Pushing through the bad days

[Hazeleyes]

Hi!

Ive been struggling all year with depression, but since my boyfriend dumped me it’s gotten so much worse.

I find it hard to socialise with my friends because before depression I was a very happy, skilley positive person and it’s exhausting pretending I’m okay.

I am finding it so hard to pick myself up and having self esteem.

I want to know how to cope and also to feel like people understand what I’m going through

[geoff]

Hello Hazeleyes, thanks for posting your comment.

Breakups are not easy to cope with and depression can suddenly appear, especially when your social activities are affected but you don't have to do this by yourself, reach out to those who you know will be able to support you.

One thing you must do is avoid any negative people who may judge or criticise you because what this will do is worsen your depression and make it harder for you to heal after a breakup.

Pretending to be OK to those around you becomes exhausting, I've fallen into that trap myself, because what happens is you seem to be coping alright but deep down you are struggling, this will make your situation feel awful.

Your bubbly self is only hidden away temporarily because these thoughts you are having may not be the truth, it's just a thought

Your healing may vary from day to day but the best support is to start with your doctor and then being referred onto a psychologist, I say this because there will be so many secrets no one knows about, except for you and the psychologist.

Please ask your doctor about the 'mental health plan' this will entitle you to 10 free sessions.

Hope to hear back from you.

Geoff.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Hazeleyes,

This whole year sounds like it has been very rough. I feel depression can be debilitating enough as it is but the breakup must have made things many times worse...I feel for you as I’ve had my heart broken before too, and it can really, really hurt...

You sound so down, exhausted and your self esteem has clearly taken a few blows...the pain is in your words...

I agree with you that it can be so exhausting putting on a happy front when you feel everything but happy. So I can understand why socialising with friends is draining....

Personally, I’ve found coping with depression and heartbreak is really hard. My gentle suggestion, based on own personal experience, is it can really help to honour your pain.

What I mean by that is to give yourself permission to grieve the end of a relationship and let the tears flow, write sad journal entries if you’re into journaling, etc, etc. Just let it out rather than holding it in...I feel the pain is part of the healing process, albeit a very unpleasant aspect...

Also, I have personally found trying to maintain some semblance of a routine helpful (e.g. going outside everyday, getting exercise most days, etc) because it helps to give me a sense of daily purpose, even if it’s a very minor one, that can’t help pull me out of the rut of depression and heartache...even if only temp

I have found close friends and animals to be precious support so I’m wondering do you have family, pets or friends that you feel comfortable opening up to about what you’re going through? Sometimes talking or just knowing someone cares (or being comforted by a beloved family dog) can be immensely uplifting...

Most of all though, I just wanted to say that I’m hearing you and feeling for your pain. My suggestions may or may not suit you, and either way is okay of course as I understand we are all different...

I just hope that you don’t feel as though you have to go through this alone...you have us here. There’s no pressure or obligation but if you feel writing here helps, we would be happy to gently continue supporting you. You are valued...

Kindness and warmth,

Pepper