New on it

[Alexqua]

Hi everyone ... I’m new in this forum .. I’m 31years old girl from Italy .. arrived here 5 years ago .. permanent home new home owner ... nothing to worry about (everyone think)

here my story.

I live with my partner we supposed to get married the 4th of January... but things went wrong ... let me explain better ... move in in to the new house .. our car decided to leave us .. I lost my job and struggle to find something else ... things with my partner are not the great one in this moment he blame me for everything it’s my fault if the car get broke it’s my fault for the job ... and he yell at me most of the time .. it’s been a year Since our last intimate relationship... I feel like I’m not enough I’m not good enough for everything.. I can’t sleep eat I’m loosing weight and I can’t stop cry ... I lost interest in everything..: I just want to cry .. I don’t know if I’m in a depression mood I don’t have a lot of friends and most of the time I feel lonely, my partner it’s not helpful and my parent are overseas and I don’t want worried then ; (they already have they’re own problems) I can write a poem a book about all my life ... but I don’t know what should I do

ty for your time

[Larlar]

Hello alexqua . I have read your post and can feel your sadness.Your partner should not be yelling at you or blaming you for unavoidable things. Relationship s should be respectful and he isn't showing much care or respect from what I can tell from your story . Try to focus on you . Make some more friends ( either at work or a social group ) so you have a better support network

Take care.

[Soberlicious96]

Dear Alexqua,

I am sorry to hear of your struggles that you are going though right now. Things sound like they have been quite tough.

Have you thought about maybe getting some professional help, like maybe seeing a counselor or your doctor, and talk to them about your depression and about how often you are crying? Maybe you could also suggest to your partner that you both attend some couples counseling together, yeah?

Most importantly, I would like to suggest that you stop blaming yourself for things outside of your control, and start instead doing some things that will help to turn it all around. Such as continuing to look for other work, and maybe even engaging in a hobby or join some sort of club where you can meet others with a common interest. Who knows what it will lead to?!

In the meantime, take care and know that BB is 'open' 24/7, so you can come here to vent and share as much as you like.

Take care. I'll be thinking of you. xo

[Alexqua]

I’ll try but with this mood I feel like just cry

[smallwolf]

Hi Alexqua,

welcome to beyond blue. If I had one suggestion for you, it would be to have a look at the K10 test on the beyond blue web site - a small test that will give you a recommendation. The words you write in your post indicate a person in a lot of emotional pain and my own experience is that trying to hold it all in is no good. And if it was depression you have with your husband shouting at you most of the time will make it worse when what you are looking for is support in this time.

Being able to talk to someone about how you are feeling, what you are thinking and then finding some ways to find some positive can be helpful. I know you said you don't have a lot of friends, but all (?) it takes is one friend who can listen to you - who may be able to give you the support you seem to be missing at home. Of course you have posted here which is a good start and I hope you will stick around. The people here are supportive and non-judgemental.

Peace and comforting thoughts to you,

Tim

[Hanna3]

Hi Alexqua, Are you sure you can't phone your parents and talk to them about things? What about going to a GP as many have a social worker available you can make an appointment to see and have a talk about things. It's rotten being this unhappy and especially with your partner yelling at you. It sounds like too much has gone wrong at once and you're feeling overwhelmed. We're all here to support each other so you're welcome to keep coming onto Beyond Blue and chatting to people online here. Hang in there and remember there are people here who are happy to try and give you some support.