Am I just being dramatic?

[Bella8]

I don't know how to clearly write this, in fact it took a while to work up the courage to even make an account. I guess I just want to finally know whether I do have social anxiety, or am I just blowing things out of proportion and should just shut up and get over it?

I dread phone calls, especially customer service. I will sit there thinking about what I'm going to say for the longest time before working up the courage to make the call. Sometimes I'll write down what I want to say. During said phone call I'll be sweating, heart thumping loudly, and my voice gets all strange and croaky.

Whenever I'm alone and out in public I think everybody is looking at me. If a stranger on the street speaks to me I'll sometimes freeze up or stutter and start sweating. Then after they leave I'll start rewinding the encounter and wondering if I said or did anything stupid like god, they think I'm a weirdo. It could just be a "Hello, nice weather today!" and I'd still stress over it.

Negative social experiences and rejection have made things a lot worse these past few years. The only two times I managed to land a job  interview I was rejected, and one of the jobs I really badly wanted. Since then I have never tried to apply for part-time work because I just don't want to experience that feeling of rejection ever again.

Socialising is basically me thinking I've said something stupid every second line. Then walking away believing they don't like me. Eye contact is hard for me but I try my best because I know it's rude and distant not to, but I find that when I'm with a friend and talking to someone new, the said person always gives eye contact to my friend and never to me. So then I start feeling inferior and stop talking, then I go home and feeling like I'm boring and unwanted. This has happened so many times I've simply stopped trying to make new friends already. It gets tiring.

I can't talk to authority without making a fool out of myself. I constantly think they're judging me for being an idiot, especially teachers. These past few years in university I have felt the worst. I can't find the courage to seek counseling or talk to a GP or anything, just this forum. And there's no way I'm telling my family or friends. I just don't know what to do anymore, I'm sorry for letting out all my thoughts. My case is obviously nowhere near as serious as the ones in this forum, I don't get panic attacks or vomit or anything. I probably don't even have an anxiety problem sorry.

[bee27rose]

Hi Bella8,

This is my first post on here,and I have taken months just to work up the courage to make an account.What you said about your anxiety is what I have felt my entire life,not feeling comfortable in social situations,feeling as though everyone is staring at me,judging me and my awkward conversations and behaviour.

I always thought I was just being stupid,that there was no reason to be this way.But nearly 4 years ago,after suffering from postnatal depression,I was diagnosed with anxiety and agoraphobia.Though I struggle with myself still,I sought help from a doctor I trusted,who referred me to a counsellor,I've been practising yoga and learnt all I can about my problems and my life has improved dramatically.

I found the hardest part at first was talking about it,worrying about being judged,but the first step is talking it through with someone.

Its hard,but you want to help yourself Bella8,so I hope you can talk it through with someone.

Good luck,you will be okay,its just one small step at a time.

[Zeal]

Hi Bella,

Welcome to the forum! Anxiety comes in many forms, and you deserve to have help.

I was shy and awkward during my childhood and teen years. Like you, I felt as though everyone was looking at me, and even judging me. I was diagnosed with OCD (an anxiety disorder) at 13, and it became severe. Thanks to medical help and personal experience, my OCD is now mild. For the first time in my life, I’m not the “shy girl” anymore. I haven’t changed who I am; I have just become the person that was hiding beneath that shyness. I’m still not overly confident, but I have enough confidence to make friends and show my real self. About two years ago was when I started overcoming my shyness and social anxiety.

I got my first job at 18, at a local health food store. I worked two days a week. At this time I was taking 6 months off from uni after realising I didn’t enjoy my degree. I got anxious when customers entered the store, especially when I was asked questions. I found using the cash register difficult. My boss was nice, and would demonstrate what to do. I was fired over the phone after just 2 months. My boss said I wasn’t assertive enough. She actually apologised to me and was very kind, because she knew I tried my best. However, being fired took ages to get over.

I have been babysitting regularly since I was 18. I also applied as a volunteer in April last year. I go on group activities with about 6-8 kids on some Saturdays. These youth all have some form of intellectual disability. As I am a volunteer (not fully qualified), I accompany a staff member. I really enjoy doing this. With the same organisation, I mentor a 13 year old girl who has social difficulties. We spend time together one-on-one once a fortnight. Volunteering has improved my self-belief and overall happiness.

I shared some of my story with you so you don’t feel alone, and can see there’s hope! Now, back to you! Firstly, you should make an appointment with your GP. Tell them about your anxiety, and share anything else you’re worried about.  He/she can refer you to a counsellor or psychologist. Also, telling your family a little about how you feel is a good idea. Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed about. After you’ve been to your GP I recommend going to your uni counselling service, which is free!

Best wishes,

SM

[MisterM]

Hi Bella8,

That sounds like me, I was told I have generalised anxiety disroder and recently social anxiety.

I believe I blew my recent job interview 2 weeks ago as I got all anxious and stuttered my way through the interview.

I suggest seeing a GP.