Anti-depressants, Depression and Apprehensiveness

[Karv94]

Hi guys,

So I've recently started taking antidepressants - my psychologist says my behaviour shows that I'm dealing with major depressive disorder and anxiety mostly.

Tbh, I'm in a lot of denial about the fact of labelling myself as someone who is depressed - I think mostly because I feel a lot of pressure from family to "be okay". For example, this whole year, I've felt the need to keep pushing forward with meaningless jobs, even though I have no idea where I'm going since graduating uni earlier this year.

Even when I finally told my mum about taking meds yesterday - the first thing she said "be careful not to get addicted". I know she means well - but I can never show a sense of weakness at home - let alone open up to say I'm broken and hurt. Its unfortunate, but thats just how my home is.

I want better for myself and my future - but being in this slump as been undeniably hard. Ive tried to do it the natural way - positive self talk, exercise etc but the effect never last long.

I just hope I'm not giving in by taking a pill to help fix my problem (< I know that's stupid to say..antidepressants aren't sign of weakness) - but in my small little world I feel like I'm being weak due to continuous anxiety I have of other people's perception of me.

I guess I'm just having trouble coming to terms with stigma and dealing with the fact that things have happened to me which have led me to this state of mind. Has anyone else felt the same way?

[MsPurple]

HI Karv94 and welcome to the forums.

I myself take antidepressants for my GAD and depression. As you said there is nothing to be ashamed of however unfortunately there is still a stigma. Antidepressants are not an addictive drug. I feel like they are less addictive than panadol. They are there as a tool to help you through rough patches (like panadol is for a headache). Now you need to address the issue of why you are experiencing depression (like dehydration causing a headache) to help overcome it.

I struggled for so long to deal with the fact I had an chronic anxiety disorder. I put my head in the sand for years. I got so unwell that I didn't have a choice. I could either get help or continue to struggle and that road was very grim. Since getting help I feel so much better. I can cope with everyday life and I have hope. I am no longer ashamed I have a mental illness. I am proud I am strong enough to overcome it. I am proud of who I am. My mental illness doesn't determine who I am.

Mental illness (and even mental health) is like the ocean. It can be calm and peaceful. It can also get a bit wavy. People without a mental illness may experience some rough water but nothing major. Those with mental illness experience rips, extreme waves and rough water. Now without help you may drown. You maybe able to struggle but struggle to get breath. Asking for help is like someone throwing you a surf board (e.g. taking antidepressants). It will help you stay afloat but it will not be enough. You need to be taught how surf and deal with the rough waters will help you battle the sea (e.g. seeing a psychologist, dealing with what causes your depression/anxiety). Now you can surf the rough waters. Now like the changing weather the water may go back to calm and stay that way for a long time. But now you know how to surf if it gets rough again (e.g. depression comes back) you can deal with it and not struggle as much as you did the first time.

I hope this has been helpful. Sometimes not worrying about the label is helpful. I just see the psychologist to check in and to keep my brain well. It doesn't matter what it's for.

[Jessicatherese94]

Hi Karv, there is absolutely no shame in taking anti-depressants. I think it's actually excellent that you're taking them to get through this period in your life. I don't believe they're an addictive drug, and you don't have to be on them for long. Sometimes people just need to take them for a period of about six months, some people take them for six years. Rest assured it's quite a normal thing to do and a lot of people take them. You're definitely not giving in for taking them, especially if you've tried everything. Sometimes people take them for a certain amount of time and then gradually take less and less until they feel okay. Medication combined with therapy is the best way for you to feel better, so I would suggest you keep seeing your psychologist in conjunction w the antidepressants. As cliche as it is, it's okay to not be okay. But you will eventually be okay. J.