Adjusting to First Full-Time Job and the Weekend

Wanderlust123 · ‎23-09-2018

Hi all,

I have just started working my first full-time (Monday-Friday) job and I'm finding it hard to adjust to.

My biggest problem is the weekends. I have spent the past 6 years working weekends, but now I am feeling lost having the weekends free. I feel like I need to be making the most of the weekends, going out and seeing friends; and I keep worrying other people have much more exciting weekends than me. I don't have many friends to catch up with on the weekend and whenever I hear of other people spending time with their friends I feel jealous.

I feel completely different now that I am working full time, like I have forgotten who I am and I am not doing the things I normally love to do. I am judging myself more and comparing myself to other people. I am putting pressure on myself to adjust to this 'new life' but I am losing myself in the process which is causing anxiety and stress to myself.

I have started meditating but am looking for support if anybody else has felt this way?

Your stories and suggestions are welcome 🙂

Quercus · ‎23-09-2018

Hi Wanderlust123 and welcome to the forums,

I do feel for you testing out mon to fri work for the first time. It isn't my cup of tea either. I'm definately a shift worker at heart.

Do your workplace offer any flexibility? For example starting early and finishing early? Or perhaps working extra hours so you can have a four day week? You never really know unless you ask.

It is ok to prefer to work some of the weekend. Everyone is different. I find trying the weekend painful. Everyone else is out and it's busy and I end up making excuses to just stay home. Once it bothered me that I was boring compared to my peers but eventually I realised we can pretend to like what everyone else does and be miserable or we can seek out things that make us feel happy. Cutting down social media helps too. It's easy to think everyone is having the time of their lives. But it isn't real life.

I'm curious what sort of things do you enjoy doing? You mentioned that work has stopped you doing these things. How can you find a way to make time again? Are these things not possible on the weekend? Or night classes?

Also I do wonder how long have you been at your new job? I found the start the worst. Utterly draining. But you do adjust in time. Worst case you give it time and a good try and if this job isn't for you chat to management about a change of roster or perhaps try something else. We spend a great deal of our lives working so it does pay to have employment that doesn't drain you.

I'm sure others will reply in time. I just wanted you to know you are heard and how you feel is valid.

Nat

Wanderlust123 · ‎25-09-2018

Hi Nat,

Thank you for taking the time to respond to me.

I know I shouldn't be too hard on myself because it is a big adjustment from being a shift worker to a Mon-Fri worker. And you're right, it is best to be true to yourself than pretend to like what others do. Sometimes I feel boring compared to others but I need to learn to not compare myself to others (get off social media haha) and love myself.

I think I am just struggling to adjust to changes of my free time. I enjoy cooking but have been too tired to come home and try new recipes. I also started playing basketball in the evening, I used to play when I was younger, which has been enjoyable for the most part; however even that was overwhelming a bit because it was a lot of change at once.

I've only been in the job for 5 weeks so I know I need to be kinder on myself.

Thanks for listening 🙂

Quercus · ‎25-09-2018

Hi again Wanderlust,

Thanks for replying. I do love it when a new member returns to write some more 😊.

I had a bit of a giggle when you wrote about needing to learn to love yourself and stop comparing yourself to others. Easy in theory but it is something we all seem to struggle with regardless.

In the staying well section there are two long threads which might help you to join in. Both are by Blondeguy (Paul) who is very welcoming of new posters. One is called 'do you love yourself?' and the other discusses the pros and cons of Facebook. Feel free to join in if they appeal to you.

I agree after work sometimes the last thing we want is to go out even if it is to something you enjoy like basketball. Perhaps you could try every second week until you have adjusted to your hours?

Another thought... How is your sleep routine? I used to get less sleep when I was working in the week. So when the weekend arrived I was too tired and drained so I stayed home and did nothing. The downside was feeling like my life had become work and sleep and nothing else.

I hope you find your feet soon.

Nat

Wanderlust123 · ‎26-09-2018

Thank you for recommending those threads, I will check them out.

I have surprisingly adjusted my sleeping pattern well (10pm-6am), but I am finding I can't sleep in on weekends anymore (totally devastating haha)!

My goal this week is to try and take more time for me. I was finding I was working during the day, cooking dinner as soon as I got home then preparing for work the next day before going to bed - I was getting a bit strained. This week, besides playing basketball Monday evening which was fun, I have been coming home and relaxing for half an hour or so before starting dinner and I am feeling good about it 🙂

On another note, do you have any tips on initiating friendships with people you work with or even acquaintances? I like the people I work with but I am unsure how to take the next step of seeing them outside of work.