Hey there antiart,
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this.
I can understand how hard it would be for you trying to balance work, with your partner, with your anxiety, your nightmares, and your drinking. It must feel like a lot to handle.
I do just want to point out that, in a lot of cases, when someone has issues with mental health (i.e. they have anxiety or depression etc.), alcohol and other substances can make the situation worse. Sometimes it can become a loop - you drink to feel less anxious, you become more anxious because you drink (or even perhaps just the effect of the alcohol is wearing off). I'm glad to hear that the drinking doesn't affect your ability to do your work, but it does sound like it's affecting your relationships at work, and it must be very hurtful to hear comments like those... even if they aren't directed at you.
I really do agree with the above posts - it is important to speak to your GP about these things. I'm unsure what you've tried before and if it's worked at all in the past, but it is important to tell your GP this, and if you get referred to someone else, tell them too! That way you can get the ball rolling much quicker rather than wasting time on things that haven't worked for you in the past.
As for helping with your anxiety, it's hard to get yourself out of the loop. But it's important to think about things that have gotten you to where you are today. Consider things that have helped you manage your anxiety in the past, or find out new ways to help. A google search of "tips to manage anxiety" will show you a list of strategies that might be helpful for you. It's also important to remember that negative self-talk isn't helpful and generally is not true. If you need to start looking for a new job, remember that you scored this job in the first place. There are good qualities that you can focus on too!
I hope this is helpful.
LT.
