Advice on how to navigate struggling to keep my well being up while trying to support someone

[Laura07]

Hi there, I have an issue that I have never been able to fully deal with, and I would like some opinions or help from someone who may have gone through the same or similar situation. Around 5 years ago my older brother ended up being diagnosed with psychosis, specifically schizoaffective disorder. Since then, it has been a rollercoaster of him being in and out of the psych ward and being medicated and then taken off medication and relapsing with episodes. It has been a very big struggle for my family, and it has brought down the family dynamic drastically. Even I have never found a way to deal with it properly. When I was in year 9-10, so around 2-3 years after his diagnosis, I started to severely struggle. I would have panic attacks, and I couldn’t focus when I was at school. School wasn’t a place I wanted to be, but neither was my home, and I always felt alone because my friends couldn’t relate to me, so I felt even more alone. It took a big toll on my mental health, and I never said anything to my parents because I didn’t want them to worry about me as well as my brother. Even now, being in year 12, I haven’t properly learnt ways to help myself. I try to ignore it as much as I can until I explode.  

I would love for anyone who has gone through something similar to reach out and give me any advice or tips on how they have dealt with it. 

[Sophie_M]

Hi Laura07,

Thank you so much for sharing something so personal and challenging. It takes a lot of courage to open up, and we want you to know that your feelings are completely valid. What you’ve been going through sounds incredibly heavy, and it’s completely understandable that it has taken a toll on your mental health.

Living with a loved one who has ongoing mental health concerns can be truly overwhelming, let alone when you're also managing the stress of Year 12 on top of this. Especially when it feels like no one around you can relate, it can be an incredibly isolating experience. Please know that you are not alone in this. When so much care is being directed towards one sibling, it can be hard to feel worthy of taking up space, too. We are here to remind you that your feelings are valid and equally deserving of support.

Even though you didn’t want to add worry to your parents, your feelings matter just as much. If you haven’t already, it could be worth talking to a school counsellor or other mental health professional. They’re there for you, and you don’t have to carry this alone. There are some great support options for younger people, including:

• Headspace: Chat with a clinician online or over the phone on 1800 650 890 (3pm-10pm every day). They have some great self-guided, interactive activities, too.
• Kids Helpline: Available 24/7 for ages 5–25. You can call 1800 55 1800 or use their webchat to talk to a counsellor.
• ReachOut: ReachOut have a range of resources including online chat with a peer worker and guidance on supporting family members through mental health challenges while also looking after yourself

There’s also our lovely Support Service team, on 1300 22 4636 or online.

In the meantime, how has this past week been for you? Has there anything that you have been able to do for yourself to honour how you have been feeling or lighten your day, even a little bit? Sometimes those tiny moments can make a big difference.

Thank you again for sharing. It is no doubt hard to reach out and took a lot of bravery to share here with us. We hope that you can treat yourself with kindness as you navigate through this. We are here for you whenever you need. 💙

Kind regards
Sophie M