stressed out about school

[Anoninon]

I'm in year 11 and will have subject selection for year 12 subjects soon but I'm super stressed out about it. I failed an exam and even though it doesn't affect the overall for the subject (i passed the unit) i know it will affect my subject selection for next year (teachers might not let me do that subject for year 12).

I hate 3 of the subjects im doing because it was what my parents wanted and not me. But i can't drop the subject i failed because that subject is a prereq for so many courses in uni and if I can't take the subject I'm screwed for life. my parents will definitely find out and I'm always getting compared to older siblings who did great in year 12. I feel like i am a disappointment to everyone and even worse now that i failed an exam. this seems like nothing compared to many other people but my life is falling apart. I am also struggling to fall asleep at night and have to stay up until it is really late to go to sleep. What can i do?

[CJames]

Hi Anoninon,

Welcome to the forums, it's an excellent place for you to express yourself judge free and anonymously.

I too currently attend school in year 12, final year, and absolutely can't wait to leave. I certainly know that it get's tough, and I'm sure you'll get through it. How do you find yourself at school (excluding the failed exam)? Do you have a counsellor or someone you can speak to about your worries regarding next year? I know at my school we have a 'Senior Deputy Principle' who you can discuss your grades and ATAR pathways with.

I also even suggest speaking to your head of subject department regarding your worries, they might be able to help. Talking to someone is a tremendous way to release stress, trust me with that, it does wonders for your mental health.

You mentioned that you don't like "three" of your subjects, what are they? Is it the style of teaching you don't enjoy? Or is it plain old boring ;)? I completely understand where you are coming from; I did Modern History and Geography, I loved one and hated the other. Mostly due to the difference between content and teaching style.

Have you spoken to your parents about what's going on at school? Not only about not enjoying the subject, but not passing the exam.

Failing a course is never the end of the world mate, may I ask what career path you are working towards? There are plenty of opportunities to redeem yourself and get back on track :0

Schools can be pretty hard and judgemental; I see it at my school all the time, all because of someones just a little different or doesn't live up to sub-par and I can see this effects you at home being compared to other siblings. Can you speak to them about what's going on? Have they attended uni? Or?

You are trying your best, you are not different to anyone else, you're a beautiful person, and you are indeed as good as everyone else. Don't ever think anything differently.

As I mentioned failing an exam is not the end of the world, I failed plenty, but pushed my self back up in the class work. Do you have any study techniques? Such as in a group or? I'd suggest asking for feedback regarding your failed exam. It's better not to hide the exam from your parents, Don't you agree?

Any issue big or small, it doesn't matter, you've reached out for help, that's the right thing.

I'd like to see you succeed; please keep in contact over the forums.

I really wish to see the best for you Anoninon,

It'll get better 🙂 imagine when you finish.

Connor ❤️

[LavenderTea]

Hey Anoninon,

It sucks that there's so much pressure. Year 11 &12 can be absolutely stressful, you've got grades to worry about and career paths to consider, with pressure from parents and other family members, and all on top of maintaining your social group as well... it's a lot!

The important thing to know is that, if you don't get the subject that you need... it's okay! A lot of what we're told in high school is that you NEED to get these scores and you NEED to do these subjects to get into that course but it's 100% not true. There are a tonne of ways around it, and you can still get into whatever career you want... it just might take a little more time.

I do want to address your sleep... Sleep plays a really important role. If you're not sleeping properly, this can influence your mood, concentration, motivation, and appetite, and it can have snowballing effects.

Staying up later is something that comes with being an adolescent. Over time our sleeping habits change. When we are young, we nap during the day, and we sleep early at night. However, coming into adolescence, with the changes in hormones, and physical changes in our brains, the time when we feel tired gets pushed back. The bad thing about this is that the time we start school doesn't change. This means that you get less sleep which is not great! Typically what will happen is that we will build up what is called a sleep debt, and this is why typically teenagers will sleep in quite late on weekends - they're getting the sleep that they missed out on.

If you are having trouble getting to sleep but you really do want to try to get to sleep earlier, there are a few things you can do that might help...

• Having a healthy sleeping environment is important. This means minimal tech, and minimal distractions in your room. It also means that, if you're a person who studies in your room, this might need to change. If you study in your room, you're training your brain to recognize that environment as a place for your brain to be working. This means that when it comes time to sleep, your brain still wants to work and you find it hard to switch off.
• Routine before bed! This might be as simple as having a cup of tea, or a shower before bed... habits are helpful!
• Exercising at some point during the day! It can help tire you out earlier.

There are also some great tips on the Headspace website that might be worth checking out.

https://www.headspace.org.au/young-people/sleep-fact-sheet/

Hope this helps!