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The Long Road

Helvicius
Community Member

I'm 66. I am a retired professional. When I was 40 I contracted Ross River Fever, ended up with Chronic Fatigue. My GP told me to get over it! I got a new GP. Then I fractured a vertebrae. We had a 4yr old son & a brand new daughter, a brand new home and interest rates went up every month. Medication didn't help. My poor partner!!! She finally dragged me of to a psychologist who explained my condition. It seems funny but I had no idea I was depressed. I had no idea about anything. I lived in a black hole for over 2 years, don't remember much at all.

The psych gave me simple tools that I use to this day, stand tall, head held high and a bunch of other stuff. With support from the above mentioned and my marvelous boss I "got better".

Over the years I've had 3 nervous breakdowns and a few less serious episodes.

In 2011 I was divorced, had surgery for prostate cancer, changed towns, bought a large house which I share with my beautiful daughter and reinvented myself. The next 4 years were the best of my life. Then the cancer returned, I had radiation therapy which doesn't seem to have worked. That doesn't really concern me by itself. I am a musician with arthritic fingers, I have a herniated disc pressing on my sciatic nerves. For the last 4 years I have enjoyed acting as Treasurer for a large Community Service Organisation but now my mind can't cope. I can't even walk my beautiful dogs.

Injury and depression aside I have been physically, intellectually and politically active all of my adult life. I have much to be grateful for but now I am just tired and apathetic.

13 Replies 13

Hi Mary,

I don't have many friends, never felt the need but those that I do have are very accepting and supportive.

I had horrendous problems years ago with a very well known antidepressant. I woke up this morning feeling "normal" whatever that is for the first time in ages. It was quite a surprise, I can't help being a little sceptical.

I used to sing in bands but I'm over the pub/club scene and lugging all the gear around. These days I'm happy to do the odd guest spot. I also do a few fundraisers. My vocal coach loves setting me challenges, anything out of my comfort zone, from metal to opera. She was shocked the other day and demanded complete rest. So at the moment I'm confining myself to Sinatra type stuff and playing the guitar (very badly).

I started singing in a choir, not my scene at all. The thing about amateur choirs I discovered is good solo voices are rare but average voices sound good harmonizing. Also, anybody with a good voice has a vocal coach, Celine Dion has a vocal coach as did Pavarotti. You may be amazed at how good your voice may be with some training.

Do what you love. I am starting to realise, helping others certainly makes one feel good but looking after number one feels so much better.

Chris W.

MarkJT
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Chris, that is brilliant that you are going well and have the support to match it.

Like you, I have fantastic support and certainly makes a difference.

Even though you are going well, feel free to keep posting your thoughts, ideas and questions. I have found being on here when both down and up is helpful in the same but slightly different ways.

When I am down, it gives me some satisfaction that even though i am not feeling that well, I am helping others and boosts my self esteem somewhat.

When I am feeling up, it helps to consolidate my self esteem which helps me overcome the low days.

Great to have you on board here in the forums.

Mark.

Helvicius
Community Member

Hi Mark,

I agree, it's great to be able to communicate with "like minded" people. In the past I have had to deal with self esteem issues. These days the people I associate with are generous and positive, my best friend, mentor, new Lions President and retired manager of a large auto franchise is always there for me and has taught me things I never would have thought possible.

I've never really considered the prospect of anxiety until now, I learnt how to be confident, outspoken and well researched. What I have been experiencing of late is shock. Shock that I couldn't face tasks that I should be able to do in my sleep. I ask myself, what am I doing, I have no idea. Of course at my age there was the fear that dementia had me. Luckily the meds seem to have largely eased my symptoms.

It is indeed a privilege to be able to share our thoughts and experiences on this wonderful forum.

Chris W.

MarkJT
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Steve, you have learnt to be confident, outspoken and well researched there is absolutely zero to say that you will not learn to live with anxiety.

Your meds are serving you well and in time you will learn your triggers, learn how to control them and learn how to live with it.

Just another one of life's boomerangs that get thrown our way and I am supremely confident that you will smash it.

Mark.