Newbie and mostly confused....

[DotB418]

Hi all,

I'm the another new kid on the block (I seriously hope I've posted this in the right place - eep!), I've had depression, with a side of Anxiety and OCD thrown in for fun, for more years than I can remember now and up until a few weeks ago it was being successfully managed by medication and my psychologist.

I know when I was first diagnosed my mum and dad called BeyondBlue for help and I thought this time around I'd give it a shot. I'm not sure what else to add other than 'Hello'.

Cheers

D

[james1]

Hey D,

Super big welcome to you!

I've got...well, I don't even know what I've got anymore but I'll lump it all under mental health issues, haha.

You mentioned that it was being managed successfully up until a few weeks ago.

Has something happened recently that's caused you to want to come here to speak?

These forums are wonderful for finding like minded people who are also suffering from a variety of things. I'd highly recommend you have a read as well and contribute, if you feel comfortable, in the depression and anxiety boards. BB also has its helpline 1300 22 4636 if you're looking to speak to someone on the phone, as these forums are really just for peer support.

I hope you feel comfortable replying here, and it's wonderful to have you on the forums!

James

[DotB418]

Hi James,

Thanks for the welcome. I don't have a filter when it comes to my depression.

I just wanted to come to a place of 'like minded' people who understand the darkness. Were I could say what I felt and not be judged.

There are a few things that have triggered my relapse this time. I am stuck in a toxic work environment which I am trying to escape. My friends seem to have forgotten I exist, I've gone from being the one everyone turned too to the forgotten entity. The guy I was seeing has suddenly changed and has hardly spoken to me and all I want to know is why but he's playing hard to pin down... I'm an only child to parents that got them selves into some $$$ and I moved back home to support them now I'm finding it draining being trapped.

Right now I want to disappear with out a word to anyone and start fresh. I don't think too many people would really notice me missing.

Some of these things are trivial but I seem to be drowning in them.

So that's me.

Just having a struggle.

Cheers

D

[james1]

Hey D,

So sorry for the late reply!

Oh that seems like a lot of things just to all happen at the same time and it's no surprise that you're feeling trapped and drowning a bit.

It's always hard to know where to start when you get stuck with a lot of problems all at the same time. Have you got any upcoming appointments with any doctors, GP/Psych/Counsellor who you could speak to about all these? I wouldn't know where to start, but it sounds like reconnecting with some friends could go a long way.

Is it a matter of non response or are you also finding it hard to get the time now that you've had to move back in with the parents?

James

[DotB418]

No problem James. I appreciate the reply all the same.

I'm seeing my psychologist next week, he's a popular soul so I can't get in as often as I would like and my GP is away, I have an appointment to see her the week she gets back so we can change my meds over. I'm not looking forward to that process in the least!! I've only just started taking baby steps back into what one would call 'life' so I'll try getting to talk to people as my next step.

Both, I find the non response frustrating, and honestly a little rude. we always went to his place were there are no family so mine don't really impact that thankfully.

Cheers

D

[james1]

Hey D,

Talking to people is definitely a good first step. Just having contact with people, even strangers, can do so much for us and make us feel less alone in our struggle.

Ah yes, that can be very frustrating to put in all the effort on your part and have nothing reciprocated. With close friends, this is sometimes easily sorted by just understanding if they were busy at that point in time. I've found with my friends, some are a lot less reachable than others, but they still value our friendship just as much.

I'm glad you're seeing your psychologist next week. It'll probably be a good idea to make a short list of the things you want to cover so you don't leave feeling like you didn't get what you wanted!

James

[DotB418]

Hi James,

Apologies for the delay in responding. I had a less than impressive weekend finding out the person I had been involved with had updated his FB status to 'In a relationship with person x' and failed to tell me about it. I reached out to people (and to a lovely person at BB chat) and it helped but logically my brain still doesn't comprehend what it was that I did so wrong and what is so wrong with me that no one wants me. I know this is all my depression talking but its hard to see through the fog when its rolling in like it has.

I was hoping I'd have better news to share... on the up side I know I am so much better off with out this person as he's a total *insert choice words here* and I don't need that sort of person in my life.

Cheers

Dot

[C_L]

Hey Dot

Yes - I imagine that you are a lot better off without that type of person in your life!! With the benefit of hindsight you'll probably realise you made a lucky escape!! It sounds like you're making great progress by making contact with your GP and psychologist - here's hoping for a better weekend, week or even a just a better day!!

Take care of yourself

Cheers

Caroline