Am a Health Professional and a mother and have nothing left to give.

[LucyE]

Hi, am new to all of this.

I work in emergency and deal with life and death. I am sick of being abused by the public.

Trying to talk people out of suicide and then dealing with heart attacks or someone complaining about some fake disease just to score opiates.

Have been doing this for 30 years and am a single mother of a special needs child.

Work/management doesn't care that we are overloaded with patients. People just take and take and I go home mentally and physically drained.

I need to have something left for my son and my self. I put him first and then collapse.

With shift work the only thing I look forward to is my bed.

People have become so acopic with basic living skills and common sense that I feel like a second mother to the whole state I work for.

zzzzz

[blondguy]

Hi LucyE

Welcome to the forums and good on you for having the courage to post too

Your profession is not only a tough heavy duty one but also one that is sometimes taken for granted. Whether an entry level health professional or Div1 Grade4 (or a ED GP for that matter) your day would make many people's day pale into insignificance.

My friend used to be the head of a ED a few years ago and she really did it very hard with the range of patients being admitted. The worse were the people taking out their drug fueled aggression on her.

I am an ex corporate exec that has had acute anxiety for approx 13 years which then morphed into depression. (just so you know who you are talking to)

These forums are a judgemental free zone and rock solid secure for your privacy too:-) Can I ask if you have even a small support network that you can 'bounce' off. Having a special needs child as well as the grief & emotion you have day by day would be heart wrenching let alone exhausting.

You are not alone here Lucy, there are many people here that are in torment. When convenient, you are more than welcome to post back about anything you wish.....even just for a chat.

my kindest thoughts for you

Paulx

[Quiettall]

Hi Lucy

As Paul says, use this space to post and let go some of the feelings, get some support. You need time and space for yourself. Do you have leave you can take over the holidays to spend just with yourself and your son?

I sympathise when you give the impression that you are always in demand and have nothing left for yourself. I have been there and it is draining. I used to find the 1 hour drive to and from work was my time..I resented it when others wanted a lift, as they wanted to talk, and this ate into the time I needed to think, relax, listen to music, the radio or just chill out while driving.

Even though I am retired now and spend lots of time at home, as does my wife, I still seek a few hours a day away from her, the radio, TV and just do things for myself, including reading and responding to posts here - this often refreshes my thinking and reminds me how good I have it compared to many others.

Take care and hope you can find some space for yourself over the holiday season to refresh and rekindle your spirits

Peter

[Stranger42]

Hi, Lucy,

Thank you for writing here.

Well, people must be in a real bad place to attempt suicide on a first place. As for opiates, I can't relate to that, so it's probably very draining and disgusting at the same time to try to deal with it. As for heart attacks, unfortunately it happens. Sometimes we are not careful, sometimes we just have bad genetic in this area.

As for being a single mother, I was always afraid to be in this situation, so I have never allowed myself a risk to go for a child (and yes, males out there, I would say it is a risk). And it's kinda too late now. I don't know what to say 😞

It sounds illogical, but it's so great to have a second mother sometimes. Thank you for doing this 🙂

M.

[geoff]

dear Lucy, I'm pleased Paul and Peter have replied back to you because you have to work in a very tense and in a very critical occuption, that requires you to be full on, and of course this is going to wear you down and make it so difficult for you to be a mum for your child who needs special care.
To be able to talk someone out of suicide is a mammoth effort, but it's very exhausting and never sure that it won't happen again, but all you can do is cope with the current situation you're in, but this is not going to ease up on your life style, especially having to work shift work.
Is it possible to be able to change to day shifts so that some regularity can come back into your life, and be able to spend every night with your son, because by keep on changing to night work and then day work would be confusing for your son, and we know that night shifts would be worse time to work in emergency. Geoff. x

[Croix]

Dear LucyE
Thank you for posting, it’s a big step to take. There is empathy, suggestions and companionship here. For many what starts as a few quick posts can become a long-term deal, it does so because for them it really helps. It’s a giving/taking friendly understanding environment with no fixed hours

I'm assuming you are a nurse though in any case I can relate to an awful lot of what you say. 30 years of this means you’ve probably got maybe 15 years before retirement if you are permanent. It also means your reservoir of personal mental and physical resources has been taxed to the max. You’re right about the government & health authorities cynically overtaxing DEMs, the endless quick fixes, the failures, the toxic nature of some of the public, the stressed fellow workers and high staff turnover

Maybe you feel you are trapped by needing the shift-based wages you currently get, maybe you continue there for other reasons.

I could go in endlessly but I just wanted you to know I understand. My late wife was a casualty sister (in fact that’s where I met her) and another person close to me works in DEM. As an ex-cop I’ve done shiftwork, quick shifts, double shifts, a few 24’s etc

Here are some thoughts, please be generous if they are unrealistic

Can you consider a change – not out of nursing but to a less taxing job – even if only for a while? Geoff quite rightly suggests the benefits of day shift, is it an option? Alternatively can you do a day less per cycle or do all nights - and of course live with the reduced income?

The person close to me I mentioned started to seriously consider agency nursing but before being completely burnt out wangled a part time teaching job in a Uni School of Nursing where practical skills were valued to water down the totally academic environment

He stayed in DEM on reduced hours and benefits from the arrangement greatly – with an actual increase in income and doing part of the new job (marking etc) at home

In any case my best wishes to you and your son

Croix

[LucyE]

Hi Croix,

thanks so much for understanding.

Unfortunately I cannot transfer just now due to my position and lack of staff. However it is not entirely not something I should disregard for the future.

I think the silly season is getting to me.

I really do appreciate your empathy.

cheers

JesseE

[LucyE]

Hi Paul,

4 hours sleep and heading back into battle (work). Not due to insomnia. My crazy hours. Will write more when I have some spare time.

thanks

J 🙂

[blondguy]

Hey J

No worries at all.

Hope you are going reasonably okay and thanks for responding too 😉

Paul