or what is going to happen in the next 10 minutes, next day or in a few weeks.

When we say goodbye to someone we love or who is really a good friend we say 'all the best and that we love you' expecting that we hope everything will be OK, but circumstances may arise where it's out of our control what happens, and then we suddenly get a phone call telling us the worse.

A 11 year old girl lost her life in a tragic way and left you with a memory that still won't go away, where ever you go you see other little girls that always bring back those lovely thoughts and memories that all of you had together, where friends and family try and console you, but it's not them who is suffering and do they really understand what this loss of her actually means to you, maybe on a certain level they do, but deep down it's just you who is struggling with her loss, just as your best mate.

Grievance counsellors must have such a difficult job to try and console the person who has lost their loved one, because they have to get to the level where the person suffering is actually feeling and what their thoughts are that are holding them down.

I hope that you slowly you will find some peace. Geoff. x