Someone Like Me!

[amd1953]

You don't know me, and the chances are, you never will.   This is why I would like to introduce myself.   I'm a loser.   That's right, I can freely admit it.   Not just a loser but a big time loser.   At various stages of my life, I have lost everything I held close to my heart.   Employment opportunities, relationships and often my sanity.   Any dreams I might have had.   Any hopes and ambitions have disappeared in the proverbial puff of smoke.   I have endured the worst that another human being could do to me, but I have never sought retribution.   Anything that could have happened to me has happened and I have experienced the very deepest depths of despair and self-doubt.   There have been times when I didn't think I could sink any lower only to discover that the worst was yet to come.   But fast forward to the present day and I can look back on it all as a valuable lesson in human nature.   Now, I consider myself a winner because I have survived it all and the scars are fading.   The only thing that I can be sure of now is that I am no better or worse than any other man or woman who has ever drawn breath.

[Ggrand]

Dear amd1953,

As I was going through my abuse from the ones that should have been caring, kind and loving towards me…..and even a few years after, one of my abusers (my husband) passed away…I felt similar to what you’ve written down here….I was one huge broken human being…

Like you…and many others here, I am also a survivor…and have managed to get my life going into the right direction…it’s been hard work, but very much worth it…as the scars fade, we begin to live in the here and now…and start realising that we are worth a life of peace and happiness…

Thank you for a very inspirational post, and letting others here know, that as survivors we are also winners….you are one amazing person…who hasn’t let their past define the beautiful person you are…

Thinking of you with kindness and care..

Grandy..

[geoff]

Hello amd1953, can I thank Grandy for replying.

Sometimes we aren't able to 'sought retribution', simply because of how we are feeling and that's not bad at all, because the situation could become worse.

If you now find yourself a winner, then other people's circumstances may be different, but need to realise that in some aspects you have proven yourself better than another person, but as soon as you compare then a feeling of remorse or satisfaction may begin, instead, keep looking after yourself.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[chaya22]

Hello  amd1953,

Like how the other two have said thank you for the inspirational words. Glad you got to be the winner you are now but how did you get through these stages (if it's alright with you to share)? How do you grow up to accept yourself because I still can't? I am an introvert and I constantly think that I don't deserve anything and I get so insecure about it. 

[amd1953]

Hello Chaya22, Thank you for your reply to my recent post.   Life is full of positive and negative experiences and how we handle them is reflected in the kind of person we think we are.   Some people shrug it all off and move on while others tend to dwell and internalise.   I also regard myself as an introvert but it is nothing to be ashamed of.   We are perhaps just more sensitive and emotional and that is why we feel the woes of the world so acutely.   But it is in our best interest to stay strong and as healthy as possible.   How we think determines how we react to people and events around us.   We have as much right to be here as the next person no matter what other people might say or think.   You deserve everything that is good and positive in your life but it doesn't always work out that way.   Life has a habit of dealing us a bad hand from time to time but it is our reaction that allows us to move forward and be happy without feeling guilty.   I have to confess that in the past I allowed everything to get the better of me and I just felt sorry for myself.   Getting back on the bike after we fall off is the best advice.   Life is what it is and if we accept that fact, we can be whatever we want to be whether other people approve or not.   Of course, this is only my opinion and there are more qualified people out there who can offer help and advice if you need it.   Not everyone in the world has our best interests at heart and it is good to remember that.   It might sound a bit corny, but we do have the power to change our lives for the better.   I had to wait until I was in my sixties before I could find my own peace of mind.   Everything before that time was part of growing up.   That was the part I had the most trouble with.   Be a winner! 🙂

[Luci_Lu]

Wow, what a comparison to how you started and ended this post! So honest and brave. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us so far. It is reassuring to hear when a negative journey is turned around by sheer strength and determination to change to view on the past trauma. I 100% agree with your comment of being no better or worse than any other human who has drawn a breath. We all have our stories and what image we portray to the outside world is rarely a true reflection of our reality. We do learn so much from our hardest challenges and when we see ourselves making steps through them it is good to remind ourselves of how far we have come (even the smallest of steps) and how strong we are. The scars may never heal but they can be scars you can be proud of as they have shaped who you are and how you determine your own journey. Thank you for the share.