Anxious about being murdered

[Bodie_Amy]

I'm 13, attending High School. I I'm the eldest of 3 and I have very high standards for grades (straight A's) so I'm under a lot of stress all the time. I have general anxiety disorder, mild social anxiety as well. Ever since I was young I have always been terrified of people coming to kill me at night. I tried to scream but I couldn't because I was so scared. It went away for a while, until I moved countries for the third time and I was completely alone, in a new country (this was about two years ago). Since then I've been anxious that people are coming to kill me while I sleep. I also constantly feel like people are judging me and trying to hurt me... To the point it affects my social life. A few weeks ago I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death, and I woke up screaming. I stayed at the foot of my parents bed, but didn't sleep all night because I kept on thinking I could hear him walking around and calling for me. I thought he was going to cut my head off. I'm seeing a school psychologist, but it isn't helping much...

I don't know what it is and I don't know what to do. I'm always irritable and feel targeted a lot by my friends, even if it's a gentle tease. My mind is telling me that I'm being ridiculous, but I still worry and feel upset anyway. Please help!

Thank you!!

[Zeal]

Hi Bodie Amy,

Welcome to the forum! Posting on an online forum for help is brave, especially at your age 🙂

This anxiety over being harmed and the nightmares you experience sound terrifying. It is encouraging that you're seeing the school psychologist. If you don't mind me asking, why do you think seeing this psych is not helping?
If you recently started seeing them, maybe the improvement in your anxiety and fear is yet to come. Intense anxiety can take time to improve. When it does though, it is such a great achievement. If you would like to speak to someone else too, you could see your family doctor (GP) for an appointment. Keeping a record in a notebook of your thoughts, fears and nightmares is useful, as this could help the professional/s you see.

Here are some great online resources that could complement the in-person support you are receiving from the psychologist. If you don't want to read them now, you could add them to your computer favourites for later. Because of your age, it is understandable if you don't read through these. Keeping these for a later date is a good option.

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=54

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=46

Having moved country three times is pretty major. If you don't mind me asking, did where you first live add to your personal safety fears? If you lived somewhere that was not safe, then this could have led to your mental health challenges.

Talking to your Mum or Dad (or both) about your concerns is a good idea. When I was a teenager, I needed plenty of support from my parents. Even now, at 23, my Mum is really supportive.

When you say you feel targeted by your friends, do you mean to say they bully you? If their words and behaviour upset you, calmly tell them this. You could say something like "The things you say and do make me feel bad about myself, and I'd appreciate it if you would stop."

It would be great to hear back from you 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal