Sad mum who’s son is on charges

[Sadmum71]

Hi everyone I’m a mum of two kids one 18 (son) and one 16 (daughter). They are polar opposites. My son was caught up in a fight with a 15 year old and has now been charged with a serious assault charge. I’m beyond devastated and I’m not coping at all. He is remorseful but needs help for his anxiety and depression but won’t seek help. I just don’t know how to cope. We live in a small town and I’m so worried about what people think. There are days where I don’t want to be around. I’m so scared of him going to jail. I just can’t deal with anything at the moment. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Please help.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Sadmum71,
It sounds extremely stressful and overwhelming. I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. It is understandable that you are scared for him right now and concerned about his mental health. It would be so difficult knowing he is not seeking support for himself and is resistant to it. Sometimes some people need to be eased into seeking support, so it might be a good idea to suggest some telephone counselling for him either through our service or Mensline Australia who provide professional counselling for men.
We are here to support you and hope that you find the community supportive.
I want to highlight that we are also available via telephone if you wanted to talk to one of our counsellors.  We have also reached out to you via email.

Sophie

[Sadmum71]

Thank you for your support- I’m definitely overwhelmed and I’m trying to be strong especially for my daughter. It’s just mentally very hard.

[james1]

Hello Sadmum,

Welcome to the forums. I'm really sad to hear that your son's been struggling a lot and that you feel like you can't deal with it right now. That sounds like a really terrifying situation to be in, and even though I've not been in that position before, I just wanted to let you know I'm here to talk if you'd like.

As Sophie mentioned, telephone counselling could be a good way to ease your son into seeking help, especially if he's expressed remorse about what he's done. Otherwise, it's probably also good to just make sure you and your kids still have a routine as much as possible. In stressful times like this, I have personally found that routine can be comforting.

Let us know how you are going when you feel up to it. We'll be here.

James

[Isaac98]

Sorry to hear that, I hope your situation gets better but just curious.. You been able to find more out about his assault situation? If you don't know as much about it, offering him to voluntarily describe his fight could both help him be more open to getting mental support due to possibly feeling more listened to. I'm not implying that you haven't listened to your son, just that it could create more trust with the mental health idea.