Seeking Advice re my Niece

Hankster1 · ‎05-11-2018

My Niece is suffering from undiagnosed chronic pain and has not been to school for over two years. She has been in and out of hospital for years and has a mistrust of all medical practitioners. In her words "because they can't find out what is wrong with me they think I am crazy". This has resulted in her now suffering extreme anxiety and depression. After her most recent hospitalisation she has deteriorated to such a point that she does not leave her room. My sister finally got her engaged in some psychiatric care but in short they "blew her world up then deserted her". I know that sounds dramatic but she opened herself up and so did my sister, some stuff came out which they made my sister address, then within weeks the support stopped, my niece felt abandoned and my sister has been left with a broken family and a child that has totally shut down. My sister has found a neurologist that is dedicated to finding the source of my nieces pain, This issue now is my niece refuses to engage, she simply won't go to hospital. I am really worried as my niece is getting more depressed and withdrawn, she is pale and has lost heaps of weight. I am seeking advice on any tactics to help get her willingly to hospital.

ANY advice is appreciated

Summer Rose · ‎05-11-2018

Hi Hankster1

Welcome to beyondblue and thank you for sharing your story. I am so very sorry that your neice is unwell and that she has been so badly let down by her mental health practitioners and the health system. I can understand why you are so concerned.

When my daughter was 13 years old we were in a very similar situation. My daughter desperately needed psychiatric in-patient care but was scared and had been really let down by her psychiatrist. She didn't want to go to hospital. She didn't want treatment. She didn't want to live.

We brainstormed possible alternatives. There were none and life as she was existing was unsustainable. If your neice won't go to hospital ask her, What's the alternative?

I explained to my daughter that she was at the bottom of a deep, dark well and that I would throw her every rope I could but that she would have to eventually pull herself up. I begged her to try. I promised never to leave her.

I made her a book, called The Real Sarah. I filled it with stories and pictures of her to remind her who she really was. The Real Sarah is ... funny ... a good friend ... smart ... a loving daughter and sister etc. I told her she had to fight to get her life back. She packed that book and kept it on the nightstand in hospital. I cried.

I loved her with all my heart and then some.

My daughter recovered. She now tells me that I saved her life.

I don't know if, or how, this story helps you. Every family is different. Every child is different. But you just keep talking to your neice and trying until something clicks.

I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers

Hankster1 · ‎06-11-2018

Thankyou so much for sharing your story. I am so glad to hear your daughter is now doing well. I showed my sister and she was very moved and relieved to hear that there are others out there like her and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Xx

Summer Rose · ‎07-11-2018

Hi Hankster1

Thank you for your kind words. It means a lot to me to know that I could provide your sister with some relief.

You are new to the forum, so I just also wanted to let you know that you can post anytime as your family works with your niece to help her heal. There is no pressure but I and many others on the forum will be here if you want to let us know how you are getting on.

Kind thoughts to you, your sister and your neice