New to so many things

[Lotsofchanges]

Hi there
This is my first time here. I kept hearing and reading the beyond blue ads on anxiety and thought "thats me" 😢. Im new to cairns..left my relationship a few months ago and my adult son..my friends.. and everything ive known. Iv always suffered anxiety but noticed if i kept everything the same..my routine etc i was fine n could manage..a down day here and there was ok. Unfortunately now with so many changes im not coping well at all.

I exercise religiously and this has usually relieved my anxiety however now i come back from exercising to an empty house (i even had to leave the cats 🐈) n i feel so anxious and incredibly lonely. Iv tried exercise groups..meet up..its all lovely whilst its going but nothing proceeds from there even when i try to instigate it. Then of course anxiety hits n i think "they all hate me ..that I'm worthless". I even say good morning to people on my morning run n people literally ignore me..n i feel so wounded which i know is silly and that (the reason they dont say good morning) is they were probably busy..not morning people..an introvert etc... For someone who tries to see the positive in everything..this has been soo hard.

My adult son is visiting and iv missed him so much but he goes home tomorrow and already i feel soo sad but dont want to ruin his last day either. Work (why i moved) is good but the team is small n no one extends friendliness beyond a good morning and how was your weekend. Whereas work was one place i always felt at home...liked..appreciated.

Im not sure where to from here. Right now im going to finish this post n go for a cycle to see i i can settle the anxiety n lift my sadness before my son wakes up.

Lonely n blue 😢

[Doolhof]

Hi Lotsofchanges,

Hope you mange to enjoy the last day your son is with you. Hope you have thought to take photos as reminders of your time together.

Welcome to the community here as well. There are many different sections to this forum, in time you might like to have a look around and join in on other thread. The Beyond Blue website also has a lot of information you may find helpful.

It does sound like you are trying hard to make the most of the changes that have happened. At work, can you find common ground with someone? You mentioned cats, maybe one of your fellow workers has cats and you can share stories.

I say hello to people sometimes and smile at them as well, some people respond, others don't. Hope you can keep telling yourself it is not you, the other people may have issues of their own.

When you return home to an empty house, can you put on some uplifting music, do something that you used to enjoy, start up a new hobby you can do from home, find ways to make the home seem less lonely.

Add some bright colours to your living areas, maybe a colourful print, add some cheer if there is none.

It can take time to feel comfortable in a new place and to meet new people. We moved to a small country town, I joined a couple of groups to meet new people.

Please know you are more than welcome here. Hope you find ways to feel more at ease and at home in Cairns.

Cheers for now from Dools

[Lotsofchanges]

Thank you so much dools. Its just nice to know im not alone. I think part of my issue is that iv moved into a community where i honestly feel (stunning tho it is) that i dont fit. Iv left a small country community n i think where i am is not good for the soul. Even my son said to me today that it doesnt suit me -luckily im renting so am thinking of moving into a smaller town (which i lived at many years ago n have some friends there) ..its still driving distance to work but would mean i could get a cat n maybe a dog (which ive always had) n have people close by who care about me.So many changes has made things really hard..thank you again for responding..it means a lot ☺️

[Doolhof]

Hi Lotsofcahnges,

Hopefully you will be able to return tot he town where you once lived and you will be able to pick up old relationships and foster new ones.

If that doesn't happen straight away, then hopefully you will feel more at ease where you are and will feel comfortable just being YOU right where you are at present.

It can be hard to feel comfortable in a different environment. I found when we moved here, for quite a while I did things by myself and tried to enjoyed the new surroundings.

For a while I wanted to return to the city! I had more friends there, lovely groups I was involved in and wonderful neighbours. Here in the country our neighbours keep to themselves and one light are down right nasty.

Now I am trying to see this as home. I have made some acquaintances, not really friends, but people I chat with when I see them.

I also hope you can make the most of where you are living. Go our exploring when you have time off. Do different things. It helped me to do the same sort of thing here.

Cheers to you from Dools