Rock bottom?

[ESLR]

Hi,
I'm new to this online thing so here goes nothing. I've been on this forum for a while now just reading through trying to find it in me to post and feeling anxious about how much I should share, just needing to vent and get things off my chest. For the past few years i guess ive been floating through life with no purpose at all. I had a miscarriage a few months ago and haven't been able come back from it. It was a trigger and literally a massive wake up call on how I've wasted so many years not being productive at all. The last few weeks I've pushed away the ones closest to me and I've just isolated myself from everything. I'm about to loose my job, I've lost a few friends and have no one to talk to. My family have been supportive and patient with me but now I feel like I'm just a burden. I'm not one to open up so easily so I barely talk about what im going through, in some ways I feel guilty so I don't say much. The past few days I've been trying to go the GP and chat about this but I don't know how. I get nervous about opening up to a stranger but i know I need to. And the doctor I was seeing with my miscarriage was really cold towards that situation which makes it worst. I haven't slept for well for a while, my mind is in overdrive and constantly worried about everything. I feel guilty for feeling this way because the way I see it is I put myself in this situation, its my fault and now its just...I just don't know what to do.

[geoff]

Hello ESLR, and thanks for posting your comment and I'm terribly sorry for what has just happened and for the doctor who was handling this.

It's not easy to open up to a group of people you don't know and for a doctor's reaction, but you've come to a group of people who have been through their own type of depression and understand how you are feeling.

I always suggest to people that you write down how you are feeling on a piece of paper, and take your time, add to it as you want to, then you can hand this over to your GP

Can I send this off to you and continue later, I don't want my reply to be too long because I'd like you to know you have our attention.

Take care.

Geoff.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi ESLR,

Welcome to the forums and I'm really glad that you decided to post. I hope that if anything it did help to get it off your chest and talk about what's been happening and how you've been feeling.

I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage; it sounds like it's been really painful for you and so hard. I'm also sorry that your GP was cold; the one person you needed to be supportive and he couldn't be more the opposite! What a horrible experience.

You wrote that you put yourself in this situation and that it's your fault - can you explain that to me? Everything that I'm reading from your post shows me that none of this ever was your fault.

I wonder if maybe it's worth getting some professional support that's a bit more helpful then your last GP? Sands is an organisation that comes to mind - all of their volunteers have had their own miscarriages or stillbirths so I think you'll find them to be very supportive. Here's their website if you want to have a look, all their services are free: https://www.sands.org.au/

I hope that this is helpful

RT

[ESLR]

Hi Geoff,
Thank you for your reply. I have been writing things down but Im in such a negative mindset, I read through it and I feel even worse.
Sorry, I feel like thats a overshare. I appreciate that you took your time to reply.

[geoff]

Hello ESLR, I appreciate how you are feeling and would just like to say that I know what's it's like to read the thoughts you have made, which could make you feel worse, I totally understand this, and it's a very good point, but these are the thoughts that need the most attention.

We only too wish that they would go away by themselves, and they will only if you are able to completely forget about them so that they don't intrude on your life, but if they could reappearing then they need help with.

I thank you for your replies and do hope that you can continue on this site.

Best wishes. Geoff.