New kid saying hi

[Bellalee]

Hi,

This is my first time on this site. My name is Bella I'm a wife and mother of a beautiful 2 year old. I have suffered anxiety and depression since I was a teenager. I always tried alternate meds to self medicate until I got pregnant and had to quit smoking/booze/everything else bad for me which sent me into a frenzy so my doctor insisted I went on anti depressants, which I'm still on 3 years late and I feel are working.

I have my up and down days especially ATM, my ex boyfriend committed suicide 2 weeks ago and I'm devasted! I wish I was able to help, to tell him how much I love him and try and change his mind.

Im looking forward to being apart of this special programme and getting help and trying to help other.

thanks for listening x

[mindyblack_dog]

I'm new as well hun. I have been dealing with depression for about 5 years it's hell it really is. You poor thing you must be feeling really awful now. Of course you wish you could of helped him but you wasn't to know. My work mate father has just kill him self and I feel so hopeless knowing I can't change what's happen. Life can be so un fair. It's heart breaking at times. Xxx

[geoff]

hi Bella, it's good that your AD seem to be working, however nothing can prevent the shock to learn what your ex boyfriend has decided to do and when something like this happens, no one can ever be prepared.
I am deeply sorry for you and offer my sincere condolences because it doesn't really matter whether the person is an ex or your current partner, it's something that would be in your memory for a long time.
If someone is feeling suicidal you maybe able to talk them out of it once or twice, but they are deeply suffering from depression, so their thought of carrying it out is with them for as long as they struggle along with life.
You would never know when this was going to happen, because he could have put on a fake face indicating that he was feeling better, when in actual fact he wasn't and felt lousy so he could never see the light at the end of the tunnel, so no matter how hard you tried for him to avoid this, it was a decision he made and it was probably at the spur of the moment.
It's great for you to join the site and would love to have your contribution, Geoff x

[Starwolf]

Hey Bellalee, good to meet you.

Welcome to the forums (and welcome to you too Mindyblackdog).

I am sorry for your loss...life is sometimes desperately difficult, isn't it ?

When someone around us decides to exit their pain, it is normal to wish we could have stopped them. The truth is, we can't. Some people's distress is too crippling for anyone to get near. When inner resources are depleted, there is so much the heart and mind can bear. Sometimes, love is just not enough and trying to help is like building a sand castle on the tide line.

And of course, as Geoff pointed out, the surprise element comes into it. There is no way we can gauge the depth of someone else's despair, particularly if they're intent on hiding it.

On a brighter note, it is good to know your depression and anxiety are kept under control. Caring for a 2 years old can be a challenge at the best of times, so you are doing very well indeed. I hope your loved ones can offer you the support you so much deserve.

Please keep in mind that -when the going gets tough- we are here to listen and assist you in any way we can.

Thank you for hopping on board. Your contribution is much appreciated.