New member - hello

[Growing_Violet]

Good morning
I have read posts on this forum over the years but I never signed up. Today, I decided to sign up so I could start posting. 
I suffer with depression and anxiety relating to trauma. I still struggle. I have been engaged in psychotherapy for several years.
I, and my psychologist, believe that most of my problems stem from childhood abuse in addition to the early parental loss. Also, life challenges such as career setbacks have made my illness more difficult to manage at times. 
I wanted to start posting as I think connection may be helpful for myself and others.

[Isabella_]

Good morning 🙂

Welcome to the forums! I'm glad that you've made the step to sign up.

You've mentioned that you've been engaged in long-term psychotherapy with your psychologist. I'm glad to hear that you're receiving care for the grief and abuse that you've experienced. It sounds like you have a really impactful story to share here about recovery and your mental health struggles.

Please always know that the forums are a safe, judgement free space for you to share. We're all here to listen to you and make sure you feel heard, understood and validated for whatever it is you want to let off your chest.

I'm looking forward to seeing you around on here. I hope you're taking care of yourself. ❤️

[Miz]

Hello ero-thanatos,

Welcome to the forums! We are so happy to have you here and you are always welcome to talk.

It seems that you have taken big steps in your mental health journey and I just want to say a big congratulations for making it so far! The fact that you are still here and talking about it is a big success! Remember that it is not important to base our self-wroth on our career achievements but rather our actions and treatment of other people. You sound like a lovely person and by everything you have said I would say you are a successful person, despite your mental health problems.

Keep fighting the fight! Here to talk whenever you need 🙂

[Mark Z.]

Hi Eros-thanatos,

So glad that you've signed up.

While you and your psychologist keep putting a lost of efforts to improve your long-term mental health, are you also taking care yourself physically? Cause these two aspects are connected and mutually impacted. Including, eating health food, spending time in nature, ensuring enough sleep, seeing your GP if you're physically unwell, etc.

Also, persist in aerobic exercise will play a good chemical reaction, running, cycling, swimming, etc.

Mark

[smallwolf]

Hello and welcome to the beyond blue forums. It might have taken the you a while to post but you now have which takes courage! And the responses have been supportive. It is sad to read what you went through in your childhood years. Can I ask how you have been going with your psychologist?

The one thing that struck out at me was the knock-on effect re Uni studies. I won't tell my story except that in one session I had with own psychologist was that I found positives in my own journey and other qualities. I know when I feel low finding positives is hard. I even wrote a letter to my younger self.

I hope you will come back and chat some more. Curious to find out more about you.

[geoff]

Hello Eros_thanatos, I always like to start by welcoming new members to the forums because it must take time to decide whether or not a comment made by themselves should be posted as it does take much pondering.

You have struggled through a lot to be here with us and we feel so sorry that all of this has happened and hope by talking with us will provide some strength to come back to us.

Geoff.

[jaz28]

Hi there,

Welcome to the forums, glad to have you with us! 🙂

I hope you find this to be a safe place, we are all here to support and help you.

I am sorry you have experienced trauma and loss in your life. But here you are not alone.

Jaz.

[Growing_Violet]

Hi Everyone

Thank you for your letters. I hope to reply to them individually.
To avoid confusion, I have changed my Avatar to Growing Violet . It's the same me 😊. I just felt the new name was a bit more inspiring 🌷

Also, to avoid confusion – my introductory post has been slightly edited. My post was initially a draft where I included a lot more detail. I only realised I actually clicked post when I checked the Beyond Blue feed yesterday 😶🙃.

Then the shame/anxiety/quasi denial kicked in. I reached out to the moderator to omit some of the details which I didn't feel comfortable disclosing. They kindly allowed some minor editing of the deets.

Unbelievable. After years of hard therapeutic work - I still get shocked at the details of my own story. I also experience this when I access my medical records. For example, when I read a copy of my Doctor's referral.
That's part of my story ? I went through that? I have to remind myself often – I, too, am an early survivor of sexual assault. I also have to remind myself that my symptoms make complete sense in that context and the cause-effect relationship of those experiences. But I don't really want to have to. I think, like some survivors, I don't want these to be my experiences so I swing between attempting to forget - moving on - to being confronted again.

Just thought I'd share my initial reluctance in posting and my feelings around reading part of my story.

[geoff]

Hello Growing Violet, if you want to forget these previous experiences then you'll need help on how you can stop them from annoying you.

You will also have to know what trigger points can begin these awful thoughts, so write them down so your doctor/therapist can discuss ways you can avoid them from happening.

Geoff.

[smallwolf]

welcome back!

What has happened to you is part of your story - whether it is the referral or counselling or ???

it is OK if there are details there that you do not want to share. They may not be important, or you might not be ready to share that part or some other reason. There can be a fine line in working out what to disclose vs not.

And not sure where you are at with your therapeutic journey but hope you are doing OK.

what sort of work are you doing?