Anxiety confused

[Stevedonk]

Hey my names Steve I’m 23 year old male it’s a long story but last year I ended a 5 year relationship towards the end of it I was feeling amazing all my self and felt like I had to go out and attack the world! So I were single for 4 -5 months after ending it and was doing single stuff with mates but noticed that I was slowly loosing interest in everything I once loved like everything!! The main thing I noticed is that I have lost interest in females and have no sexual attraction to them (always have loved them and still do) if I find a attractive female in town I don’t even think twice to look and feel no emotion to them? As the year has gone on my head has been a big mess it’s making me go crazy and really depressed, last couple of weeks I have been freaking out thay I am gay? Nothing wrong with being gay but from what I was to all this confusion I’m freaking out! Like I used to have such a big ego and so much energy but now I feel like I am in a big deep dark hole with a cloud over me constanly thinking and thinking the worst I know I’m not gay but does this relate to depression and anxiety? Thank you

[white knight]

Hi Steve, welcome

A confusing time for you gor sure.

Each of us humans is subjected to stigma of some sort. What we lose in all this ptessure is our nature, who we are, compared to what we "should" be.

Thankfully its a changing world for the better.

I think you might need to turn your thoughts around from fear to a journey. Fear of confusion to a journey of what you naturally feel.

Id suspect your "release" from your relationship and its last few months of conflict might have you second guessing your sexuality.

My suggestion is to firstly relax about it. Go on a few dates with females and see how you feel afterwards. General insecurity could be playing a part as could lack of confidence.

But there is no reason to panic. Whatever the outcome you are not abnormal. You are normal for you.

And thats nothing to be afraid of.

Tony WK

[romantic_thi3f]

Hey Stevedonk,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for your post.

This sounds like this is a really confusing time for you and I can see why you'd be questioning your sexuality given how it's so unusual for you to suddenly not have any interest in females.

Here's what I think though. 5 years is a really long time to be in a relationship. Whether it's a simple or a complicated breakup, it's still a bit of an adjustment to suddenly not have that partner/significant other around. Honestly I'd be quite surprised if people didn't feel that 'adjustment' after, even if it was a toxic relationship. Not sure of the details of your relationship but there's a lot of things that become habitual; seeing them when they got home from work, texting/calling, eating/going to the movies with them. All of a sudden that's kind of just not there anymore.

I agree with Tony WK in that a lot of this is probably just due to the release of that relationship. I want to be clear though;- just because you felt amazing afterwards doesn't mean that you didn't need to 'adjust' to single life. Sometimes it can be instant, other times it can kind of bobble around. From what I'm seeing it sounds like it's kind of sinking it now. Maybe it's that kind of delay that makes you think it's something else, like your sexuality.

Certainly though if you do have a history of depression or anxiety it's important for you to be aware of that, but it doesn't necessarily mean that suddenly you do have these conditions. How do you feel about the idea it could just be that 'release' ? Does this make sense to you?