Anxiety first timer...

[Liz90]

Hi,
I've decided to get onto beyondblue as a means of direction, reassurance, even distraction.
I'm a 24 year old uni student, only just completed my first semester.
My mind is CONSTANTLY racing though. I constantly had my phone in my hand, trying to seem keep up with everyone else, comparing myself. If I saw a young pretty thing out partying on fb, I'd go crazy on my phone trying to organise a drinking sesh with "friends", just in order to feel like a carefree 18 year old again. I've had my share of crap relationships, I'm scared to death that I won't be accepted for me?
The constant worry of finances, my house, my mums health, my job, my education etc... All these responsibilities that you really don't even understand until they all hit you like a train as an adult.

Which is what has happened to me!
So many things go on in my head. Constantly. My mind never stops. For the past 6 months I've always felt anxious, but wasn't sure what the hell it was..I just thought I was sick? 
Until this past Thursday happened.
I went to trivia at my local (something I do EVERY thurs with family and friends).
And then it hit me. The worst panic attack. I simply couldn't be there. I fell into a heap in the carpark, could barely compose myself. Never been so scared in my life.
Friday I got worse. Lost it in my drs office, he prescribed an anti depressant that would calm my mind down over time (serotonin). I kept crying "This isnt me! I'm a strong confident person! what is happening to me!"...But I just couldn't cope. I didn't work all weekend (the bar I've worked at for 3 years). I just COULDNT shake this EXTREME anxiety. In an effort to give me a few hours of relief, my mum gave me some of her medication. A quick fix at most. 
The most simple exercises like going to the shops, work, getting the mail have me crippled with fear.
A 7 hr shift last night ended 2.5hrs in when get this, I felt FINE. then my brain said "But how will you feel when you get home?". BOOM. Panic attack from hell.
Today I saw a psychologist, which has left me feeling a TINY bit better.
My biggest fear? Is the fear itself. Will I ever overcome this? Will I EVER be normal? I have a cruise in 3 weeks, will I manage it? The idea of a few cocktails has me panic stricken because I know alcohol and anxiety don't mix.
Is my life as I know it over? I would do ANYTHING to make it go away for good. I hate how I feel. I hate the fear of fear. I cant eat or sleep.

I need to wake up from this nightmare

 

[shad0wings]

Hi Liz!

I know anxiety is very scary and difficult to deal with, but you are doing everything right. Unfortunately it is a challenging illness to control, as it can be very sudden and unpredictable. However a strong-willed, kind and motivated lady like you will have no problems recovering at all. You already have a great head on your shoulders, you seriously have nothing to worry about. More people have anxiety than you know. So, so many people. I know that breaking down and feeling overwhelmed is not a nice feeling, but it is always better to let it out instead of bottling it up. You seem to have a lot on your shoulders, however try not to worry so much (i know it's easier said than done), things will happen if, and when they are meant to.

Think of your cruise as something exciting, not as a burden. Have a look on the internet for breathing techniques, it will definitely help. Also, download an app I recently found, made by ReachOut - called "Breathe". It instructs you on how to breathe properly to calm yourself down.

And you know why there's so much information about anxiety everywhere? Because you are definitely not the only person who has gone through this. Be strong and a lot of help is always around. 

Try to think more about the now, instead of the future. You will get better and you will succeed at life - that's all you need to know! 

Have heaps of fun on your cruise, just relax! (ps. try to avoid alcohol)

~ Taylor

[shad0wings]

Hi Julian!

Sad to hear that you are going through such a rough time at the moment! Google is never a safe place to go when looking for illnesses, because symptoms usually crossover. It all depends on your lifestyle, personality and more. You have done the right thing talking to your family about it, I know that must not have been easy. You have already done the first step and that is getting help, so congrats!! 

Seeing a psychologist is without a doubt the best thing you can do at the moment. Pain is common when it comes to mental illnesses. After all, your brain is the only reason you feel pain when you graze your knee or hit your head, etc. That is why mental illnesses are so difficult to deal with, because your brain controls everything. As your doctors said pain is most likely the anxiety. However seeing a psychologist is your best bet into getting the right information.

Stress really takes it's toll on the body, many people underestimate its effect. Your psychologist will probably prescribe you medication to help you out.

Try googling breathing techniques, there are plenty out there!

If you need any information about anxiety, look at what BeyondBlue has - there's heaps of helpful stuff on this website! It's all reliable information, you will be getting the right stuff. 

You sound like you are really having it rough, I wish all the best for you - trust me you will get through it! 

~ Taylor

[Sophia_Sophia]

Hi Julian,

I'm really sorry to hear you are experiencing anxiety, I know how TERRIBLE it is! But I can also tell you that it definitely won't be like this forever + as weird as it sounds sometimes experiencing such feelings alerts you to ways to live your life better that you wouldn't of uncovered without going through this. 

I know how scary it is going through health issues + looking up symptoms on google so I would definitely recommend keeping off it cause it really only does scare you!! I'm really glad for you that you've been to a specialist + have your health back under control:) 

Your doctors are right, anxiety really does also manifest itself physically. With the muscle/chest pain i can recommend you a few things:

1. Magnesium tablets (I take 4 of these a day so see what works best for you!): magnesium works to relax your muscles + also is helpful for anxiety so it really does work to help the symptom + the cause. Magnesium is also in chocolate so consider it your medicine (:P) to eat chocolate, go for a raw dark chocolate as that is the most rich! 

2. Epsom salt baths: also rich in magnesium plus a long soak in a warm bath is very relaxing. Similarly, if you are close to the ocean try and swim as much as possible as the salt water is also a great source.

3. Yoga: Not only will this help with slowing down your mind/keeping you in the present but it will also feel great for your muscles to stretch out. Search up "brett larkin yoga" on youtube -- I find her classes the best online ones. She has a "heart opening class" which I find nice to do when I experience the chest pain you speak of, it works really well to release the anxiety held in your chest 🙂

In regards to your weight, I can empathise with the weightloss you are experiencing. Try + not worry too much about it if you can, your weight will even back out once your anxiety comes under control. Just make sure you are trying to eat as much nutritious food as possible so you are still feeding your body the vitamins and minerals it needs to be strong. 

With your digestion, the gut and mind has a very strong link so it's v/ common for pppl with anxiety to experience digestive issues. Similarly to your weight, know that this will even back out once you become more in control of your anxiety. It also acts as a flag to alert you when you need to do more of what helps you stay on top of anxiety:) 

I hope this helps and contact me anytime! Best of luck Julian,

Sophia

[Tizlak]

Hi Liz90,

Firstly well done on being able to speak out about your problems thats the first step to recovery. I just need to begin with what you've described is not how your life is going to stay, things will turn and you will get out of the state you are in!

I know it can be hard being a uni student after being used to the highshool 'carefree' life then being stuck into the adult life with responsibilities and things to do that are just too much to handle but don;t let it get you down if you can't do everything all at once. Most people including myself struggle with the transition do try not to be scared off by it and just tackle each problem one by one, because if you think about everything all at once sometimes it can be really overwhelming and bring you down.

Also sometimes when i'm scared there's really nothing to be scared of, sometimes your mind just wanders and makes up its own nightmares and it's really hard to distinguish if your'e really in danger or your mind is making up nonsense. Sometimes it just helps to talk with family and friends when you are scared so they can give you an opinion that is outside your own head if that makes sense? And other times just saying things out loud can make you realize you are not as frightened as it first seemed.

Also I think it might be worthwhile to talk to other people who have overcome panic attacks and how they cope and also to talk to a psychiatrist so they can give you some personal help that will be beneficial to you.

Hope i've helped and best of luck tackling your fears, I know you can overcome them!
-Tizlak