Hi everyone, I'm just having a bit of stress about going back to school soon.
So, when I say stress about people at school, it's not as though they're bullying me or anything like that, but I just don't really want to have to interact with them very much. I know that that may sound a bit weird or even stuck up, but it seems that there's so much much drama and consequences that come with having friends at school that I would rather just disconnect from it all. I've felt as though recently I've forced myself into relationships (by that I mean both friendships and actual relationships) with other people to try and feel apart of the class, but now I'm scared of the pressure to be super close to these people and be super invested in the relationship. Now I kind of regret forming these relationships, and I wish that I could just go back to school, focus really hard on my school work, not be super close to anyone (and be alone when I want to) and not be judged for it! Because I know that if I just disconnect from others next term, I'm going to be judged really hard and I would probably end up in more drama than in the first place.
I feel as though I'm better off not being close to anyone in my class than forcing myself into relationships that end up just causing me more anxiety and pain than just avoiding them entirely; It feels as though these relationships are more bother than they're worth.
I've been talking to my family about it, and they just seem to think that I'm exaggerating and that I'm just sooking, and that it'll be fine once I actually go. I worry whether that's true and that I'm just being a drama queen and causing unnecessary stress, but I also worry that I'm not exaggerating and it really will be as bad as I think it will be.
I'm sorry that this post is so messy and rant-y, but I just needed to let all of that out. If anyone has any advice, that'd be great. Thank you for reading.
-Cerise
