About to be excluded from uni...

[luckycharms]

Hi there...

So I'm in my fifth year at uni now and I'm about to turn 23 next year.

My uni has me on academic conduct and if I failed any more units on the semester I would be excluded from my course for a year then I would need to re-apply to be granted to let back in. I just checked my results and I only passed one unit out of 2 so I'm definitely getting excluded for next year and I've had many warnings before but I feel really upset now that I just keep going on the same cycle wherein I want to do better but always end up stuffing up and handing in assignments late and struggling but not reaching out to anyone. And now that the results are out I feel even more sad that I've gotten to this point.

For the longest time I realised that something was wrong and I don't feel 100% with my mental health and only now have I decided to see my GP (I have an appointment next week and I'm really nervous and unsure what to even say). My parents are quite strict but when I tell them that I might have underlying depression and anxiety they say "Go see a GP then so you can finally pass uni." This ends up making me feel sad cause I'm trying my best and too hard that I feel like when they say to seek help its merely so I can finish my degree when in turn the more I go to uni at this state the more crap I feel. I already feel bad that I'm failing so much uni and now I need to take a year long exclusion because of it.

I know the Uni excluding me is may be a good thing because I need the year to seek out proper mental care for myself but at the same time... I feel bad that I'm so close to finishing uni at 22 about to be 23 and yet I made so much mistakes and all my friends are graduating at this age while i'm still stuck going nowhere...

[Jessicatherese94]

Hi luckycharms, I'm really proud of you for going to see a GP. There are so many services that your GP can offer you for university. For instance, at most universities there's disability services and they can give you extensions on assignments, extra time in exams and lots of support if you're suffering from something like depression or anxiety. And like you said - this has given you the opportunity to focus on your mental health and maybe a long break from university is exactly what you need. It's really important not to compare yourself to your friends, we're all on different paths. For some perspective - I just finished a degree and have recently started another in psychology. I'm also 22 and will be at university till I'm about 26/27. A lot of my friends at university are in their mid 30s and have despised their career since they graduated at 22 and have finally decided to pursue something they love in their 30s. There really isn't a rush to do any of these things. Just because you're finishing later doesn't mean you are a failure or any less amazing than your friends, I really want you to know that. Again, good on you for speaking to your GP and I'd love to hear how it goes. Universities are generally so supportive of anything that is going on in your life and I'm sure talking to your GP will alleviate many of your worries. Wishing you all the best, write back any time.

[Mathy]

Hi Luckycharms and welcome to the BB forums,

Firstly, I want to congratulate you for continuing to go to Uni, do assessments, submit them AND have the courage to check your results.

I went back to Uni in my 40s to complete a degree, did Honours and went on to start a PhD. 2 years into that, MH issues caused me to lose that opportunity. I taught bridging students for 3 years, and I always admired their tenacity to try so hard, despite struggling with their work, being poor or having insufficient time because they had to work in order to eat.

Secondly, like Jessicatherese94, I want to congratulate you on making that appointment with the GP. It’s a great first step. I also like how you’re prepared to use your possible year of exclusion to heal yourself.

However, one thing I would be talking to that GP about (in addition to everything else) is a certificate to take to Uni and a) get you a resit or b) prevent your exclusion (if this is what you would like).

Jessicatherese94 is correct - Unis provide lots of support to students who are struggling with MH issues - you can get additional time and consideration in order to help you complete your studies - MH issues are a disability.

You haven’t mentioned whether what you are studying is what you want to do. Is it? Because, if it isn’t then please don’t think you’ve wasted a whole lot of $$ and time, because IF you chose to go in a different direction at Uni, then some of what you have studied can be re-cycled through recognition of prior learning. If you feel like this, then you need to see a Student Counsellor who specialises in “degree swapping”. Even if you thought TAFE might be where you want to go, those subjects you’ve done can probably be incorporated though recognition of prior learning.

I feel for you, there is so much pressure on young people to “know what they want to be” at the wrong age - that’s my opinion anyway.

I really hope you get back to us after that appointment with the GP and let us know how you’re going, cheers M 🙂

[kingsalmon]

I feel you...I'm nearly 25 and had to take leave from uni because I just wasn't handling it. I keep seeing people from high school at their jobs or with their babies in strollers and their husband.....Here's me congratulating myself for having a shower once a week.

Have you ever talked to the disability section at your uni? Every place I go, people pester me to get myself connected with the disability section as soon as possible. Not sure how much they can do for you right now but when you go back to uni, being connected with them makes it easier to get extensions on work.

Also tell them about how mental health has affected your work even though you weren't diagnosed at the time. Again I'm not sure if they can even do anything there but I've learned that things like that are always worth mentioning. You might get those fails appealed and the uni might change its mind about that exclusion. Or maybe not... Each person is handled differently because each situation is different so you gotta ask.

[geoff]

hi Luckycharms, well everything that has been said by those on top of me has been great.
You're 23, therefore, your parents don't a say in what you do and for them to say 'Go see a GP then so you can finally pass uni', they should have not even mentioned this, it's got nothing to do with them what you decide to do or because you're not mentally well, you're an adult.
The first thing that you must do is to go and see your doctor, but I say this in a caring way and not as though I want you to just to pass uni.
All your friends are not struggling with an MI that's why they have been able to move on, but without any doubt they would be in the same situation as you are if they had MI, forget what they are doing it's not consequential here, you just need all the help you can get, and please if you need our help we are always here for you, so please let us know. Geoff.