New to BB

[Kiki85]

Hi,

I’m pretty new to this whole thing.. not with my anxiety and depression that I have been battling with for the last 10 years, but the whole reaching out to complete strangers who sadly are suffering as I am.

i can’t talk to my family and friends anymore as I feel ashamed and judged!

i feel completely and utterly alone! I put on a brave face for everyone around me, but when I’m alone I cry especially at night when my husband and children have gone to sleep. I can’t cope with the constant worry. I feel like I have knots in my stomach and my heart is in my throat everyday of every minute! I just want it to stop!

I just want to be happy, I deserve it!my kids deserve to have a happy and healthy mother and my husband works so hard for our little family I want to be the best wife I can be to him!

[jess334]

Hi Kiki,

First, I'd like to welcome you to the Beyond Blue forums. It's a great place to reach out to people who understand what you are going through.

Can I ask why you feel ashamed and judged when you talk to your family and friends? Have you always felt this way or do you feel like the way they respond to you has changed lately?

Do you see a psychologist or GP about your depression and anxiety? Maybe it is time to review any therapy techniques or medications as it doesn't seem like they are working to keep your depression under control.

I'm a mum too and I understand wanting to be perfect for your kids. I really struggle to let my child see me suffering from anxiety, but my psychologist pointed out that if I hide it then it might seem to him like I am ashamed of how I feel. This could backfire when he gets older if he also suffers from mental health issues. Obviously this doesn't mean that I need to breakdown in front of him, but it is OK if he sees me stressed or sad.

Please keep posting if you need to and are able.

kind thoughts, Jess