Anxiety and depression affecting all aspects of my life

[JWolf17]

Hey everyone.

I'm 18, male, and in my first year of university.

I've recently been dealing with levels of anxiety and depression that I've never dealt with before. I've always tended to have good days and bad days, and I've never felt as though I've been completely stable emotionally, but now the bad days are turning into bad weeks and my moods and anxious feelings are getting worse than ever before. At my worst, I've considered self-harm, but I haven't gone through with it yet.

I only have a couple of friends that I feel comfortable talking to about this, and even with them I'm beginning to feel like I'm becoming an annoyance. I feel like I treat them more like therapists than friends, and that's not how I want things to be.

I haven't said anything to any of my family members. I don't feel comfortable talking to them about this. They're a great family (I live at home with my 2 parents and 3 of my brothers. 2 of my brothers have moved out), but mental issues have never been brought up by anyone. The idea of my family finding out scares me, so I hide it from them as much as I can.

I recently had my first ever counselling session with the counsellor at uni, but it didn't really help. I ended up feeling uncomfortable, so I didn't really tell him the full extent of the issues I've been having. 

 The adjustment to uni has been difficult. I don't have many friends, and the friends I do have seem to be becoming more distant. I want to make new friends, whilst keeping my old friends close, but I have never been good at socialising and I have no idea how to talk to people I don't know. I've never had a girlfriend either, and I can't help but feel completely unattractive. My self-esteem is at an all time low. If I can't like myself, then what reason does anyone else have to like me? Along with that, I've been falling behind with assignments because I can't motivate myself. I've also experienced heavy anxiety during lectures, at some stages finding it hard to breathe properly, feeling really uncomfortable and just wanting to leave as soon as possible.

I'm wondering whether my anxiety and depression are on a clinical level. I'm feeling hesitant to get help. What should I do?

[Paul]

Hey JWolf17, welcome to Beyond Blue Forums.

It's awesome you're here. just talking about how you are feeling can help you feel better as you've discovered with talking to friends. Sometimes as you've also mentioned, if depression and anxiety are clinical then it might be time to consider some alternative approaches.

University can be a big adjustment, so can anything but what you have mentioned about tending to always have good days and bad days  has me feeling again like some alternative approaches might be the way to go.

It's fantastic you have a great relationship with your family.

You've mentioned not having many friends, having difficulty socialising, not having a girlfriend and feeling a bit low about yourself including thoughts of self harm and also that depression and anxiety have gotten worse lately. There's a lot going on and it can be hard to know where to start.

I think the best place to start is on how you feel. Sometimes it takes a few tries at finding a counsellor or psychologist who you feel comfortable with to be able to open up. It's worth persisting.

Your GP might be a good first place to start, they can make a determination of what the next steps in feeling better might be.

I've found that multiple approaches work well. Talking to friends, having professional help through your GP or a counsellor you feel comfortable with and finally reducing stress and anxiety triggers as much as possible.

Part of the multiple approach is learning what the triggers are so that you can avoid them.

Of course this forum is here for you all the time to let us know how you are felling and also how you are going if you decide to visit your GP and explore further help.

Take care, hope to hear from you soon.

Paul

[skw]

Hey JWolf17,

 although I don't have any advice as such, but the way you are feeling, you are not alone as I feel exactly the same way. I recently just started year 11 and have never felt to miserable in my life. I also feel exactly the same way going to a counselling session, as I feel like I connect with none of them and it ends up being awkward that it does't help at all and feels like a waste of money.  Sometimes I distance myself from my friends, as I also feel like at times I'm an annoyance to them.  All I can say is pursue with counselling, as it can only get better because it is there job to help people like us overcome these obstacles that we face. I also suggest not being too hard on yourself, as really ourself are our  hardest critics.I know it is hard as I constantly put myself down, but I realise it makes me feel worse than what I really need to be. Do things that make you feel good. For example I sometimes go for a walk or get some exercise or get out of the house for a few, as I find it relaxing and I find that I feel better about myself.

As far as uni goes, if you are still getting heavy anxiety in your classes, I suggest talking to your parents or lectures. Also think about if uni is the best option for you right now. I know some people think they have to go straight away, but in reality you don't, as you can basically go at any age which is what I have realised. 

 I don't know if any of this helps, but I also face similar things and just wanted you to know you are not alone. Hope it all goes well for you (:

[Harls]

Try think positive. Try to be open to your family and say whats going on and how you feel (if your okay with talking with them about that stuff). Try talk to your friends about things that you like doing and what ever else you talk about (good and bad things). Exercise and a Healthy diet is always a good way to make you feel better about yourself. Also motivational quotes to help motivate you. I don't know if any of these things will help you but they help me. I understand how you feel. I have both Anxiety and Depression