Hi all, I’m new to this forum. I’m 55 yrd old and been in a relationship for the past year. Before that I was single for 14 yrs and very happy.
I left a marriage to a violent alcoholic (Who also had affairs).... after 20 years and swore I would not be with an alcoholic ever again!
i was happy being on my own, if I wasn’t in a relationship, I couldn’t get my heart broken, right?!
i tried online dating, I had some nice dates but no spark from me. My last date was actually a friend of some people that I know. They all said he is a good guy, although I didn’t feel an attraction, he did seem like a nice guy. One girl told me he does like a drink and he needs to cut back. So I ignored that response flag! 🙈
over the year, he has not really gone out of his way for this relationship. I’m a people pleaser so put in way more than I should have. He could not be bothered coming to my house to see me, I would always run to his. A few times I turned up, he was passed out drunk on his verandah in his chair. I knew what I was doing was wrong, I didn’t listen to my gut!
My father died this year, 2 weeks later my dog died suddenly. There was no support, no flowers, he didn’t even attend my dads funeral. I felt so unsupported 😢
During covid, we really lived together as I was there daily. I would cook and clean, we got along great. I saw that he actually drank more than what he claimed. I ignored this again, I was just happy of he would spend some time with me. We would pretty much go to bed after dinner.... he would sit out in his shed on a milk crate and drink... a lot!
I moved in with him and nothing changed, he would say he had phone calls and continued to sit out in his shed drinking and watching YouTube. I felt so lonely, I hated it! I had major neck surgery, he said he would look after me, he didn’t step up, he actually sat out in his shed and drank even more! I felt so let down by him, I gave my all to this relationship.
I left a few weeks ago, he called me and promised to give up drinking, he loves me and was sorry for how he didn’t step up.I fell for his empty words again (many times this has happened) We were to go on a date on the Saturday night, he cancelled, he said he wanted to work on himself, it’s not goodbye, he needs to give up the drink to have a happy life with me. It broke my heart when I found out that he hasn’t stopped drinking!! I ended it, I said I’m done and don’t contact me again. I know he has a disease, but I just can’t do this anymore 😭😔
