17 and lost?

[Weiss_May]

Well i dont normally do this but... ive had depression since i was 8yrs old and im 17 now, and since its been off and on, i feel lost most of the time, like im missing something and ive tried to figure it out and i just can't.

I've read a few post on here by people, they dont completely match how i feel besides this one post which i keep going back to read because its exactly how i feel.

I dont feel emotions and if i do it doesnt last long anyway, i dont get sad,angry, happy or anything really, i dont have self pity or any of it.. i honestly dont care how someone else feels, even if they are in pain in front of me.. i hate talking to people.. anything to do with social interaction is a waste of time to me.

I've had a few relationships but i seem to get bored of them easily, i would fall in love with the person and then it would slip away, and i have hurt quite a few people by it. i dont know what else to say uhh

[quirkywords]

Weiss May,

Welcome to the forum and thanks for writing your post that explains how you feel.

Some people think depression is about feeling sad but it can be about feeling numb and feeling nothing. You describe it so well. People reading your post will relate to what you say.

What does feeling lost mean to you?

How would you like things to change ?

I ask questions to help me u derstand , butnif you don’t want to answer them that is fine.

Quirky

[Weiss_May]

Hey Quirky,

I normally say depression is just a word for people to blame there disappointments on, or just a word to blame for feeling a certain way because they cant handle life.

Feeling lost is like being surrounded by the people that love you and want the best for you except its not real, its like your a ghost, or in a separate world from everyone but then again they can interact with you.

Well that's what it feels like to me, I often feel lost or separate from the world because I tend to think that everything I am doing is wrong but from growing up in a dysfunctional family with no real role models, you would wonder why.

Weiss

[continuousventer]

Hi Weiss

I'm currently 20 years studying at university. This semester, I studied a Psychology unit. I don't know if you've heard of Erik Erikson's theory and one of the stages of it is identity vs role confusion. It's where teenagers try to adopt different roles in order to figure themselves out and solve the crisis. If they don't, they end up confused about themselves.

It is too relatable because I don't know who I am.

Does it concern you that you don't feel anything? What makes you think you don't feel anything?

I can relate with growing up in a dysfunctional family because of that, I've developed these schemas that aren't good for me. I distance myself from other people. I feel like the relationships I've formed isn't real. I also feel like things are fake and the things that people who care for me say are fake. I need to stop thinking this because I feel too alone in this world.

On a side note, I remember when I had to do NAPLAN and there was this question about writing something about a role model. I was basically screwed because while growing up, I never had a role model.