Personal love issues

[Ton]

G'day, I am just going to throw it out there

i have been married for 26 years and am only 46 years old and young at heart. I use to struggle to keep up with my wife sexually, but then she cheated on me then me on her some 7 years ago once only and both came true. However the last few years she shows little intimacy while I have tried ot persisted to get responses. The rejection has eventually started to ware me Down, I know treat her the same as she treats me. Due to the years of rejection etc I am struggling or even finding it impossible to re-ignite her interest in me. I am thinking this is not healthy, I have started drinking and smoking to much and I wonder if it is just better to end it? Really don't want to

[stormcloudz]

Hi Ton

That's difficult, and sometimes it is better to end something than struggle on feeling rejected, and watching yourself slip into drinking (that's not a good journey!). At 46, you would be able to build a new life.

However as it sounds like you really don't want to end things yet, have you considered either talking to her very frankly? (you may have tried that..). If it's difficult to approach the subject, you could get the help of a counsellor for couples, for example through Relationships Australia. At least that way things will be clear. It really sounds like this has been dragging on for some time and its starting to affect your self-esteem and health.

In the meantime, you may need a little extra support for yourself to slow down the drinking and get back to your old self. You need to be clear-headed, as painful as it is. Please feel free to post here or to give BeyondBlue a call on 1300 22 4636. I'm sure people on this forum can suggest other sources of support, let us know if you would like suggestions.

All the best Ton and look after yourself, I'll keep an eye on your thread.