New to the website Forum

[Shanegi]

Hi Peeps,

I Placed my hand up today and admitted defeat. OMG it was the worst feeling ever, I am meant to be the core strength.. and here I haven't been for months.

over the past couple of months its been climbing the stairs in the back of my mind, Like I didn't notice it. I kept pushing that old feeling off to the side especially when you hear Just get over it! Why do you worry about shit like that! Until you start getting on edge you snap you get angry and upset every time they talk. you hide away from everyone. You cry yourself to sleep. and get up in the morning to do it all again.

well not this person as a famous Quote: Not Today!

I was driving home Today, I had to pull over I was a blubbering Mess, everything I had been pushing aside had finally caught me. but this time its time to take action no more pushing aside. so I called my Doctor straight away. and registered for this forum to have someone to talk too as we go along our Journey together.

[Aaronsis]

Welcome Shanegi

Firstly how brave and how strong you are and so very courageous to say..not today! and make your appointment with the doctor, that is so very brave and you have done it. You said "OMG it was the worst feeling ever"..can I ask if it actually was in fact the best feeling ever, that you have taken control today and you have made the very first step in healing and putting yourself first?

We most certainly will go on this journey with you Shanegi and give you support and chat and listen, welcome to a beautiful supportive community of people with all sorts of struggles coming together at each other's time of need.

Looking forward to chatting some more and hearing about you and your story, we are here for you.

You're so very strong.

AS

[Shanegi]

Thank you for your word of encouragement it truly means a lot, I am generally the strongest one in the family working, cleaning, getting the kids to pull there finger out and get ready for school, pick them up in the afternoon etc.

have talk to the kids about what I am dealing with and they said they are right behind me, on the other hand my core strength isn't taking it to well as in not talking to me normally. I did have a comment thrown my direction that Im still trying to get me head around.

but yes even though its only been a day I am starting to exhale and breath that I am heading in the right direction and I have to do this for myself to be my self again.

[Aaronsis]

Hi Shanegi

I am so pleased to be chatting to you again and that you have spoken to your kids and that they are going to chip in and help, that is good on so many levels. Helps you and teaches them that they too have a role in the house and that it is everyone's job to make the house "work".

You are so very strong and are doing all the right things to start your journey to wellness and we are right here with you. If you want to share the comment that you are still getting your head around, we can talk about that if you want, if not that is fine too.

Great to chat to you again and I hope today brings a smile.

AS

[Shanegi]

the comment

starting taking to Mr and I apologised for my short fuse lately and whenever I drink Mr seen to be a Target for me to ramble different conversations in one sentence. instead of sitting down face to face and talking to Mr about what has been bothering me. whether it would be with work , home, relationship but it seems that when ever I say anything seems to be placed back in my arms and I just have to deal with it! harden up!.

any how the comment... was after I had told Mr that I was going to get help for I knew I couldn't keep doing this some thing is wrong. response Wait for it.. don't you think I am hurting too! when I have tried to communicate further about the reason why he was hurting the Mr clam shut back up again and silence continues.

Im working nightshift this week. this could be interesting.

Thank goodness peeps to talk to now that I don't feel like I am a hinderance well got to get ready for work.

[Aaronsis]

Hi Shanegi

I am so sorry that when you tried to make peace and apologize for your actions, words and how you are feeling that is was thrown back at you. That is really hurtful and it must have taken alot for you to try to get the courage to have that conversation to have it put back on you. Can I perhaps suggest tho that this is Mr's way of reaching out for help too and by him saying "I am hurting too" that he perhaps he too would like to get some help but feels he can't. That maybe he feels less of a man if he does? How would you feel about saying to him "I have made an appointment at the doctor and am going to get some help, you seem to get upset when I say this, is this because you don't understand or is this perhaps something you would like to do too?

I hope that your week at work goes well, night shift must be alot to juggle when you are trying to mend things with your husband.

Thinking of you Shanegi and yes, we are here for you and here to chat anytime you need us.

Hugs to you

AS