Dear Jemima
Hello and welcome to the forum. This is a good place to get support and talk about your various emotions. There are many who can relate to you and hopefully will be along soon to chat.
It sounds like you are trying to cope with a number of different situations which is always a struggle. Can you tell your husband about these feelings of loneliness? How do you think he would react? It's usually hard for someone to understand depression or anxiety if they have never experienced it. Can you browse the beyondblue information and perhaps download and/or print some of the information sheets. You can find these under The Facts at the top of the page.
This pandemic is causing a great deal of uncertainty for so many people with regard to their jobs. Not having a reliable income will cause lots of anxiety and unfortunately finding a new job is difficult under the circumstances.Has your boss applied for the job keeper funding? If so it may make your job feel a little more secure. Perhaps a good idea to check this out.
As you have been dealing with anxiety and depression for many years does this mean you have been working with a mental health professional at any time? It may be a good idea to return to some form of therapy or perhaps start if you have not been involved in this in the past.
How does your husband feel about a possible separation? Does he know you are considering this? And of course if you are out of a job it makes the decision more complicated. May I suggest you see your GP and have a good chat. Talk about what is bothering you. It may be your GP can refer you to someone who can help. If you want to deal with your marriage issues please contact Relationships Australia in your state. Would your husband go with you to counselling?
Please continue to post in here.
Mary
