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[Rainforest]

Hello I am new & don’t really know where to start. I am not used to talking about myself. I am mature aged person & have depression that has gone undiagnosed for most of my life. I just thought it was normal ‘that’s life’, now I look back there wasn’t anything normal. I handled situations ok, but now I am not. I feel like I’m in a bucket of oil I can’t get out of. I feel useless, helpless and frustrated to say the least. I don’t want to be a burden to anyone by talking about my feelings as I know there’s people worse off than me. It’s just getting harder to cope. Thankyou for listening .

[Rainforest]

Well it’s 4 am and once again I wake up in despair & tears. I feel such a loser for feeling sorry for myself. I should be stronger. I hate this.

[Ggrand]

Hello Rainforest,

Your not a looser at all, I live on my own and where I am is pretty much isolated. I used to wake up after only a few hours sleep in tears and anxious..

I now have my radio on all night and even though I don't watch tv sometimes I'll leave that on. When I wake there is noise around me for some reason I don't feel so alone or anxious.. then if I can't get back to sleep I'll read some here on the forums..

There are a few good threads to read here that might help you to manage your depression and anxiety until you can get an appointment with your gp...There's a thread on grounding that helps with managing your anxiety by making a little grounding box that will help ease your depression and anxiety by grounding you..lThere another thread that has a lot of coping strategies to help with depression and anxiety...thread titles..."grounding,what is it and how do we do it"..also. "Coping Strategies"..also another good thread is.."Understanding depression to beat it".

Maybe these thread might be able to help you, we also have a Sleep thread which gives tips on getting to sleep and staying asleep.

You are a strong Rainforest, you just don't know it yet. It takes strength to write in these forums and reach out..

I hope you ended up going back to sleep for a little while this morning, and I hope today will be better then yesterday..

Kind thoughts and warm hugs, 🤗,

Grandy..xx

[quirkywords]

Rainforest,

I am sorry you woke in the early hours in tears and despair, I know that feeling too. I often wake and can't get back to sleep as I start overthinking about mistakes I have made.

I try to concentrate on counting and breathing and sometimes that is enough to stop the negative thoughts. Some people find mediatation tapes elf them as well, and noise like the radio.

Grandy has written a very helpful reply that may help.

I am glad you could post and explain how you felt because there would be others reading feeling the same as you. You are not alone.

I hope you managed some sleep and are feeling better today.

Keep posting and reading if you want to.

Quirky

[Rainforest]

Thankyou so much Grandy you are a gem.

Somehow the feeling passed once I had written it. I did feel really strange writing it on here though, and it took some effort.

I will look at those threads you mentioned, thankyou for the information.

I sincerely hope you are going ok.

xx

[Ggrand]

Rainforest, , thank you very much for letting me know you are feeling better..🌹..I have found the same, once I write it out I feel better, I think it's like kind of like throwing them away for a while...

I hope your day is good,

Grandy..

[Rainforest]

Thankyou Quirky I really am glad I’m not alone. I am reading some of Grandy suggestions now. All this information is so good.

Unfortunately I don’t manage to go back to sleep after 4, it seems to be a bit of a pattern for the last few weeks which I don’t understand. I go to sleep now ok with CALM sleep stories, but wake up too early. The sleep stories don’t put me back to sleep, yet feel too tired to do anything. The despair is exhausting. However I will continue to try to find a solution. Have to don’t we?

Thanks for the replies they mean a lot

💞

[Rainforest]

Finally got to see GP she put me on Melatonin to help get slap patterns back on track, so hoping this works. Has anyone tried it?

She has also given me a new psychologist. She said that it’s not uncommon to not click with someone so it’s best to try someone else rather than keep going to someone you’re not comfortable with.

Pleased with even this small progression, & just focussing on that right now.

[Scout28]

Rainforest said:

Finally got to see GP she put me on Melatonin to help get slap patterns back on track, so hoping this works. Has anyone tried it?

She has also given me a new psychologist. She said that it’s not uncommon to not click with someone so it’s best to try someone else rather than keep going to someone you’re not comfortable with.

Pleased with even this small progression, & just focussing on that right now.

Hi there Rainforest

Just wanted to say that you are absolutely not alone. I too wake in the middle of the night and have to really force myself to sleep again or just be contented with lying there. Like Quirky I concentrate on breathing and counting as well, it helps keeps the spiralling negative thoughts at bay. I hadn't heard of the CALM app so I will be looking into that too thanks for mentioning it.

I am also about to start with a new counsellor. I moved interstate 5 years ago and have not found anyone I am really comfortable with here. I am feeling hopeful about this new counsellor and I wish you all the best with yours. Next time you wake up in the middle of the night, remind yourself there are many of us out there doing our best right alongside you.

Good luck and be kind to yourself.

Scout28

[Rainforest]

Hi Scout28

Thankyou for your reply. I am sorry that you too have this fractured sleep pattern as well. It is horrible & the tiredness makes our thoughts go crazy. I also moved towns a few months ago which is always difficult so I know how you feel. It’s easy to feel alone in a new place. Thank goodness for this site, as I am seeing that there are many people out there that struggle yet are so willing to be helpful. It’s so good to be able to write without judgement or feeling like a burden. It’s very honest.

I hope you have a happy weekend.

I really like Calm so I hope it helps you as well.

[Doolhof]

Hi Rainforest, Scout28 and Everyone,

This forum is a special place isn't it! A place where we can expr4ess how we are feeling without the fear of judgement or criticism and like mentioned, a place where people want to help and care for each other.

Regarding sleep, I have been told by a psychologist, that when you can't sleep it is best to get up and do something else like read a book, some kind of craft, do a puzzle then return to bed, try some deep breathing and hopefully you will fall back to sleep.

Sometimes this works for me, other times I am still wide awake when the sun comes up.

I told the psychologist I thought it was best to just lie in bed, that way your body was at least resting, but he didn't agree. So I am not really sure what the answer is.

Hopefully the new counsellor goes well too. We all relate differently to certain people. I also find reading self help books can be beneficial and trying to do some CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) work at home helps.

If you have issues going around in your mind when you are trying to sleep, it may be beneficial to get up, write down everything that is buzzing around, then return to bed maybe counting in 3s back from 100 to give your mind something else to think about.

Wishing you all a better night's sleep.

Cheers from Dools