Anxious about every thing and just need a moment

[jessrobb]

Hi, so this is my first time ever writing here and I'm really nervous. I have really never thought of writing on here mainly because I was anxious about doing this and find it hard to talk about the struggles going on in my life.

So I need a bit of advice,
So my best friend recently turned 22 at the start of Jan this year and had planned to go away for her birthday, it was going to be a couple of days away to the beach with me and about 12 other people, which I was already worried about in the first place, it was also the same week the rest of my family was going away as well.

The week leading up to us all going away I started having one of thous moments with my anxiety where my head was just spinning with all the words and comments people had been saying to me and I just could not get them out of my head, they would not stop. Along with that, I don't have a job so asking my mum to help pay for a lot of the weekend away made me even more anxious to the point I was too scared to ask her. So the day before we had to leave I lied to my best friend and told her I got sick so that I could get out of going.

At first, I felt like the worst person in the world and I still do but now I kind of feel happy that I get a couple of days to my self, a couple of days where I can kind of shut down and not deal with anything.

Does that make me the worst friend and human being in the world?
Is it bad that I want time to be along or that I need time to be along?

Thank you

[jess334]

Hi Jessrobb,

Welcome to the forums. Congrats on taking that step and posting. It can be really difficult to start with, but everyone here is supportive. Lots of us also have a lot of experience with anxiety.

You are NOT a bad person for putting your mental health first. I have cancelled on tons of things in the past because I knew it would put strain on my anxiety.

When its an important event - like a wedding- I usually push myself to go. But I can also tell myself its only a few hours. I would really really struggle to spend a whole week away with friends.

I also need time to myself a lot. Mostly to decompress and breath and just not be surrounded by people. In fact one of the reasons I took so long to move in with my partner (3 years) is because I was terrified I wouldn't get any alone time. Luckily my partner is great and gives me space whenever I need it.

Have you spoken to your GP or health professional about your anxiety? Seeing a psychologist can be really helpful.

Kind thoughts, Jess

[Croix]

Dear Jessrobb~

I'd like to join Jess in welcoming you here and basically have to agree. You are not a bad person for putting your mental health first. Going a way for a birthday is fine when you are well and can enjoy it, when stressed and anxious it simply is pointless. Your friend has other people with her, so you are not letting her down, leaving her on her own.

Telling her you were ill actually was the truth, even if you may have implied it was some sort of physical illness.

I think it is quite significant what away from the pressures of other people for a while things started to look up. Most of us need our own space, and if being with others triggers more anxiety again it is only sensible to take what you need.

I'd also like to join Jess in asking if you have been to your doctor abut how you feel? If you have an anxiety condition or similar then professional help is the way to go, at least I found it so. It was the start of my improvement.

Please feel you can talk here as much as you would like, you are not alone

Croix

[blondguy]

Hello Jessrobb

Jess334 and Croix are very helpful above with their kind and noteworthy support

I wanted to say that you are an amazing individual to take 'a moment' with us. You are very strong!

You made the right decision jessrob....your health is paramount

Thank-you for being a part of the forum family too!...As Croix mentioned above you are very welcome to ask or talk about whatever is on you mind 🙂

my kind thoughts

Paul